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Authors: Juliette Sobanet
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Frédéric and I shuffled around and surveyed the steamy bar for what seemed like an eternity while the horny love birds wrapped things up.
Finally, they came up for air and the boys were off. A wave of exhaustion swept over me as Lexi and I headed for the door. My feet were killing me. It was time to go home and get some sleep.
“So, it looks like you had a pretty hot time. I told you that you had nothing to worry about,” Lexi said as she put her arm around me. We laughed as we stumbled out of the bar and split a cab ride home.
The alcohol had worn off by the time I reached my dorm, and suddenly I wasn’t feeling that tired anymore. I hated going home alone and trying to fall asleep by myself. While it had been fun to distract myself for the night with a new guy, the whole bar scene made me feel even more desperate and alone than I already felt. I missed home. I missed my friends. And most of all, I missed the feeling of security that I had felt with Jeff. But here I was, back in the singles scene again, back out at the bars, making out with random guys. Acting like I was in college. But, what other choice did I have?
I glanced at myself in the mirror. My black eye make-up had smudged, my lipstick had worn off, and the circles under my eyes had grown to epic proportions. I looked like a drunken mess.
What in the hell was I doing?
I sat down at my computer, hoping to find some emails from home that could take away this empty, sickening feeling.
But there, at the top of my inbox, was an email from Jeff.
Seven
samedi, le 2 octobre
When the ex comes knocking, lock your heart in a vault and don’t answer the door.
Charlotte,
How are you? How are things in Paris? I hope you’re okay. I miss you more than you can imagine. I wish you would’ve let me explain so we could’ve worked things out. Can you email me your number over there so we can at least talk?
I need you, Charlotte.
I love you,
Jeff
Patches of heat stung my face as I stared at the screen. What in the hell was he thinking? Did he forget that he cheated on me ?
At the same time I felt elated that he had written to me, that he missed me, that he still loved me. I loved him so much and just wanted to be with him, talk to him, feel his arms around me. Anything to make this emptiness go away.
And still, I was so furious with him. Furious at everything he had done and at his insensitive email. I needed to move on and get over him, but reading his words on the screen made me want to fly back to DC and forget that any of this had ever happened.
I started typing.
Dear Jeff,
I miss you like crazy and I love you too. I’m coming home tomorrow. Let’s just forget about everything and move on.
Love,
Charlotte
I read my email over and over again, wanting to hit the “send” button so that I could erase everything and go back to the way things used to be before he had hurt me so badly. But that’s just it—he had hurt me, more than anyone had in my entire life, and I knew in my heart that there was no way I could move on and pretend it had never happened. I deleted my email and started over.
Jeff,
After everything you’ve put me through, how can you expect me to want to talk to you? Please just leave me alone.
Charlotte
***
I woke up the next morning to the sound of my head pounding inside my skull. My mind raced to remember the night before. The shots, Frédéric, and as if I could forget, Jeff’s email. As soon as I remembered our email exchange, I shot out of bed and turned on my computer to see if Jeff had replied.
Nothing. No response. I guess I had told him to leave me alone. Still, I was hoping for a response. I wanted Jeff to fight for me. To not take no for an answer. But there was nothing except the pounding inside my head and the silence in my lonely room greeting me when I awoke that morning.
I took a couple of Aleve and downed two glasses of water while I gazed out my window at the
Finally, they came up for air and the boys were off. A wave of exhaustion swept over me as Lexi and I headed for the door. My feet were killing me. It was time to go home and get some sleep.
“So, it looks like you had a pretty hot time. I told you that you had nothing to worry about,” Lexi said as she put her arm around me. We laughed as we stumbled out of the bar and split a cab ride home.
The alcohol had worn off by the time I reached my dorm, and suddenly I wasn’t feeling that tired anymore. I hated going home alone and trying to fall asleep by myself. While it had been fun to distract myself for the night with a new guy, the whole bar scene made me feel even more desperate and alone than I already felt. I missed home. I missed my friends. And most of all, I missed the feeling of security that I had felt with Jeff. But here I was, back in the singles scene again, back out at the bars, making out with random guys. Acting like I was in college. But, what other choice did I have?
I glanced at myself in the mirror. My black eye make-up had smudged, my lipstick had worn off, and the circles under my eyes had grown to epic proportions. I looked like a drunken mess.
What in the hell was I doing?
I sat down at my computer, hoping to find some emails from home that could take away this empty, sickening feeling.
But there, at the top of my inbox, was an email from Jeff.
Seven
samedi, le 2 octobre
When the ex comes knocking, lock your heart in a vault and don’t answer the door.
Charlotte,
How are you? How are things in Paris? I hope you’re okay. I miss you more than you can imagine. I wish you would’ve let me explain so we could’ve worked things out. Can you email me your number over there so we can at least talk?
I need you, Charlotte.
I love you,
Jeff
Patches of heat stung my face as I stared at the screen. What in the hell was he thinking? Did he forget that he cheated on me ?
At the same time I felt elated that he had written to me, that he missed me, that he still loved me. I loved him so much and just wanted to be with him, talk to him, feel his arms around me. Anything to make this emptiness go away.
And still, I was so furious with him. Furious at everything he had done and at his insensitive email. I needed to move on and get over him, but reading his words on the screen made me want to fly back to DC and forget that any of this had ever happened.
I started typing.
Dear Jeff,
I miss you like crazy and I love you too. I’m coming home tomorrow. Let’s just forget about everything and move on.
Love,
Charlotte
I read my email over and over again, wanting to hit the “send” button so that I could erase everything and go back to the way things used to be before he had hurt me so badly. But that’s just it—he had hurt me, more than anyone had in my entire life, and I knew in my heart that there was no way I could move on and pretend it had never happened. I deleted my email and started over.
Jeff,
After everything you’ve put me through, how can you expect me to want to talk to you? Please just leave me alone.
Charlotte
***
I woke up the next morning to the sound of my head pounding inside my skull. My mind raced to remember the night before. The shots, Frédéric, and as if I could forget, Jeff’s email. As soon as I remembered our email exchange, I shot out of bed and turned on my computer to see if Jeff had replied.
Nothing. No response. I guess I had told him to leave me alone. Still, I was hoping for a response. I wanted Jeff to fight for me. To not take no for an answer. But there was nothing except the pounding inside my head and the silence in my lonely room greeting me when I awoke that morning.
I took a couple of Aleve and downed two glasses of water while I gazed out my window at the
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