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music.  The more I heard the more
I fell in love with their sound.  Their folk rock sound with a bit of country
thrown in was something totally new to our music scene.  Even putting a label
on it seemed way too simplistic.  They were unique and to think til now they
had never left their home village astounded me.  But as Lance said all the
feelings that make a good song are through interactions with people and you
don’t need to travel anywhere to experience that. 
    Once the single had been done and dusted we concentrated on
the set they wanted to perfect for the tour.  A lot of the songs were from
their debut album so we were familiar with them but they also wanted to add in
a few new songs.  The process of getting a new song to how they wanted it was
very organic so each day was fun and full of experimentation.  For Cam and I it
was our dream job; getting paid for doing something that didn’t even feel like
work.
    The night before we were due to leave on tour I rang Ems to say
goodbye and to check all was well with the new baby.  Of course I should have
known Ems wouldn’t have forgotten there was a story to tell and I found myself
blurting out the whole story of the fling in Matapouri right through to him now
being my current boss.
    “That’s quite a story Jess and I’m not sure if I think he is
an absolute rotter or should thank him for finally getting your head straight
about Jay.  He should have told you who he was though.”  Ems sounded indignant
on my behalf and I couldn’t help sticking up for Mack.
    “Yeh he should have but I think the outcome would still have
been the same.  I don’t know what it is about Mack but all my usual convictions
and values go out the window when he is around.  It is going to be interesting
being on tour with him.”
    “So what’s stopping you guys getting to know each other
better?  Is it a no no to fraternise? Or is it something else that’s holding
you back?” 
    For Ems love was a black and white affair; if you loved
someone then you should be together.  But it was easy for her to say seeing as
the guy she had fallen in love with was from the farm next door.  And all they
ever wanted was the exact same things.
    It wouldn’t be like that for me.  Mack lived on the other
side of the world and I had no idea what he wanted out of life.  But I did know
that for me the thought of not being able to go home to see the family whenever
I wanted would be unbearable.
    “It’s not that simple Ems and no, there isn’t any rules
stopping me from having a fling with Mack while on tour.  But that’s what it
would be; a fling, and then he would go home.  He has an amazing career in
Edinburgh and he would be the first to admit that he works every hour that god
gives him.  So where would that leave me, even thinking for one minute that he
would want me to go back there with him.”
    I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks.  I hadn’t
meant to get this worked up and I felt sorry landing this all on Ems lap seeing
as how she had a new baby and all.
    “Jess you sound like you are already emotionally involved. 
Why don’t you talk to Mack?  It can’t hurt.” 
    “But I don’t even know if he feels the same way.  Anyway the
outcome is always the same.  His life is in Scotland and mine is here.  It will
be fine, I just need to keep my distance and make sure nothing more happens. 
Thanks Ems, and sorry to dump this on you.”
    “Hey you don’t need to be sorry; I just wish I had a magic
wand as I’m feeling a bit useless.  I don’t even have any fabulous advice and I
like having fabulous advice to hand out!”
    I laughed as Ems has always been the one who has made me
feel better when things felt hopeless.  And it had been good getting this off
my chest as when I had said it out loud I knew I was right.  It was never going
to work.  We chatted for a bit longer about Joseph and with a promise to visit
as soon as I returned, I rang off. 
    The next