Read Online Seeing Julia by Katherine Owen - Free Book Online Page A

I’ve opened up my arms as the runner sprints my way. “Evan!”
    Seconds later, I recognize the runner as Jim Hargrove from two doors down. In agonized disbelief, I watch him turn up from the path and take the stairs two at a time leading from the beach to his own palatial home. Despair follows me down into this momentary descent from reality, but only the wind can hear my cries. For once, I’m grateful for the Atlantic and its ability to mask all sound. I need it on this day, before anyone discovers how despondent I really am.
    Tears run down my face, only part wind-driven. Grief fills up all of me. I look to the north again. My arms ache. I will never hold him again. This staggering thought brings me to my knees and I collapse into the wet wintry sand. The fierceness of the approaching waves lull me into this sense of acceptance. Evan’s life is over. So is mine. Pain killers chased with a slew of chocolate martinis, and now, little white pills, or even thoughts of Jake Winston cannot stop grief’s latest assault.
    ≈ ≈

    “Julia!” Kimberley’s voice breaks through my numb state.
    It’s all been a bad nightmare. None of it’s true.
    I’m dragged to my feet, soaking wet and yanked back to reality. It’s all true.
    “God, what are you doing out here? I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You’re ice cold. Julia, look at me!”
    Glazed, I look at her; unseeing. “Kimmy?” I can’t keep my teeth from chattering.
    Kimberley grips my stiff hand and half-drags me back up the wooden stairs to the house. With reality revived, I stare at the home that used to be a haven and now serves as a constant reminder of Evan and all I’ve lost. “I can’t … stay here.”
    “I know. It’s just for a few days, until we figure things out.”
    Her sympathy propels me forward. A few days. I can handle a few days. Can’t I?
    Kimberley leads me inside, up the stairs, and down the long hallway. She pushes me under a hot shower, clothes and all, while I chase away the memories of Jake Winston doing this for me just days before. Tears mingle with the shower spray and I let them fall. Five minutes later, Kimberley strips off my clothes, wraps the towel around me, and pulls me back along the hallway.
    I stop midway. “I can’t. I can’t sleep there, Kimmy.” I point towards the double doors leading to the master bedroom where Evan and I slept only weeks before.
    “I know. We’re just getting you something to wear. We’ll sleep in the guest room.”
    With trepidation and a shared sense of urgency, we enter the master bedroom and head straight to the walk-in closet. Kimberley searches the drawers for clothes, while I try to control my trembling. The farthest hallway light serves as the only source of illumination into this dim tomb and I peer over at Kimberley, who tries to smile. But the furrow at the bridge of her nose reveals her own distress and she wipes at a tear. She tosses me an old t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. I catch them one-handed. “Thanks.”
    Through the darkened hallway, we make our way to the guest suite. Then, I hear Reid’s distinct cry from downstairs and look over at Kimmy. “Lianne’s got him,” she says.
    How does she know? How does she know my pain? She switches on the night stand lamp, turns down the bed, and pushes me into it. “I’m going to change. Then, I’ll be right back. Okay?” I crawl into the bed without answering. She brings the covers up to my neck and studies me. “I’ll be right back,” she says again.
    I close my eyes at her words. I’ll be right back; Evan’s last words reverberate through me. A tear escapes and makes a slow trail down my face. I open my eyes again and look at her.
    “Don’t turn the light out,” I say.
    “I won’t.”
    Minutes later, she crawls into bed next to me because that’s what my best friend does for me. She was the same way when Bobby died. In the semi-darkness, we face each other and hold hands. “Kimmy. Thank you.” She