each of them a cup. She needed a second or two to gather thoughts sheâd only been considering for the last few minutes herself. Insatiable. She had been. And that had surprised the heck out of her. âI just never really cared that much about sex is all.â
A half smile tugged at the edge of his mouth. âBut you have such a talent for it.â He paused thoughtfully, then asked, âSo it must be that your former lovers werenât very good.â
Kate snapped a look at him. It was one thing for her to reconsider the intimacies of her marriage, but she wouldnât stand there and let Sean insult Samâs memory. âHe was just fine, thanks.â
âJust fine?â Sean laughed shortly, took a sip of his coffee and said, â Fine is not a word you want to use about sex. Cookies maybe, but not sex.â He stopped, straightened up and looked at her in disbelief. âWait a minute. You said he . Youâve only been with one other guy?â
A new tidal wave of guilt roared over her, making Kate think sheâd drown in that dark, dismal sea. Yes, before Sean sheâd only been with her husband. Samâs smiling face rose up in her mind and Kateâs heart ached. She couldnât talk about him with Sean. Didnât want to hear sympathetic noises or see a sheen of pity in his eyes. Kate didnât even talk about Sam with her friends or her father, so she wouldnât consider it with Sean. She was dealing with Samâs loss, but she was doing it her own way. âI donât think we need to discuss our pasts. Unless youâve got something youâd like to share...â
It was gone so quickly, Kate couldnât be sure sheâd seen it at all. But there was a flicker of something dark in his eyes. Apparently, he was as protective of his own memories as she was of her own. Well, good, then he would understand.
âNo,â he finally said, âwe donât have to talk about the past.â
Relieved, Kate nodded. âIn that case, why donât we talk about the future instead?â
In a blink, his features went stiff and tight, his eyes glittered wildly with a typical sort of blind, male panic. âWhat future?â
Laughter shot from her throat, startling her and making Sean scowl in response. His expression only made her laugh harder and boy, it felt good to let go of the guilt, the awkwardness and the morning-after conversation.
âWhatâs so damn funny?â he demanded.
Still laughing, Kate held one hand up in a silent request for time to get herself under control. Sean waited, but he wasnât happy, as evidenced by his scowl deepening.
Shaking her head, Kate realized that for the first time since awakening in Seanâs arms, she felt like herself. Nerves were gone, that odd sense of guilt mingled with regret had faded away and she remembered exactly who she was. She didnât have to walk on eggshells around Sean because they werenât in a relationship ,so to speak. They were each strong individuals and as long as she kept that in mind, she could handle whatever came next.
Laughter, though, continued to spill from her in a long, rich torrent until she struggled to catch her breath. Looking at Sean didnât help because he looked so...irritated. Men were just amazing, she told herself, amusement continuing to bubble in her mind.
Sean was a prime example. Heâd done everything he could to get her into bed...well, sleeping bag. Then the following morning, all she had to do was say the word future and she could practically hear him stepping on the metaphorical brakes. She was only surprised he hadnât tried to leaveâblizzard or no blizzard. He was no doubt assuming she had visions filled with white picket fences and rosy-cheeked children. Her laughter faded away as she recalled that sheâd had those very dreams once. And then they died. She had no interest in resuscitating them.
When she had the
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