through, nor up at the shadowed
rafters of the great hall. Even as I walked through it, the castle
was fading from my memory.
The cold mountain air swirled around my feet
and I shivered and hunched my shoulders as I came back into the
entryway, back to the chaos of the preparations. I had been
absorbed in my own thoughts, but when I reached the great doorway,
I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. I slid into a doorway
and lingered in the shadows.
Miriel and the Lady stood framed in the
light from the courtyard, the torchlight gilding Miriel’s black
curls, making the Lady’s hair gleam like liquid gold. The Lady bent
down, her hands on Miriel’s shoulders, and spoke urgently. What she
said was for Miriel’s ears alone, for there was no way to hear her
over the clamor of the courtyard; I could only see the profile of
Miriel’s solemn face.
As they stood together in the center of the
great doorway, the flow of servants back and forth from the caravan
parted around them like a rock in a stream. It seemed almost as if
no one saw them standing there at all.
I thought later that I was one of the only
ones who saw them taken from each other. It was the Duke who broke
through the stream of servants and took Miriel by the arm, issuing
a curt order to her. She looked at him for a moment as if she would
measure her will against his, but dropped her head back down and
dropped into a curtsy to her mother, her back straight.
At the moment of leaving, I saw the Lady
give a little gasp. She was speaking quickly, putting a hand out to
touch his arm, but he was insistent, and Miriel gave a little
half-hearted smile, a one-armed embrace before leaving as quietly
as a mute. She looked like Old Clara, I thought, the maid whose
mind had fled her, who stared at nothing and sometimes muttered to
herself; Miriel’s eyes were as blank, her manner as distracted. I
did not think she heard the words her uncle was saying in her ear
as he led her to a little pony.
She looked backwards only once, a long look
over her shoulder at her mother, standing alone in the great
doorway, even her slender height dwarfed, the bright blue of her
gown muted in the torchlight. Miriel gazed into her mother’s eyes,
and what they shared, I could not know; I thought of what it would
be like to leave Roine standing there as I began a journey, and my
throat closed. I put my head down as I fought through the crowd,
and did not answer Roine’s question as to where I had been.
Our cart lurched forward, and I took a last
look around me. On the wall, a lone figure in a black cloak raised
his hand, and I pushed myself up on the crates, balancing
precariously to wave back. I wondered if Aler was smiling, to think
of what he would always say to me: “Get down, little cat, you’ll
break your neck!” I was smiling, but the smile did not come out
quite right; I could feel tears running down my face as well. I
ducked as we went under the archway, and as the cart rolled away
down the hill, I sat back and looked up at the castle, like a
little toy, candles flickering against the pre-dawn blue.
On a clear day, we could have seen the
beauty of the mountains stretching away, and the plains, green and
warm; in the dark, there was nothing to see at all, and so we wound
down the mountainside without looking out, the mules stepping as
daintily as they could, the carters cursing the thin mountain
road.
The sky was growing pale as we reached the
village, and the townsfolk stopped their chores and turned out to
watch us as we rode through. They were neither friendly nor
unfriendly, but watched us like we were the fae folk from the
eastern fairy tales, not quite real, not quite of their world.
My blood chilled as I looked around at the
place. Since Roine had carried my infant self back up to the
castle, I had never returned to the village. And yet, I knew it
perfectly. The dream I had had, all those months ago, was still so
crystal clear that I could remember every moment of
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