Read Online Sellevision by Augusten Burroughs - Free Book Online Page B

I was thinking maybe”—he pulled a date out of thin air—“next Thursday. I’m taking Peggy Jean out for dinner, a surprise.”
    “Oh, how sweet and romantic,” Nikki said. “My parents never do anything romantic.”
    “So Thursday’s okay with you, then?”
    “Sure, Thursday is great.”
    John shoved his hands in his pockets. “Well, then it’s settled. Thanks a lot, Nikki. I’ll see you then, on Thursday.”
    “Sure thing, Mr. Smythe. And thanks for thinking of me.”
    If only you knew how much I think of you, he thought. “Don’t burn,” he warned with a smile.
    “I won’t,” she said.
    John waved, nodded his head, and returned to his own yard, his manhood pressed hard against the zipper on his jeans. Then he turned back. “Oh, and it was nice seeing you in church the other week.”
    Of course, the trick now was how to get rid of Peggy Jean on Thursday so that when Nikki arrived, he could say that something came up with his wife, and she didn’t have to baby-sit after all. Then maybe he could engage her in a little conversation, offer her a cookie or a glass of Pepsi, and hopefully be able to just talk to her a little.
    Inside, he rang his wife at work.
    “This is Peggy Jean Smythe,” she answered confidently on the first ring.
    “Hi, Peggy.”
    “Hello, darling, what a pleasant surprise. Is everything okay?” Then with a slightly worried edge in her voice, “Nothing’s happened to the boys, I hope?”
    John wiped his forehead with a quilted Bounty paper towel. “No, the boys are fine. They’re up in their rooms, doing some reading for Bible study.”
    “Oh, that’s wonderful. I’m so glad that they’re putting their little summer vacation to constructive, good use.”
    “Yeah, well anyway, are you working next Thursday night?”
    He heard the pages of her day planner turning. “It appears I’m off Thursday. Why, is there something you had in mind? Something special you’d like to do?” She smiled and twisted her wedding band around on her finger.
    “Well, I have to work Thursday night. We’ve got a client coming in and I promised the boys I’d take them to the movies, but since I can’t, I was wondering if you would.”
    Silence, then, “Oh.”
    “So can you?”
    “Well, John, I suppose I have no choice, do I?”
    “Great, thanks, hon, see you later.” He hung up the phone and bounded up the stairs. “Boys?” he called out.
    They appeared at their doorways.
    “Your mom’s taking you to the movies on Thursday night,” he announced, so happy he almost laughed.
    They exchanged curious glances at each other. “Why?” asked Ricky, the oldest.
    “What do you mean, ‘why’? Because she’s your mother and she loves you.”
    The three boys looked at him and then Ricky said, “Oh.”
    “Well, you boys get back to your studies. I just wanted to let you know the good news.”
    John walked into his office and turned on his computer. Sitting at his desk waiting for the computer to come to life, he thought of Nikki in her little bikini, all fragrant and moist. He opened the file drawer of his desk and under NONREIMBURSABLE BUSINESS EXPENSES removed the latest issue of Jane magazine. He thumbed through the pages until he found the article (with pictures) “Bikini Waxing Wisdom,” an article he had not been able to stop thinking about. After his computer was on, his thoughts drifted back to Nikki. “Christ, she’s just a kid,” he told himself as he logged on to America Online. Then he typed in an Internet address, http://www.preteentwat.com , and waited for the familiar images of nude young girls with moist lips to fill his computer screen.

    A
    fter hanging up with her husband, Peggy Jean made a note in her day planner about the movie. She also made a note reminding herself to make a personal and tax-deductible donation to the So Very Special Children Fund, as the show had moved her emotionally. She also realized that she could probably deduct the movie from her taxes,