Read Online Silver Dawn (Wishes #4.5) by G. J. Walker-Smith - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: G. J. Walker-Smith
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the clock on the wall. I’d been sitting with Jack for well over an hour. I was almost proud of the accomplishment.
I nodded. “Will you come with me, please?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, just give me a minute?”
Hannah smiled briefly. “Take as long as you need.”
She closed the door as she left. I hadn’t noticed her do that before. Perhaps she thought I didn’t need supervision any more.
I half-heartedly fussed with Jack’s blankets before gently brushing the back of my hand down his chubby cheek.
“I’ll be back soon,” I whispered. “Don’t go anywhere.”
18. CASUAL AND CALM
Hannah dutifully escorted me back to the ICU, just as she’d done the day before. We stepped into the elevator and the doors closed behind us. “She’s just going to look like she’s sleeping, right?” I asked.
I’d already seen the horrible machines they were monitoring her with. In my mind, there was nothing else they could inflict upon her poor body.
Hannah glanced across at me. “It’ll be a little different, Alex,” she quietly replied. “You just have to remember that she’s not in any pain, okay?”
I managed a stiff nod. I might’ve even pulled off a calm expression, but I was terrified to the point of nausea.
Moving slower than I’d ever done in my life, I walked from the doorway to Gabi’s bed.
It was naïve to think things couldn’t get worse. The leads on her chest were still in place, so was the cuff on her arm and the thing on her finger. I could deal with that. What I couldn’t deal with was the tube that had been forced down her throat. I asked Hannah what it was. If I’d been thinking clearly, I wouldn’t have needed an explanation.
“It’s a ventilator,” she replied solemnly. “It’s helping her breathe.”
“Do you think she’s going to get better?” I hoarsely whispered.
“She’s a fighter, Alex,” she replied. “Gabi likes a good fight. Remember when Flynn cut back the bougainvillea on the fence line? I thought she was going to knock him out.”
I huffed out a strange noise that could almost have passed as a laugh. “She wanted to,” I shakily confirmed. “I held her back with custard.”
“You know she’ll fight,” she encouraged. “You just have to be strong too.”
I wondered if I could do it, and quickly realised I couldn’t. A scorching wave of heat washed through my whole body. “Hannah,” I mumbled. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
I got as far as the corridor, put my hands to my knees and doubled over.
Hannah was right behind me. When she thrust a plastic basin under my chin I threw up for the first time in years. I heaved and I sobbed. Then I apologised and heaved some more.
“Vomit doesn’t bother me, Alex,” she reassured. “I’ve seen worse.”
It bothered me but I didn’t have a whole lot of humility left at that point.
After a long few minutes, another nurse appeared. She handed me a warm washcloth. In return, Hannah gave her a bowl of vomit. She slipped away without saying a word. I couldn’t even find the strength to thank her.
“You don’t have to go back in there if you don’t want to,” said Hannah.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “I’m okay now.”
“Is there anything you need me to do?” she asked.
I glanced across at her. “Just look after Jack.”
“I like that name.” She smiled. “Anything else?”
I shook my head. “No.”
She put her hand on my upper arm. “If it gets too much, come back downstairs,” she instructed. “I’m rostered on until six if you need me.”
***
Heading back into the room was no less traumatic the second time, but at least I managed to do it without throwing up. I sat down next to Gabi’s bed and reached for her hand. She didn’t feel clammy any more – just warm.
While she was awake I’d tried desperately hard to keep conversation casual and calm. For some reason, I still worked at convincing her that things were okay. “What’s going on, Gabs?” I croaked.
I nodded. “Will you come with me, please?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, just give me a minute?”
Hannah smiled briefly. “Take as long as you need.”
She closed the door as she left. I hadn’t noticed her do that before. Perhaps she thought I didn’t need supervision any more.
I half-heartedly fussed with Jack’s blankets before gently brushing the back of my hand down his chubby cheek.
“I’ll be back soon,” I whispered. “Don’t go anywhere.”
18. CASUAL AND CALM
Hannah dutifully escorted me back to the ICU, just as she’d done the day before. We stepped into the elevator and the doors closed behind us. “She’s just going to look like she’s sleeping, right?” I asked.
I’d already seen the horrible machines they were monitoring her with. In my mind, there was nothing else they could inflict upon her poor body.
Hannah glanced across at me. “It’ll be a little different, Alex,” she quietly replied. “You just have to remember that she’s not in any pain, okay?”
I managed a stiff nod. I might’ve even pulled off a calm expression, but I was terrified to the point of nausea.
Moving slower than I’d ever done in my life, I walked from the doorway to Gabi’s bed.
It was naïve to think things couldn’t get worse. The leads on her chest were still in place, so was the cuff on her arm and the thing on her finger. I could deal with that. What I couldn’t deal with was the tube that had been forced down her throat. I asked Hannah what it was. If I’d been thinking clearly, I wouldn’t have needed an explanation.
“It’s a ventilator,” she replied solemnly. “It’s helping her breathe.”
“Do you think she’s going to get better?” I hoarsely whispered.
“She’s a fighter, Alex,” she replied. “Gabi likes a good fight. Remember when Flynn cut back the bougainvillea on the fence line? I thought she was going to knock him out.”
I huffed out a strange noise that could almost have passed as a laugh. “She wanted to,” I shakily confirmed. “I held her back with custard.”
“You know she’ll fight,” she encouraged. “You just have to be strong too.”
I wondered if I could do it, and quickly realised I couldn’t. A scorching wave of heat washed through my whole body. “Hannah,” I mumbled. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
I got as far as the corridor, put my hands to my knees and doubled over.
Hannah was right behind me. When she thrust a plastic basin under my chin I threw up for the first time in years. I heaved and I sobbed. Then I apologised and heaved some more.
“Vomit doesn’t bother me, Alex,” she reassured. “I’ve seen worse.”
It bothered me but I didn’t have a whole lot of humility left at that point.
After a long few minutes, another nurse appeared. She handed me a warm washcloth. In return, Hannah gave her a bowl of vomit. She slipped away without saying a word. I couldn’t even find the strength to thank her.
“You don’t have to go back in there if you don’t want to,” said Hannah.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “I’m okay now.”
“Is there anything you need me to do?” she asked.
I glanced across at her. “Just look after Jack.”
“I like that name.” She smiled. “Anything else?”
I shook my head. “No.”
She put her hand on my upper arm. “If it gets too much, come back downstairs,” she instructed. “I’m rostered on until six if you need me.”
***
Heading back into the room was no less traumatic the second time, but at least I managed to do it without throwing up. I sat down next to Gabi’s bed and reached for her hand. She didn’t feel clammy any more – just warm.
While she was awake I’d tried desperately hard to keep conversation casual and calm. For some reason, I still worked at convincing her that things were okay. “What’s going on, Gabs?” I croaked.
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