Read Online Silent Voices by Gary McMahon - Free Book Online Page A

cheeks, and the once-knife-sharp bone structure still visible through her sagging face. Her hair needed dyeing again; the roots were showing.
    “Do you think he has remembered? That might be what he wants to talk to you about. I bet he’s spent a fortune on posh psychiatrists and dug up the memories of what happened that weekend, and he wants to throw it all in your face, have his Jeremy Kyle moment in the spotlight.” The bitterness behind her words was astonishing. Brendan hadn’t realised she hated Simon Ridley this much.
    “I doubt it,” he said, lowering his head so that she couldn’t look into his eyes and see the hurt there. “I think he might be planning to renovate the bastard, turn it into apartments or something.” He looked up.
    Jane grinned. “Ha! Right. Like anyone would buy a nice apartment in the middle of the Grove. He’s not that stupid – he can’t be if he’s made his fortune down south.” She shook her head and took another mouthful of beer. “So, are you going to meet him?” Her eyes were hard again. The smile had vanished.
    “I thought I should. If only to hear what he has to say. I’ll let him buy me a beer and talk out of his arse for a while, and then I’ll go to work and forget about it.” He wondered if she could tell that he was lying. Jane knew him better than anyone – even better than he knew himself. She’d been finishing his thoughts and ending his sentences since they’d first got together. So, yes, she knew that he was lying. Of course she did.
    “Just be careful.” She touched his hand again, but this time tenderly. “Don’t let him push you too hard, or talk you into anything you don’t want to do.”
    Brendan flipped over his hand on the breakfast bar so that it was palm-up, and then he held her fingers. “We’re not ten years old anymore, pet. I’m an adult. I can’t be talked into anything against my will.”
    “Only by me,” she said, smiling again.
    “Only by you,” he agreed, squeezing, squeezing, and wishing that he never had to let go.
    “Listen, I have to finish putting this shopping away, and then it’ll be time to pick up the twins.” Jane stood, gulped down the last of her beer, and put the glass in the sink.
    “Do you want me to go for them? I don’t mind.”
    She turned to him, the sunlight catching in her dyed hair. “No, it’s okay. You didn’t sleep much this morning, did you?”
    He shook his head.
    “I’ll go. You have a shower and put on your good jeans. We don’t want Simon-bastard-Ridley thinking we’re a couple of scruffs now, do we?” She turned away quickly, but still he saw the smile drop away from her face; and the way her eyes went distant, as if she were staring inward, at a place that he could never go to, no matter how close they were as a couple or how much love they shared. It was a place that she kept secret; somewhere she went when she needed to, her own private store of memories that she would never open up to let him see.
    Brendan stood and left the room, leaving her there with her face to the wall as she rearranged the food in the cupboard. He knew that he should go to her, turn her around, and hug her, perhaps even tell her that he loved her and he always would. But there was something in the way: Simon, and all the things he represented. He’d never been a man who could talk freely about his feelings, and right now that reticence was worse than ever. There was so much he could have said – should have said – but none of it would come. He kept it all inside.
    He went upstairs and undressed in the bathroom. His body ached. He felt older than his years. Staring at himself in the mirror, he saw a small man with too much loose flesh around his middle; a beer belly hanging down over his waist. Thin arms. Pale skin. Thinning hair, pale as straw. When he’d looked at Simon earlier that day, he’d seen a man who spent a lot of time in the gym, dressed in expensive clothes, and ate good food. The two of