Read Online Silent Scream by Maria Rachel Hooley, Stephen Moeller - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Maria Rachel Hooley, Stephen Moeller
Tags: Romance, Literature & Fiction, Contemporary, Health; Fitness & Dieting, Contemporary Fiction, Love & Romance, Relationships, Death & Grief
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even if they caught the man who’d done this, she knew she’d still looking over her shoulder—maybe not for him, but for all the others like him.
Closing her eyes, Maddie pretended to fall asleep. She forced her breathing to an easy pace and a feigned a contentment she’d not known since this hell had begun. The nightmares–God, they were awful. She had yet to sleep without them, and even the drugs couldn’t drive them away. They writhed about in her mind, strangling it with images of him, images of what she’d gone through, and of what she could never have believed were possible.
“It’s good you fell asleep,” Yolanda whispered. “You need your rest, Maddie.” Maddie could feel her tucking the afghan around her body. “I wish I could help more. You’ll never know how sorry I am.”
Maddie could feel tears welling behind her closed eyelids, and she wanted to throw her arms around Yolanda and wallow in a motherly embrace her own mother had never given. Maddie was a successful product of human sexuality, one of the expected aspects of marriage and an important aspect of life. Unfortunately, her father had not warmed to this aspect of life and had abruptly asked for a divorce before Maddie had turned even a year old. After her father’s departure, Maddie had been a dutiful child, the medical school prodigy who had gained her mother’s approval with grades and achievements until she had died four years ago of ovarian cancer.
Her mother’s hatred of Maddie’s father had tried to sharply focus Maddie’s negative feelings about men. Maddie had only wanted to please her mother; she’d never fallen in love, never had the time or desire or whatever else it was that might have sparked such a drive. And now she wasn’t so sure it was a choice. This habit had only been reinforced by that rapist. She’d never felt so violated, so dirty, so helpless.
The gentle hands stopped tucking her in, and Yolanda walked away. Maddie knew this by the sound of the floor creaking under Yolanda’s weight and the sound of her retreating footsteps. And when she was sure she was alone, Maddie opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. It was then the tears came, silent and hot as they streamed down her face. Always before, she’d wiped them away, but not this time. Somewhere deep inside, Maddie ached. Her body trembled, but she forced the sobs deep inside where no one would hear them.
Maybe if she spent enough tears, the pain would lessen and eventually subside, leaving Maddie to go on with her life. There had to be a point at which enough would be enough, didn’t there? But her body seemed overwhelmed with them, and the streams never waned. She forced herself to stop crying. “Don’t think about it,” she hissed. “There’s no point.”
Despite her will to keep her eyes open, they grew heavy, and her body resisted movement, as though she were back in her dentist’s office wearing a gas mask before he filled a cavity.
I don’t want to sleep, she thought. Sleep leads to dreams. Regardless of her wishes, however, unconsciousness claimed her and wrapped her for a time in its numbing blanket.
Chapter Seven
While Gabriel knew it made no sense to drive back to the scene of the accident, he couldn’t seem to help himself—and Donner had been no help at all, as usual. He’d slipped out the firehouse door and waited by Gabriel’s truck until the fireman had given in.
Thirty minutes later, he parked along the silent country road. As Gabriel got out and slammed the door closed behind him, he exhaled a flurry of steam. The temperature was holding at about 20 degrees. Luckily, no new precipitation had fallen in the last few days to muck up the road conditions. Dead grass crunched beneath his boots as he walked the area with the dog.
Lost in his own world, Gabriel tried to imagine Maddie’s ordeal. He had done
Closing her eyes, Maddie pretended to fall asleep. She forced her breathing to an easy pace and a feigned a contentment she’d not known since this hell had begun. The nightmares–God, they were awful. She had yet to sleep without them, and even the drugs couldn’t drive them away. They writhed about in her mind, strangling it with images of him, images of what she’d gone through, and of what she could never have believed were possible.
“It’s good you fell asleep,” Yolanda whispered. “You need your rest, Maddie.” Maddie could feel her tucking the afghan around her body. “I wish I could help more. You’ll never know how sorry I am.”
Maddie could feel tears welling behind her closed eyelids, and she wanted to throw her arms around Yolanda and wallow in a motherly embrace her own mother had never given. Maddie was a successful product of human sexuality, one of the expected aspects of marriage and an important aspect of life. Unfortunately, her father had not warmed to this aspect of life and had abruptly asked for a divorce before Maddie had turned even a year old. After her father’s departure, Maddie had been a dutiful child, the medical school prodigy who had gained her mother’s approval with grades and achievements until she had died four years ago of ovarian cancer.
Her mother’s hatred of Maddie’s father had tried to sharply focus Maddie’s negative feelings about men. Maddie had only wanted to please her mother; she’d never fallen in love, never had the time or desire or whatever else it was that might have sparked such a drive. And now she wasn’t so sure it was a choice. This habit had only been reinforced by that rapist. She’d never felt so violated, so dirty, so helpless.
The gentle hands stopped tucking her in, and Yolanda walked away. Maddie knew this by the sound of the floor creaking under Yolanda’s weight and the sound of her retreating footsteps. And when she was sure she was alone, Maddie opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. It was then the tears came, silent and hot as they streamed down her face. Always before, she’d wiped them away, but not this time. Somewhere deep inside, Maddie ached. Her body trembled, but she forced the sobs deep inside where no one would hear them.
Maybe if she spent enough tears, the pain would lessen and eventually subside, leaving Maddie to go on with her life. There had to be a point at which enough would be enough, didn’t there? But her body seemed overwhelmed with them, and the streams never waned. She forced herself to stop crying. “Don’t think about it,” she hissed. “There’s no point.”
Despite her will to keep her eyes open, they grew heavy, and her body resisted movement, as though she were back in her dentist’s office wearing a gas mask before he filled a cavity.
I don’t want to sleep, she thought. Sleep leads to dreams. Regardless of her wishes, however, unconsciousness claimed her and wrapped her for a time in its numbing blanket.
Chapter Seven
While Gabriel knew it made no sense to drive back to the scene of the accident, he couldn’t seem to help himself—and Donner had been no help at all, as usual. He’d slipped out the firehouse door and waited by Gabriel’s truck until the fireman had given in.
Thirty minutes later, he parked along the silent country road. As Gabriel got out and slammed the door closed behind him, he exhaled a flurry of steam. The temperature was holding at about 20 degrees. Luckily, no new precipitation had fallen in the last few days to muck up the road conditions. Dead grass crunched beneath his boots as he walked the area with the dog.
Lost in his own world, Gabriel tried to imagine Maddie’s ordeal. He had done
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