Read Online Someone I Wanted to Be by Aurelia Wills - Free Book Online Page A

and I was stranded with people I didn’t know. She finally came back, completely wasted and hanging on a different guy. I rode back with them even though they were really drunk, and it was terrifying because there are sharp turns on that mountain road where you can’t see what’s coming. . . .
    I opened my car door and jumped out.
    “What the fuck,” he said.
    “Bye. I’m sorry. I got to go. . . .” I waved like an idiot, pulled up my hood, and ran down the sidewalk toward Mr. Zimmerman’s house.
    He did a U-Turn and passed me, slowly, but I had my hood up and was Leah again. I didn’t look. By the time the sound of his engine faded away, it was a dream.
    The next afternoon, when he called, he said, “Guess what, Ashley? I seen your friend. The one, she’s got thick dark hair.”
    “Oh, yeah? What do you think of her?” said the Kristy voice.
    “She’s all right. Big girl. Not as pretty as you, of course. . . .”
    I started giggling, kind of hysterically. I laughed so hard, I was crying.
    Cindy stuck her head into my room. “Who are you talking to?”
    My phone had died.

It was Monday, the first of May. Anita and I had planned to meet early in front of my building and walk to school together. The craggy mountain stretched threateningly up through the smog into the pale-blue sky, but the air felt fresh. Little plants were growing out of the cracks in the sidewalk.
    Anita and I had now been friends for two weeks. It was one of those cases where you and someone else are instantly friends — there’s no doubt, no mistaking it. My phone was out of minutes, I had no money, and Cindy was keeping her purse in her room. For two days, I’d been just Leah, not Ashley. I spent the whole weekend in bed reading Roald Dahl.
    Anita and I walked along Tenth Avenue and discussed our future careers. She was now pretty certain that she wanted to be an anime illustrator. Acting and screenwriting were both too risky. She kept having major breakthroughs in her art.
    “I could totally see you as a doctor,” she said. “Not a dermatologist, for sure. All those skin conditions are gross. Maybe a family doctor? You’d get to see a lot of different —”
    Kristy’s red Civic pulled to the curb ahead of us.
    Anita and I stopped walking. Kristy’s car whined back to where we stood in front of EZPAWN. The black metal grate was still locked over the glass door.
    Kristy leaned over Corinne’s lap and smiled at me, not at Anita. Her eyes were blank and blue as the morning sky. “Hey, Leah! Hop in. Leah, come on! I’ve got to tell you something.”
    Corinne, whose eyes had glazed over the day before when she passed me in the hallway, smiled sweetly and showed her dimples.
    Fruity perfume poured out of the car. K103 was playing on the radio. Both Kristy and Corinne were wearing short-sleeved sweaters and tight jeans. Their hair looked shiny, and they had put on matching rose-colored blush and lip gloss.
    I stood there stupidly. Anita stood beside me. Her face was locked into a weird frown. She pressed the giant guide to drawing manga against her chest.
    I actually considered saying, “Can Anita come, too?” but one glance at her fringy leather jacket, the studs going up her ear, and her chewed, black-polished fingertips pinching the spine of her book killed that idea. Her black eyeliner curled up the outside corners of her eyes.
I’m sorry, Anita.
It was a silent little prayer.
    “I’ve got to talk to Kristy. See you later, OK?” I said to her chin.
    “You’re going with Yertle?” she whispered. I pulled open the back door to Kristy’s car and threw myself in. Kristy hit the gas and we sped away.
    It was a sickening kind of relief to be back in Kristy’s car. I didn’t return her smile in the rearview mirror. She started whistling “Teenage Dream.” I pictured Anita walking alone in her leather jacket, hanging on to her book like it was a life preserver, her face tight and serious.
    Kristy continued to watch me in