one?” She’s twisting a pig tail around her
finger when I hear the bell above the door again. Two guys walk through the
door, freezing a few paces in, then start shuffling backwards to leave. Harry’s whole face goes red and he charges up to the jerk
in the sun hat with the chin strap rapist beard and slams his whole fist
against the rack of DVDs.
“Hey! What the hell are you doing
in here with a little girl, asshole? What the...” He looks down at her and
stops shouting. His face goes redder than a burning tomato, his lips forming a
huge O . The customers by the door,
they move a little closer, I drop the duster when the little girl screams,
throwing the movies onto the floor, “I’m not a little girl , you idiot! I’m a fucking midget !”
Harry gives them free rentals for
a month and lets the guy take home a pair of edible
underwear, the girl gets a dildo on the house.
After they leave Harry comes up
to me shaking his head, “Wow, dodged a bullet on that one.”
“How so?”
He shrugs, slips his hands in his
pockets and look around the empty store. “Little people, they’ve got good
lawyers.”
“Oh?”
“Could’ve got defamation on that
one. Shoot, I
was close to smackin ’ the guy!”
“Well, it’s understandable I
suppose.”
“Yeah, but still . Last thing we need to read about in the papers is a porn store owner pummeling
a midget couple in his place of business, ya know?”
“They weren’t both midgets...”
“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”
I shrug too. “Yeah I guess.”
“You’re off soon, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Ok, well just tidy up a bit. I’ll count till if you take out the trash.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I got some numbers I have
to add from last night, balance some digits.”
I sit down on the stool behind
the counter. “Harry, you know I can
count till...”
He takes his hands out of his pockets,
waves them and touches my arm, which sort of creeps me
out. “No no, it’s not that. I know you can be trusted on this shit, but I
really do have to add some numbers up. To be honest...” He looks around the
store again. “Just between you and me, I don’t think the other guy who comes in
nights is all that together, if you know what I mean?”
“Huh?”
“I think he’s got some...” he
taps his nostril, “... some habits and I doubt he’s covering them all too well
with his salary.”
“Oh.”
“Think he’s got sticky fingers,
and is dipping them in the cash register now and again.”
“Oh.”
He leans in a little and half
whispers, “I think he’s the reason we lost those gag balls, too.”
“You think he’s stealing stock?”
“Yeah, I do.”
I shrug again and pretend that
his point is really sinking in. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“I got to keep an eye on him.”
“Yeah, totally. Keep your eye on the creep.”
I swing the bags of trash into
the alley dumpster out back, light a smoke and look at the passing helicopters
shining their spot lights against the sides of glass buildings. I’ve never
stolen cash from here, I don’t think it’s right. The
girls I take home and get rid of, they’ve always got some cash on them, so I
just take whatever they’ve got in their purses and that’s always covered my
extra expenses fine. However, I don’t want Harry to see me ringing in gag balls
and dildos.
In the two years I’ve worked here
he’s told me a few times about girls wandering in and asking for me, and he’s
always had this lingering look in his eye whenever my personal life is brought
up. I just try and keep that aspect of myself under wraps with him. Last thing
I need is him asking me about my sex life and me having to think about drinking
blood and sewing rats into women’s stomachs after the orgasm. Well, I don’t
really mind thinking about that, just not while I’m at work with my horny
middle aged boss.
Strangely enough, I’ve never met
the other guy who works here. I know it’s him, me and some other
finger when I hear the bell above the door again. Two guys walk through the
door, freezing a few paces in, then start shuffling backwards to leave. Harry’s whole face goes red and he charges up to the jerk
in the sun hat with the chin strap rapist beard and slams his whole fist
against the rack of DVDs.
“Hey! What the hell are you doing
in here with a little girl, asshole? What the...” He looks down at her and
stops shouting. His face goes redder than a burning tomato, his lips forming a
huge O . The customers by the door,
they move a little closer, I drop the duster when the little girl screams,
throwing the movies onto the floor, “I’m not a little girl , you idiot! I’m a fucking midget !”
Harry gives them free rentals for
a month and lets the guy take home a pair of edible
underwear, the girl gets a dildo on the house.
After they leave Harry comes up
to me shaking his head, “Wow, dodged a bullet on that one.”
“How so?”
He shrugs, slips his hands in his
pockets and look around the empty store. “Little people, they’ve got good
lawyers.”
“Oh?”
“Could’ve got defamation on that
one. Shoot, I
was close to smackin ’ the guy!”
“Well, it’s understandable I
suppose.”
“Yeah, but still . Last thing we need to read about in the papers is a porn store owner pummeling
a midget couple in his place of business, ya know?”
“They weren’t both midgets...”
“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”
I shrug too. “Yeah I guess.”
“You’re off soon, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Ok, well just tidy up a bit. I’ll count till if you take out the trash.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I got some numbers I have
to add from last night, balance some digits.”
I sit down on the stool behind
the counter. “Harry, you know I can
count till...”
He takes his hands out of his pockets,
waves them and touches my arm, which sort of creeps me
out. “No no, it’s not that. I know you can be trusted on this shit, but I
really do have to add some numbers up. To be honest...” He looks around the
store again. “Just between you and me, I don’t think the other guy who comes in
nights is all that together, if you know what I mean?”
“Huh?”
“I think he’s got some...” he
taps his nostril, “... some habits and I doubt he’s covering them all too well
with his salary.”
“Oh.”
“Think he’s got sticky fingers,
and is dipping them in the cash register now and again.”
“Oh.”
He leans in a little and half
whispers, “I think he’s the reason we lost those gag balls, too.”
“You think he’s stealing stock?”
“Yeah, I do.”
I shrug again and pretend that
his point is really sinking in. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“I got to keep an eye on him.”
“Yeah, totally. Keep your eye on the creep.”
I swing the bags of trash into
the alley dumpster out back, light a smoke and look at the passing helicopters
shining their spot lights against the sides of glass buildings. I’ve never
stolen cash from here, I don’t think it’s right. The
girls I take home and get rid of, they’ve always got some cash on them, so I
just take whatever they’ve got in their purses and that’s always covered my
extra expenses fine. However, I don’t want Harry to see me ringing in gag balls
and dildos.
In the two years I’ve worked here
he’s told me a few times about girls wandering in and asking for me, and he’s
always had this lingering look in his eye whenever my personal life is brought
up. I just try and keep that aspect of myself under wraps with him. Last thing
I need is him asking me about my sex life and me having to think about drinking
blood and sewing rats into women’s stomachs after the orgasm. Well, I don’t
really mind thinking about that, just not while I’m at work with my horny
middle aged boss.
Strangely enough, I’ve never met
the other guy who works here. I know it’s him, me and some other
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