Read Online Snowbound With the Notorious Rake by Sarah Mallory - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Sarah Mallory
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stepped away from him. ‘There can only be pain that way.’
‘Because of my past? Believe me, Rose—’
‘Are you going to promise me you will change? It will not happen.’
‘Hell and damnation, woman, how can you—?’ Again that tiny shake of her head accompanied by such a sad smile that he bit back his fury. ‘Tell me, Rose. Tell me why you are so sure.’
Her blue-grey eyes rested upon him for a long moment, then she turned and walked back to the window. Her eyes were fixed on the snowy scene, but her thoughts were very far away.
‘Once a rake, always a rake. I was married to such a man. I met Harry when I was still at school in Barnstaple. He charmed me from the first. Everyone knew his reputation, but he told me it would be different when we were married. I believed him. I was just seventeen when I became his wife, Harry was five and twenty. For a few months I think, believe, he was faithful to me, but then I was with child and he…he began to stay away. Whenever I taxed him with it he would deny it; if I caught him out in his philandering then he would come back to me, repentant, promising he would reform. It was after one such incident that hebought the property at Exford. He said we would make a fresh start, but whenever there was a pretty woman…’ She crossed her arms, hugging herself. ‘His death was something of a relief. I could continue to love him, but he could no longer hurt me.’ She turned back to look at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. ‘So you see why I will not allow that to happen to me again?’
‘But I am not like your husband, Rose. I will prove it to you.’
She shook her head, taking out her handkerchief to wipe her eyes. When she spoke again her tone was brisk.
‘You can only prove it by living a respectable and chaste life for…I do not know…years. I can see by your horrified look that the idea does not appeal.’
Lawrence watched in silence as she put on her bonnet and gloves. She was going. If he could not come up with some argument within the next few minutes, she would walk out of his life for ever. He tried to think, but his brain refused to work. Mechanically he picked up her cloak and placed it around her. He noted the way her fingers paused in tying the strings when he allowed his hands to rest for a moment on her shoulders.
‘So there is nothing I can say.’
‘Nothing.’
‘What if…’ his hands tightened and he turned her to face him ‘…what if there is a child? I would have a right to know.’
She paled, her eyes dilating, and he braced himself to hold her, should she faint.
‘You would, of course,’ she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘But there will be no child.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
She gently pushed his hands away.
‘I can be absolutely sure. That is all you need to know.’
With that she turned and swept out of the room.
Evans was waiting with the horses at the door. He stepped forwards to help Rose to mount, but a word from Lawrence forestalled him. She did not object as Lawrence threw her up into the saddle. He checked the girth, made sure her foot was secure in the stirrup, anything to delay her departure.
‘Goodbye.’ She leaned down to him, holding out her hand. ‘It was very good of you to take us in. I am very grateful. For everything.’
They might have been parting after an innocuous morning call, save for the haunted look in her eyes, from which all the blue had disappeared. He took her gloved fingers, felt them tremble in his grasp.
‘If ever you need me—’
She nodded.
‘That is kind, thank you, but I have everything I need at Mersecombe.’
‘At least say I may call on you—’
‘No.’ Her fingers gripped his hand and she bent her serious gaze upon him. ‘Promise me, promise me you will not come looking for me.’ Her grip tightened. ‘Please, Lawrence.’
Her eyes demanded an answer. He nodded.
‘I give you my word.’
‘Thank you.’ She released his hand
‘Because of my past? Believe me, Rose—’
‘Are you going to promise me you will change? It will not happen.’
‘Hell and damnation, woman, how can you—?’ Again that tiny shake of her head accompanied by such a sad smile that he bit back his fury. ‘Tell me, Rose. Tell me why you are so sure.’
Her blue-grey eyes rested upon him for a long moment, then she turned and walked back to the window. Her eyes were fixed on the snowy scene, but her thoughts were very far away.
‘Once a rake, always a rake. I was married to such a man. I met Harry when I was still at school in Barnstaple. He charmed me from the first. Everyone knew his reputation, but he told me it would be different when we were married. I believed him. I was just seventeen when I became his wife, Harry was five and twenty. For a few months I think, believe, he was faithful to me, but then I was with child and he…he began to stay away. Whenever I taxed him with it he would deny it; if I caught him out in his philandering then he would come back to me, repentant, promising he would reform. It was after one such incident that hebought the property at Exford. He said we would make a fresh start, but whenever there was a pretty woman…’ She crossed her arms, hugging herself. ‘His death was something of a relief. I could continue to love him, but he could no longer hurt me.’ She turned back to look at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. ‘So you see why I will not allow that to happen to me again?’
‘But I am not like your husband, Rose. I will prove it to you.’
She shook her head, taking out her handkerchief to wipe her eyes. When she spoke again her tone was brisk.
‘You can only prove it by living a respectable and chaste life for…I do not know…years. I can see by your horrified look that the idea does not appeal.’
Lawrence watched in silence as she put on her bonnet and gloves. She was going. If he could not come up with some argument within the next few minutes, she would walk out of his life for ever. He tried to think, but his brain refused to work. Mechanically he picked up her cloak and placed it around her. He noted the way her fingers paused in tying the strings when he allowed his hands to rest for a moment on her shoulders.
‘So there is nothing I can say.’
‘Nothing.’
‘What if…’ his hands tightened and he turned her to face him ‘…what if there is a child? I would have a right to know.’
She paled, her eyes dilating, and he braced himself to hold her, should she faint.
‘You would, of course,’ she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘But there will be no child.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
She gently pushed his hands away.
‘I can be absolutely sure. That is all you need to know.’
With that she turned and swept out of the room.
Evans was waiting with the horses at the door. He stepped forwards to help Rose to mount, but a word from Lawrence forestalled him. She did not object as Lawrence threw her up into the saddle. He checked the girth, made sure her foot was secure in the stirrup, anything to delay her departure.
‘Goodbye.’ She leaned down to him, holding out her hand. ‘It was very good of you to take us in. I am very grateful. For everything.’
They might have been parting after an innocuous morning call, save for the haunted look in her eyes, from which all the blue had disappeared. He took her gloved fingers, felt them tremble in his grasp.
‘If ever you need me—’
She nodded.
‘That is kind, thank you, but I have everything I need at Mersecombe.’
‘At least say I may call on you—’
‘No.’ Her fingers gripped his hand and she bent her serious gaze upon him. ‘Promise me, promise me you will not come looking for me.’ Her grip tightened. ‘Please, Lawrence.’
Her eyes demanded an answer. He nodded.
‘I give you my word.’
‘Thank you.’ She released his hand
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