Read Online Sorrows of Adoration by Kimberly Chapman - Free Book Online Page A

truth.
    “Please, Aenna, I’m
sorry I did this to you. It was unfair. I should have told you who
I was, if not days ago then at least before kissing you last night.
That was wrong—I know it now. I just wasn’t thinking. It was
foolish and irresponsible, and I’m honestly sorry for that. But,
please, give me a chance to redeem myself. Let me prove to you that
I was not infatuated by convenience, by the fact that you were
simply there. Please say you’ll give me that chance, that you’ll
still come to the palace with me.”
    What was I to say? Deny
that which I desired above all else? Refuse to forgive him, when I
already had? I could say nothing.
    He raised my face in
his hands again, this time kissing away my tears from my cheeks.
Then he looked at me, expecting an answer.
    Still unable to speak,
I nodded slowly.
    “You’ll give me a
chance then?”
    I nodded again,
although I was already putting my heart in a safe place within my
soul, since I suspected that once we returned he would brush me
aside in favour of a more worthy choice. But none of these thoughts
did I betray to him, neither in expression nor word.
    He was delighted that I
had agreed to give him a chance, and he kissed me again, as he had
the night before, merrily and with an ease of spirit. I tried to
return it in kind despite my doubts.
    Happily he grasped my
hand and said, “Let’s be off then, shall we? And, please, no more
tears. Aenna, it breaks my heart to see tears on the cheeks of such
a strong woman. I promise, I shall prove to you everything I’ve
said. You shall see soon that I am sincere.”
    * * *
    I tried to cheer up as
we walked hand in hand towards the city. I was unable to entirely
hide my concern from him, though—that much was clear from his
behaviour along the last stretch of the journey. He was as he had
been that first day, roguish and full of jests, trying to make me
smile, and his very silliness often made him succeed. Still, my
heart was heavy with the fear that it would all soon end.
    When the city walls
came into view, I stopped. Kurit stopped with me, still holding my
hand in his own, and asked what was wrong.
    I looked at him
worriedly. How could I explain that despite my concession to allow
him to demonstrate his affection, I doubted very much that he would
do so? Beyond those walls was not a bright future with this man as
he promised but inevitable sorrow, and I was afraid. He had told me
I was worthy of him because I was so brave, and yet there I stood,
fearing so much.
    He misinterpreted my
worry. “Aenna, we’re safe now. Guards stand ready at that gate to
escort us to comfort and safety. They are probably expecting us to
emerge from the wilderness any day now.”
    Wonderful, I
thought. Guards stand ready to take us to the palace where I shall
be told, ‘Thank you very much, now please don’t make a scene on
your way out.’
    My continued
silence and refusal to continue walking seemed to worry him. I
thought, Ah,
now he’ll see that I am not so brave and bold as he imagines. Now
he shall realize how wrong he was and reconsider his feelings for
me. Here begins the end, I told myself.
    Instead, he touched my
cheek softly and smiled at me with great compassion. “Our future is
bright, Aenna. I know it’s a new world for you, but I’m here to
help you into it.” Then he kissed me, and I didn’t know whether to
be overjoyed, deeply touched, or despondent.
    When he tried to pull
me along again I went, forcing my feet to move as opposed to trying
to explain to him my tumultuous emotions.
    We approached the
northern gates to Endren just as the cloudy sky began to show signs
of impending darkness. It was a busy gate, with all manner of
people entering and exiting the city, some on horseback, some in
traders’ caravans, and some on foot pulling carts behind them.
Several guards stood questioning those who entered, and scribes
were at hand, no doubt recording what goods were being imported and
exported for tax