the navy.
âWell, can I ask you a question?â Jeff said.
âOf course,â Debbie said, figuring he wanted tips on how to approach T.J.
âI understand that youâre dating somebody,â Jeff said.
âWhat? No. Have you ever seen me in here with somebody?â
âWell, no, but Diane says that you have a boyfriend.â
âReally,â said Debbie. âI donât have a boyfriendâI have an acquaintance. If you say boyfriend, that means commitment. And I donât have commitments.â
Jeff looked quizzical.
âWhy are you asking anyway?â Debbie wanted to know.
âWell,â said Jeff, âIâve wanted to ask you out for a really long time. I kept trying to tell Diane, I want to meet the other girl. But I really donât want to ask somebody out thatâs already in a situationâI donât believe in that.â
âWell, let me tell you,â said Debbie. âFirst, I donât have a serious boyfriend. Second, I donât want a serious boyfriend. And third, T.J.âs not interested in you. You donât have enough hair for her. Iâm sorry to say that, but you just donât.â
âYeah, I already figured that out,â said Jeff. âIâm not interested in her. I never have been. But if I like somebody, I only like to see them one-on-one. I donât like to see multiple people at the same time.â
âWell, suit yourself,â said Debbie.
They chatted a little longer and then decided to leave. Right before they departed, however, Jeff had a change of heart. âYou know what?â he said. âI think I am going to ask you out. Would you be willing to go?â
âYeah,â said Debbie. âIâm not making you no promises, but Iâll go with you.â
Debbie never dated another man again. Jeff kept his home spotless. He washed the dishes, made the bed, and scrubbed the shower stall before he left for work. Mr. Clean, she called him. Debbie worried that Jeff would reject her as soon as he saw that she was a bad housekeeper. After her refrigerator had broken, Debbie had taken to living out of a cooler, which she kept full of beer and ice; she had stopped buying food, and just picked up meals when she was out. Jeff asked if she was ever going to invite him over, and she said no, because she was not aSuzy Homemaker. Then Jeffâs landlord sold the home that he had been renting, and Jeff moved in with his mother. One night Debbie and Jeff had sex in the basement with the heating vents wide open. Jeffâs mother announced that Debbie was no longer welcome to spend the night.
âMy God, Iâm forty years old,â said Jeff. âAnd my motherâs not letting me have a sleepover!â
âHoney, sheâs Pentecostal,â said Debbie.
Jeff spent the following night at Debbieâs house. The next morning, he gave her one of his looks.
âYou have no food in the fridge,â he observed.
âWhy would I have food in the fridge?â Debbie asked. âItâs just me.â
âI guess you donât have to have food,â said Jeff.
He moved in that year. He offered to help pay the bills, but Debbie declined, saying she would feel obligated. Debbie remained entirely faithful to Jeff, but she still logged many hours at Shortyâs. Debbie rarely acted drunk, but in the diary that she kept on an intermittent basis, she carefully noted what sort of alcohol she consumed and what effect it had upon her. When Debbie and Jeff took a trip to Belize, after Debbie was named âmanager of the yearâ by the company that ran her salon, Debbie wrote in her diary that they ordered shots of Baileys with their coffee at breakfast. Debbie explained to the waitress that this was their âget up and goâ drink. In the afternoon, they drank multiple piña coladas, and afterward, Debbie noted, with obvious regret, âCanât get a buzz.â
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