Read Online Silence Of The Hams by Jill Churchill - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jill Churchill
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newspapers. Conrad would flip. He won’t even allow that little local rag in the house because he didn’t want her to know about the zoning battle.”
A perky waitress came and took their orders. When she’d gone, Shelley said hesitantly, picking her words with care, “I’m a little surprised at the change in Sarah. I remember her in high school as very outgoing, bubbly—“
“—and I was the shy, nerdy one,“ Grace said.
“Not nerdy, but shy—yes. It’s like you’ve changed roles. What happened?“
“With me, it’s simple and not very interesting. I married a jerk and finally got up the courage to divorce him. I’d taken all those bookkeeping classes in school and found out that I was pretty good at numbers and could earn my own living. Once I’d done that, it was like a great revelation that I could control my life! Funny how some of us have to be slapped upside the head with something traumatic to understand that, while others—“
“Like Sarah—“ Shelley prompted.
Grace nodded. “Of course, Sarah’s trauma was so much worse than mine.“
“I don’t mean to pry,“ Shelley said, “but I have no idea what you mean by that.“
“You don’t know? Really?“ Grace asked. “I’d have thought the old school grapevine reached everybody.”
Shelley shook her head.
“You haven’t heard about the baby?“
“I heard they lost a child, but I didn’t know if it was a miscarriage or what and I wasn’t sure it was true.”
The waitress brought their salads and Grace picked at hers. “They had a child with severe brain damage. Extremely severe. Unable to survive without a hideous array of machines. Constant convulsions. It was unbelievably awful. Sarah had been trying to get pregnant for years, desperately wanted the child, had a devastating delivery that made it impossible for her to have more children. In spite of that, and because she believed the child was suffering horribly, Sarah wanted the life support removed. The hospital agreed. Unofficially, of course. But they couldn’t allow it without a court order. Sarah never left the baby’s side. The hospital had to put a guard on her to make certain they couldn’t be accused of having benignly ignored the possibility that she might turn off the machines. So she never even had any private moments with the baby.“
“How awful for her,“ Jane said, knowing ordinary words couldn’t begin to express what it must have been like for the grieving mother.
The waitress arrived with their pizza and the subject was dropped while they divided it up and sampled it. Finally, after eating only one slice, Grace continued. “They had to go to court to get an order to disconnect the machines. But the judge refused to agree. The baby lived another month.“
“I’m sorry,“ Shelley said, handing Grace a packet of tissues from her purse. “I had no business asking about this and upsetting you more.”
Grace mopped her eyes and blew her nose. “No, it’s okay. I haven’t talked about it in years and I need to every once in a while. It sort of builds up inside and needs to be let out. I had to quit my job to go stay with Sarah for that last month. When the baby finally died, I thought it might be the beginning of Sarah’s healing, but she went completely to pieces. She was almost catatonic. When she finally came around, she was a completely different person. Shy, withdrawn, nervous, afraid of everything. It was like losing her, too. She wasn’t Sarah anymore.“
“What a loss for you, too,“ Jane said. “Is she your only sibling?”
Grace nodded. “And as strange as it seemed to others that the bubbly cheerleader and the bespectacled nerd sister got along, we were always very close until then. Anyhow, she was released from the hospital and she and Conrad took off roaming around. I guess you’ve heard they cooked for logging camps.”
Shelley nodded. “Your grandmother told my mother that.“
“All over the west—Oregon and
A perky waitress came and took their orders. When she’d gone, Shelley said hesitantly, picking her words with care, “I’m a little surprised at the change in Sarah. I remember her in high school as very outgoing, bubbly—“
“—and I was the shy, nerdy one,“ Grace said.
“Not nerdy, but shy—yes. It’s like you’ve changed roles. What happened?“
“With me, it’s simple and not very interesting. I married a jerk and finally got up the courage to divorce him. I’d taken all those bookkeeping classes in school and found out that I was pretty good at numbers and could earn my own living. Once I’d done that, it was like a great revelation that I could control my life! Funny how some of us have to be slapped upside the head with something traumatic to understand that, while others—“
“Like Sarah—“ Shelley prompted.
Grace nodded. “Of course, Sarah’s trauma was so much worse than mine.“
“I don’t mean to pry,“ Shelley said, “but I have no idea what you mean by that.“
“You don’t know? Really?“ Grace asked. “I’d have thought the old school grapevine reached everybody.”
Shelley shook her head.
“You haven’t heard about the baby?“
“I heard they lost a child, but I didn’t know if it was a miscarriage or what and I wasn’t sure it was true.”
The waitress brought their salads and Grace picked at hers. “They had a child with severe brain damage. Extremely severe. Unable to survive without a hideous array of machines. Constant convulsions. It was unbelievably awful. Sarah had been trying to get pregnant for years, desperately wanted the child, had a devastating delivery that made it impossible for her to have more children. In spite of that, and because she believed the child was suffering horribly, Sarah wanted the life support removed. The hospital agreed. Unofficially, of course. But they couldn’t allow it without a court order. Sarah never left the baby’s side. The hospital had to put a guard on her to make certain they couldn’t be accused of having benignly ignored the possibility that she might turn off the machines. So she never even had any private moments with the baby.“
“How awful for her,“ Jane said, knowing ordinary words couldn’t begin to express what it must have been like for the grieving mother.
The waitress arrived with their pizza and the subject was dropped while they divided it up and sampled it. Finally, after eating only one slice, Grace continued. “They had to go to court to get an order to disconnect the machines. But the judge refused to agree. The baby lived another month.“
“I’m sorry,“ Shelley said, handing Grace a packet of tissues from her purse. “I had no business asking about this and upsetting you more.”
Grace mopped her eyes and blew her nose. “No, it’s okay. I haven’t talked about it in years and I need to every once in a while. It sort of builds up inside and needs to be let out. I had to quit my job to go stay with Sarah for that last month. When the baby finally died, I thought it might be the beginning of Sarah’s healing, but she went completely to pieces. She was almost catatonic. When she finally came around, she was a completely different person. Shy, withdrawn, nervous, afraid of everything. It was like losing her, too. She wasn’t Sarah anymore.“
“What a loss for you, too,“ Jane said. “Is she your only sibling?”
Grace nodded. “And as strange as it seemed to others that the bubbly cheerleader and the bespectacled nerd sister got along, we were always very close until then. Anyhow, she was released from the hospital and she and Conrad took off roaming around. I guess you’ve heard they cooked for logging camps.”
Shelley nodded. “Your grandmother told my mother that.“
“All over the west—Oregon and
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