Heather stood by his side, not smiling much, as Bryan spoke with Mr. Thayer, and their two little kids, redheads like Bryan, clung to their fatherâs pants.
Those could have been my kids , Jessie thought.
But sheâd her own kid, and Jessie wouldnât trade Abby for anything, for any other life. For all the pain sheâd been through with Emilâand the memory of the callous way heâd slit that manâs throat would never fully leave herâJessie wouldnât change what she had been through. If she hadnât met Emilâif she hadnât slept with himâshe wouldnât have Abby. And life without Abby was unimaginable.
You didnât feel that way about the boy.
Jessie forced such thoughts out of her head. It had been a while since she thought about the twin sheâd miscarried, the little boy fetus in the pool of bloodâthe little boy who had haunted her dreams for so long. For the last couple of yearsâand especially since sheâd learned Emil had been killedâJessie had been largely free from such haunting memories. Why was she suddenly thinking about the baby sheâd lost this afternoonâwhen she had a yard full of guests to entertain?
She knew why. Those people out in the yard represented her past. They knew Mom and Dad. They knew her secrets. They knew what she had been through. Not just with Emil either. They knew about her heartbreak with Todd and with Bryan, and they all would watch to see how Jessie reacted when she greeted them, their wives at their sides.
Jessie held her chin high and walked through the dining room toward the back door. As she did so, she passed a photograph of Mom. Sheâd found it yesterday, and slipped it into a frame and hung it on the wall. It was a picture that her mother had given her when she had gone off to college. Jessie had been nervous, afraid she wouldnât be able to handle the workload and the pressures of living away from home for the first time in her life. Mom had found a photo of herself from when she was Jessieâs ageâseventeen. In the photo, Mom was smiling wide, sporting her mid-1960s hairdo that flipped up at the ends. She wore a little black choker with a heart in the center. And sheâd taken a black felt-tip marker and inscribed the photo for Jessie.
You can do anything, my sweet baby. There is nothing you canât accomplish when you put your mind, heart and spirit into it.
Sheâd signed it, Love, Mom.
Jessie paused and looked at the photo, rereading the inscription. Then she nodded to herself and headed outside.
She walked straight into the foursome of Monica and Todd, and Heather and Bryan.
âHello, Jessie,â Heather said.
There was a brief hug between the two women.
âWelcome home,â Bryan told her.
Jessie didnât hug him, but shook his hand.
âThank you.â She paused. âItâs good to be home.â
âYou look great,â Bryan said.
His words seemed thick, and pointed, and full of meaning. In that unspoken way Aunt Paulette would have described as psychic, Jessie seemed to sense Heatherâs discomfort with her husbandâs observation.
âJessie always looks great,â Todd reiterated, and this time Jessie felt Monicaâs discomfort.
âWhere are your children?â Jessie asked, directing the question to Heather. She found she couldnât look at Bryan fully. âI thought I saw them a moment ago.â
It was Bryan who answered her. âThey spotted the swing set,â he said.
They all looked in that direction. Bryanâs two kids were scrambling onto the two swings, leaving Abby just to watch. Inga was with them, supervising it all.
âPiper and Ashton are thrilled to have someone in the neighborhood finally to play with,â Heather said.
âI hope theyâll be good friends,â Jessie said.
There was a moment of awkward silence. âGood friendsâ was a term with some
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