Read Online Silencing Joy by Amy Rachiele - Free Book Online Page B

and stayed back
who-knew-how-many times. The rumors buzzed that he was in a gang
with Tommy and other druggies. He was really good looking,
though...almost pretty. Sandy-colored hair, tall, and a serious
“don't mess with me” attitude.
    In spite of all the rumors about Derek that floated
through the school, he was never anything other than nice to her.
Every day he would talk with her before class or make funny
comments during classwork. She barely made eye contact with him.
She was just too embarrassed around him.
    Kara's hands shook every time he talked to her. A
couple of times, she saw him in the hallway, but she would turn the
other way or duck into a classroom.
    One day in September during study hall, she was
actually having a little daydream about him. Nothing that would
make her blush, just sweet dreams of having him as a boyfriend. She
wondered where he'd take her, what they would talk about, would he
kiss her goodnight? Kara was lost in her thoughts and suddenly
Derek was standing in front of the room talking to the study hall
monitor. They both looked over at her. Derek smiled at her. The
monitor called her name.
    “ Kara Matthews?”
    She stood without thinking and picked up her books.
She walked to the monitor and took the little piece of paper he
held out.
    “ The office needs to see you.”
    Kara started for the door and could feel Derek
walking right behind her. She was hyperaware of Derek’s presence.
She seemed to sense him whenever he was around.
    When they got outside into the hallway, Derek touched
her elbow to get her attention.
    “ Kara?”
    Slowly, she turned towards him. She saw something
unexpected in his eyes. No one ever looked at her like that. He
gazed at her like he wanted to gobble her up. Kara had observed
this look guys sometimes got before, but she was never the
recipient. It was always someone else. Kara did a lot of people
watching.
    “ Kara, I wanted to talk to you.” Derek
said.
    “ Why?” she asks.
    He pauses, not able to come up with an immediate
answer.
    “ Umm... I just...I thought...maybe...we could hang
out or something.”
*****
Joy:
    In the morning, I got up; ready to face the
crazy, scary new world I was living in. I decided I had to just
suck it up. I had to become one with the uncomfortable
newness of living in the middle of nowhere without Jen or school.
At the very least, I had my camera, and I was staying in a place
that I could take pictures of for many years to come.
    I showered. The water was warm, and I melted
into it. I washed my hair and brushed my teeth all with renewed
purpose. I put on some jeans and a long sleeve shirt because it was
a cool morning. I dried my hair with the government issued hair
dryer, courtesy of the government.
    Will came in the bathroom.
    “Hey! What if I wasn’t dressed!?” I
reprimanded over the hum of the dryer.
    Will didn’t say anything, but he had a weird
look on his face. His eyes were open wide, and he got in my face
with childish impoliteness.
    “Staring contest,” he deadpanned. He stared
goofily straight into my eyes and tried to hold my gaze. Of course,
I looked away.
    “You lose!” he shouted victoriously.
“Swimming lessons are after lunch.”
    “No way! There were no guidelines or rules.
AND we did not determine what I win!” I clicked off the hair dryer.
“That is cheating, Mr. Harrison.”
    “That’s not cheating,” he dismissed me.
“Staring is staring. I was staring and you looked away, case
closed.”
    “I was not prepared, nor was I notified that
such contest was to take place at this moment. An appointed time
and proper preparation was needed. I believe that any judge in the
United States would rule in my favor. You cheated.”
    I brushed my long hair with a brush I brought
from home, even though there were plenty of brushes supplied by the
government to pick from. All of the drawers were stock full of
supplies.
    “That is a severe accusation, Ms. Tilden. I
believe that I overrule you.”
    I