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could win an election. With the election won, we could declare Vita-Lerp illegal and move out with our odorometers to jail everything but koala bears that smelled of eucalyptus. For the record, gentlemen, we have found Lothario X, and he has demonstrated his prowess by playing the cock to one of Mother Carey’s chickens.” Astonishment showed on the faces of his listeners as the admiral continued. “Gentlemen, that man is Chief Water Tender McCormick of the USS Chattahoochee .”
    There was applause for the chief who reddened at the outburst.
    “So, gentlemen.” the admiral continued, “the militant has successfully completed the first phase of Operation Chicken Pluck. Winning the election, the second phase, is now a matter for our statesmen.” The admiral sat down.
    “Gentlemen,” the President said, “the admiral is commended. He has given us the man, and by ‘us’ I mean Senator Dubois and me. Senator, as a representative of the people and as Republican majority leader, are you willing to support us in November?”
    Senator Dubois did not stand. He merely straightened in his seat, but the aura of wisdom and age around him claimed Hansen’s full attention. “Mr. President, gentlemen,” he said. “I have misgivings about any plan which attempts to overcome hostilities accumulated against us since the first arboreal creature swung down from the trees, lifted his knuckles from the ground, proclaimed himself man, turned, and cuffed his mate. I fear we are boarding a dreamboat to purgatory, and the next voice you hear will be the voice of God, saying, ‘ Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin .’ Of all who have prophesied the way the world will end, there was the poet T. S. Eliot. Gentlemen, he called the shot!”
    A titter, which Hansen did not understand, rustled through the room. He made a note on his pad. “Check with Helga. World’s end. T. S. Eliot.”
    When the laughter died, the Senator resumed. “We have rolled our point, and snake eyes stare us in the face. The merry-go-round’s run down, little children. Plan? Let us plan for this Armageddon when we are already its veterans and its victims, for the tactics to defeat our tactics were extant before the struggle started, and all that we have left, gentlemen, are the cold stars and the priesthood. Support you? Indeed! Against their panzer divisions I’ll hurl the cavalry of Hannibal. There’s no use saving the elephants, boys, for Carthage shall not rise again.”
    Suddenly he dropped the oratory and swept the assembly with eyes which seemed to pierce each man, individually, and his tone grew low and harsh. “In the parlance of our Navy friends, I’ll never give up the ship—until that moment comes when I can arise and address you all as ‘Brother Rats.’ Then, I warn you, gentlemen, I am the pluperfectest swimmer in the rodent kingdom, and the last sound your drowning ears shall hear will be squeals of delight from Honeysuckle Dubois, the last manchild on the merry-go-round.”
    Hansen thrilled to the senator’s speech, although he had only a vague idea what the senator meant. To President Habersham, however, accustomed to political discourse, the senator’s words brought umbrage into his voice as he said, “Mr. Majority Leader, you can rest assured the Democrats will keep their promises, but remember you have a Republican majority on the nominating committee.”
    “What do you think the female tactics would be?” the admiral asked the senator.
    “Political counterattack with our weapons.”
    “But, Senator,” the Defense Secretary interjected, “their only logical Presidential candidate is Dr. Carey herself, and she’s flat-chested.”
    “She’ll have a Vice Presidential running mate,” the senator said.
    “That’s a possibility,” the President interposed, speaking to the senator, “but with you running for Vice President, what we lose to the breast vote among men should be offset by the little old ladies with tennis