Serving Celebrities: The Complete Collection

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Authors: Bill Ryan
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humor, second thing to go is their old boyfriend -- who is now just their friend), I ended up throwing it away (sorry, Bono).
    When they left for Dublin, Allie gave me a big hug and a peck on the cheek. It was kind of sad watching them all leave. Bono shook my hand and gave me one of those ‘bro hugs.’ Off they went on their little rock and roll adventures. Yes, I came around and I do respect Bono as a musician and as a man. The next time they came to town with Zootropa, I got to go to their show and I had a great time. I’ve been to many more U2 shows and they’ve never disappointed and at this point in my life, I couldn’t be disappointed with anything that Bono does… except if it involves mistreating Allie. There’s being lucky to be a rock star and then there’s being real lucky… finding the right person. Of course, every time I read what their albums and tours make I have to admit that there must be something more than just luck.
    Glenn Close, She’s Mine

    A nyone who has ever worked in a service job knows that there is a secret “hot” chick” rule (sometimes it’s also a “cool guy” rule). That rule is that a “hot chick/cool guy” has no rules for them. The reasons can be from anything like, “He’s good with the customers,” to, “Hey, look at her… do you need me to say why she gets the shifts wants.” A lot of times it’s not the fault of the “hot/cool” person, it’s usually the fault of the management who believe if they have “hot/cool” people working for them they will get a “hot/cool” clientele. Usually what they get is poor service with a “hot/cool” smile.
    I once worked for a very smart restaurant owner who had been around for years and knew that if he hired the “hot/cool” waiter that the waiter would eventually get bored or lured somewhere else and he would have to start all over again (he called them bimb-aitresses and bimb-aiters ). He would say to me, “We’re hiring only ugly people. Find me ugly men and really ugly women; they’re the only ones I can trust to do the job well. If they are not ugly, they’re not gonna care. That’s why you’ll always have a job with me, Bill.” I think that was supposed to be comforting.
    I worked with a woman named Sandy at the Sunset Marquis. Sandy was about twenty-one, was in Los Angeles to be an actress and this was her way to meet connections in the film business -- just like the rest of us. Sandy was really dangerous because she the “hot chick,” who knew she was the “hot chick” and felt she deserved everything she got from it. I worked with many other women in the same job and they didn’t expect, or want the “Hot Chick” treatment, but Sandy did.
    There was no sense in going to the weak management at this hotel, since everyone knew they would fold like one of the patio chairs by the pool. For one thing the Food and Beverage Manager had a hard time forming sentences when he was around Sandy. His scolding of her behavior went something like this, “Sandy, you know you can’t leave during your shift even if it is for an audition. We had a full patio for lunch.” Sandy knew she had him by the green-peas and she used it to her best advantage.
    When you worked with Sandy all bets were off. You would think some people would try to cooperate just to be polite but that wasn’t our Sandy. On the patio the waiters would take tables in turn rather than working stations, as in most restaurants. Not Sandy, she took who she wanted and left the tables that looked like foreigners (usually poor tippers), too small (more people, bigger tips) or obviously just a pain in the ass (many of the customers were staying in the hotel so we all became very familiar with the good and bad guests, some staying for months at a time). Sandy did like celebrities, especially good actors.
    This one morning was quite surreal on the patio; Sandy and I were serving breakfast. A gray cloud of smoke hung over LA from the wildfires in

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