Read Online Sex Kittens and Horn Dawgs Fall in Love by Maryrose Wood - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Maryrose Wood
Tags: Fiction
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love, multiple choice does not cut it.
Also, we concede that the Kittens and Dawgs, much as we worship them, have disappointingly little useful data to offer about love. To wit:
Jacob: The L-train girl. ’Nuff said.
Trip: Sees a girl, falls in love. Five minutes later the feeling’s gone and he’s on to the next girl. He has no explanation for this and suspects it’s related to his ADD. (“But you can get into a LOT of trouble in five minutes!” he chortled.)
The Randall-Loves-Me Thing:
Sacre bleu!
Too much for my Kittenbrain to process, not to mention this is the last thing I want to sit here discussing with Matthew! Both of us have tactfully neglected to bring it up.
(By the way, Randall turned in a completely bogus questionnaire, filled with insightful responses like “No comment” and “I don’t know.” However, in the part where we ask for suggestions of other people to interview, he put down that we should meet with his sensei— that’s his martial arts instructor. Matthew and I agree that this sounds intriguing. So now, in addition to our parents, the Miscellaneous Adults list includes Randall’s sensei, Mr. Frasconi, and Miss Dervish Greenstream, sitar teacher to the stars.)
Jess: She hung out with a boy from her synagogue briefly last year, but it was mostly a by-product of the peace rally she was organizing. Once the posters were finished they didn’t have much in common. She also admitted to warm feelings of admiration for Gandhi and a true schoolgirl crush on Mr. Rochester, that brooding, tormented stud-muffin from
Jane Eyre,
but Gandhi is dead and Mr. Rochester is fictional, so that’s not too helpful.
Kat: As expected, Kat claimed to steer clear of Dawg action, because of her music-mindedness and also because her dad has no intention of allowing her to date till she’s like, thirty. However, after much flirtatious prodding from Trip she confided that there’s some weird vibe going on with her new accompanist, Dmitri, a gross old guy who is giving her the creeps. More news as it develops!
And don’t forget Matthew and his pal, his pardner, his ol’ buddy, me. Felicia. Insert a Sigh of Unbearable Frustration HERE.
And that is the Moonbeam roundup. We are hoping our interviews with the grownups will provide juicier material. Without some specifics it’s going to be hard to design our experiments, which Matthew says is our next task.
“Based on your observations, you might notice, say, that plants seem to need light to grow. That’s your hypothesis. But now you have to prove it. So you design an experiment where one plant is in the light and one plant is in the dark, and you chart their growth, keeping all other variables the same, and soon you have lots and lots of data! And that’s doing science!” Matthew is never so happy as when he’s explaining something tedious like this to me. But I don’t mind. I watch the way his lips move over his teeth as he talks. I wonder if he’s more of a wet kisser or a dry one? I wonder if he’s ever kissed anybody who wasn’t a rabbit? Would that I could find out!
Matthew goes to pay for our chais at the cash register, leaving me alone for some private pondering. It’s pretty easy to see when X is in the room, but what the
borscht
is it? Some thoughts:
I can see that Trip definitely gives off X, but not the kind that would work on me, for instance.
And it’s obvious that Kat has the kind of X that works on many Dawgs, like Trip, for example, but if it only lasts five minutes then it’s not really X, is it?
And, okay. This business about ME having X, except it’s only visible to Randall’s bespectacled eyes? That makes no sense. How could I give off X for Randall but not for Matthew, when Matthew is the Dawg of Dawgs, my soul mate of soul mates?
Earlier, after we left Gram (through the gate this time, moseying out after the cell phone/trenchcoat/businessman guy with a key, who gave us quite the dirty look) and the Kittens and Dawgs
Also, we concede that the Kittens and Dawgs, much as we worship them, have disappointingly little useful data to offer about love. To wit:
Jacob: The L-train girl. ’Nuff said.
Trip: Sees a girl, falls in love. Five minutes later the feeling’s gone and he’s on to the next girl. He has no explanation for this and suspects it’s related to his ADD. (“But you can get into a LOT of trouble in five minutes!” he chortled.)
The Randall-Loves-Me Thing:
Sacre bleu!
Too much for my Kittenbrain to process, not to mention this is the last thing I want to sit here discussing with Matthew! Both of us have tactfully neglected to bring it up.
(By the way, Randall turned in a completely bogus questionnaire, filled with insightful responses like “No comment” and “I don’t know.” However, in the part where we ask for suggestions of other people to interview, he put down that we should meet with his sensei— that’s his martial arts instructor. Matthew and I agree that this sounds intriguing. So now, in addition to our parents, the Miscellaneous Adults list includes Randall’s sensei, Mr. Frasconi, and Miss Dervish Greenstream, sitar teacher to the stars.)
Jess: She hung out with a boy from her synagogue briefly last year, but it was mostly a by-product of the peace rally she was organizing. Once the posters were finished they didn’t have much in common. She also admitted to warm feelings of admiration for Gandhi and a true schoolgirl crush on Mr. Rochester, that brooding, tormented stud-muffin from
Jane Eyre,
but Gandhi is dead and Mr. Rochester is fictional, so that’s not too helpful.
Kat: As expected, Kat claimed to steer clear of Dawg action, because of her music-mindedness and also because her dad has no intention of allowing her to date till she’s like, thirty. However, after much flirtatious prodding from Trip she confided that there’s some weird vibe going on with her new accompanist, Dmitri, a gross old guy who is giving her the creeps. More news as it develops!
And don’t forget Matthew and his pal, his pardner, his ol’ buddy, me. Felicia. Insert a Sigh of Unbearable Frustration HERE.
And that is the Moonbeam roundup. We are hoping our interviews with the grownups will provide juicier material. Without some specifics it’s going to be hard to design our experiments, which Matthew says is our next task.
“Based on your observations, you might notice, say, that plants seem to need light to grow. That’s your hypothesis. But now you have to prove it. So you design an experiment where one plant is in the light and one plant is in the dark, and you chart their growth, keeping all other variables the same, and soon you have lots and lots of data! And that’s doing science!” Matthew is never so happy as when he’s explaining something tedious like this to me. But I don’t mind. I watch the way his lips move over his teeth as he talks. I wonder if he’s more of a wet kisser or a dry one? I wonder if he’s ever kissed anybody who wasn’t a rabbit? Would that I could find out!
Matthew goes to pay for our chais at the cash register, leaving me alone for some private pondering. It’s pretty easy to see when X is in the room, but what the
borscht
is it? Some thoughts:
I can see that Trip definitely gives off X, but not the kind that would work on me, for instance.
And it’s obvious that Kat has the kind of X that works on many Dawgs, like Trip, for example, but if it only lasts five minutes then it’s not really X, is it?
And, okay. This business about ME having X, except it’s only visible to Randall’s bespectacled eyes? That makes no sense. How could I give off X for Randall but not for Matthew, when Matthew is the Dawg of Dawgs, my soul mate of soul mates?
Earlier, after we left Gram (through the gate this time, moseying out after the cell phone/trenchcoat/businessman guy with a key, who gave us quite the dirty look) and the Kittens and Dawgs
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