Read Online Something Quite Beautiful by Amanda Prowse - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Amanda Prowse
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Edwina Justice swung her leather swivel chair around and contemplated the collage on the corkboard behind her. The two sat in silence.
It was some moments before she spoke. ‘I think when the very worst thing that can happen, happens, it puts your whole life in perspective in a way that’s impossible for others to understand.’ She pictured the moment Alan’s hand had gone limp inside her palm, she had squeezed it tightly and then tapped it with her fingertips, trying to bring him back. His eyes stared ahead, his jaw slack and she remembered asking him, Where have you gone? To which, of course, he didn’t reply.
Warren listened.
‘I haven’t experienced anything like you, but my husband died; he got sick very suddenly and died within two weeks. That was nearly twenty years ago. We had so much yet to achieve and I watched all our hopes and plans disappear in a heartbeat. It shocked me then and it shocks me now. I miss him every single day, I still expect him to phone me or to walk through the door and every time I remember that it is never going to happen, I start to grieve all over again. You would think it might get easier, but it doesn’t. I used to wonder what the point of carrying on was. It all felt so pointless when the person I wanted to live with was no longer here, the person who gave my life meaning, who welcomed me home. But then I realised that life is precious and you have to carry on, no matter how hard or how hurt or how much you long to disappear. You have to carry on, because life is precious.’ She turned the chair to face Warren. ‘Do you understand that?’ He nodded. She continued, ‘I believe some people are born bad...’
Warren heard his stepdad’s words, You useless little bastard, just like your shit of a father...
‘And I believe some people simply find themselves in bad situations.’
Warren nodded again, not trusting himself to speak, he got it, he was born bad. He half wanted it to be over, Go on get out your gun, just shoot me, I know I’m a useless little bastard and I know I failed, I broke my promise. I said I’d keep her safe and I didn’t. He hurt her and I wasn’t there to stop him...
‘You must miss your sister very much?’
He nodded, it was the first time he had allowed himself to think about her in a very long time. ‘I do. I miss her every day. And my mum. But at least I know that they are safe now, that he’s not there to hurt them. He’ll never hurt them ever again, and that makes it kind of worth it.’
Edwina Justice leant forward on her desk, ‘I understand that sentiment. I have worked with offenders my whole life and I have a knack for seeing beneath the veneer, Mr Binns. It’s nothing you can be trained for, but is more of a gift or a curse, depending on how you look at it. I can tell when a person is lying. I can tell when a person is so full of evil that the only answer is to lock him away for a very long time. Unpleasant though it is, it’s how I keep others safe, and keeping everyone safe has to be my priority. And then occasionally I can see that a person who is good has done bad things, sometimes to protect himself, sometimes to protect others, sometimes to survive. I am rarely, if ever, wrong.’
Warren stared at the woman sat in front of him. Where was this going?
Edwina Justice turned in her chair and reached under her desk. Warren gripped the arms of the chair and closed his eyes; he did not want to stare down the barrel. He remembered the feel of the guard’s Smith and Wesson against his temple. He trembled as he waited for the tell-tale click of the gun being readied. This was it. I’m sorry, Amy, I’m sorry I let him hurt you. I’m sorry I let you down, Mum. I love you both so much, I always have and I always will. Be a good girl, Amy, carry on reading. I love you...
The Principal almost whispered, ‘Please, open your eyes.’
He slowly opened his eyes and blinked away the sweat that had fallen from his brow. He
Edwina Justice swung her leather swivel chair around and contemplated the collage on the corkboard behind her. The two sat in silence.
It was some moments before she spoke. ‘I think when the very worst thing that can happen, happens, it puts your whole life in perspective in a way that’s impossible for others to understand.’ She pictured the moment Alan’s hand had gone limp inside her palm, she had squeezed it tightly and then tapped it with her fingertips, trying to bring him back. His eyes stared ahead, his jaw slack and she remembered asking him, Where have you gone? To which, of course, he didn’t reply.
Warren listened.
‘I haven’t experienced anything like you, but my husband died; he got sick very suddenly and died within two weeks. That was nearly twenty years ago. We had so much yet to achieve and I watched all our hopes and plans disappear in a heartbeat. It shocked me then and it shocks me now. I miss him every single day, I still expect him to phone me or to walk through the door and every time I remember that it is never going to happen, I start to grieve all over again. You would think it might get easier, but it doesn’t. I used to wonder what the point of carrying on was. It all felt so pointless when the person I wanted to live with was no longer here, the person who gave my life meaning, who welcomed me home. But then I realised that life is precious and you have to carry on, no matter how hard or how hurt or how much you long to disappear. You have to carry on, because life is precious.’ She turned the chair to face Warren. ‘Do you understand that?’ He nodded. She continued, ‘I believe some people are born bad...’
Warren heard his stepdad’s words, You useless little bastard, just like your shit of a father...
‘And I believe some people simply find themselves in bad situations.’
Warren nodded again, not trusting himself to speak, he got it, he was born bad. He half wanted it to be over, Go on get out your gun, just shoot me, I know I’m a useless little bastard and I know I failed, I broke my promise. I said I’d keep her safe and I didn’t. He hurt her and I wasn’t there to stop him...
‘You must miss your sister very much?’
He nodded, it was the first time he had allowed himself to think about her in a very long time. ‘I do. I miss her every day. And my mum. But at least I know that they are safe now, that he’s not there to hurt them. He’ll never hurt them ever again, and that makes it kind of worth it.’
Edwina Justice leant forward on her desk, ‘I understand that sentiment. I have worked with offenders my whole life and I have a knack for seeing beneath the veneer, Mr Binns. It’s nothing you can be trained for, but is more of a gift or a curse, depending on how you look at it. I can tell when a person is lying. I can tell when a person is so full of evil that the only answer is to lock him away for a very long time. Unpleasant though it is, it’s how I keep others safe, and keeping everyone safe has to be my priority. And then occasionally I can see that a person who is good has done bad things, sometimes to protect himself, sometimes to protect others, sometimes to survive. I am rarely, if ever, wrong.’
Warren stared at the woman sat in front of him. Where was this going?
Edwina Justice turned in her chair and reached under her desk. Warren gripped the arms of the chair and closed his eyes; he did not want to stare down the barrel. He remembered the feel of the guard’s Smith and Wesson against his temple. He trembled as he waited for the tell-tale click of the gun being readied. This was it. I’m sorry, Amy, I’m sorry I let him hurt you. I’m sorry I let you down, Mum. I love you both so much, I always have and I always will. Be a good girl, Amy, carry on reading. I love you...
The Principal almost whispered, ‘Please, open your eyes.’
He slowly opened his eyes and blinked away the sweat that had fallen from his brow. He
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