families.” He stared out the window of his father’s office his mind going back to that terrible day. “We were at a combat outpost Kamdesh District, Nuristan Province, Afghanistan. That morning, Me, Keating, Marks, Arturo, Blanks and Todd awakened to an attack by a little over three hundred enemy fighters occupying the high ground on all four sides of the complex. They were using concentrated fire from recoilless rifles, and rocket propelled grenades, anti-aircraft machine guns, mortars and small arms fire. I moved uncovered under intense enemy fire to conduct a reconnaissance of the battlefield and seek reinforcements from the barracks before returning to action with my gunner, Todd. “
Mercer nodded his head, as he understood battle tactics, having been there himself.
“I took out an enemy with my machine gun and while engaging a second, the generator we were using for cover was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade, inflicting me and Todd with shrapnel wounds. He got the most of the shrapnel. His intestines were exposed and blood was squirting from his stomach like a water fountain. I was taking my lace off to tie the bleed off and he looked at me and said, “Be careful man I got HIV.” I froze Pop, I couldn’t move, I already couldn’t feel my leg. I backed away from him. I couldn’t let him touch me. I could hear him screaming for me to help him, begging and pleading. I decided if I got him help from someone else, he would still be okay.”
Mercer let out a sigh as he listened.
“So I kept fighting until I could get to where Keating was, I told him I needed him to go back with me to help Todd. His arm was already ripped to shreds and he couldn’t even defend himself. So I tied off his bleed. Since my leg wasn’t hurting anymore I thought things couldn’t be that bad, so I rushed through the exposed avenue to get some more guys. I was finally able to get to the post and mobilize a team to get Todd and Keating. I didn’t care what was going on with my leg. I still had a good hand to shoot with, so I was getting out there with my sniper rifle. I did whatever I had to do, including exposing myself to heavy enemy fire, as he moved back to first Keating and then toward Todd taking out the enemy targets, including three Taliban fighters who had breached the combat outpost perimeter. The Taliban had reinforcements that were closer by then we thought...” Jamie paused as if he’d mentally went back and was stuck there.
Mercer remained silent as he clenched his hands together and waited for more.
“…Then they unleashed a barrage of rocket-propelled grenades and recoilless rifle rounds. I communicated with air support to destroy over 30 enemy fighters. We provided cover fire, so they could get to Todd, Marks, Arturo, and Blanks. But it was too late Todd had bled to death out there, alone in the dirt and sand. Everyone else was no worse for the wear but Todd—Todd died. He left the majority of his blood volume out there. Because I didn’t tie off the damn bleed, because the guy had HIV. He was always there Pop! Whatever we needed, he was there for us. When I ran into the fire, so did he. He trusted me with his life. He didn’t have to tell me he had HIV, he could have waited, but even then in that moment, he was looking out for me. I killed him Pop, I killed him!”
Taking a deep breath Mercer thought long and hard about what to say next. After several minutes of listening to Jamie’s quiet sobs, he finally cleared his throat to speak, “War is the worst kind of hell a man can experience. You go in one man and come out another. No solider ever wants to admit they are afraid to lose their life on the battlefield. Now I’m not gonna pull any punches with you son, I never have. While what you did was not the best you could have done for your fellow Marine, it is human. Todd wanted you safe he didn’t want you to risk your life, for his. You do him a disservice by trying to take the brunt of the
Mercer nodded his head, as he understood battle tactics, having been there himself.
“I took out an enemy with my machine gun and while engaging a second, the generator we were using for cover was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade, inflicting me and Todd with shrapnel wounds. He got the most of the shrapnel. His intestines were exposed and blood was squirting from his stomach like a water fountain. I was taking my lace off to tie the bleed off and he looked at me and said, “Be careful man I got HIV.” I froze Pop, I couldn’t move, I already couldn’t feel my leg. I backed away from him. I couldn’t let him touch me. I could hear him screaming for me to help him, begging and pleading. I decided if I got him help from someone else, he would still be okay.”
Mercer let out a sigh as he listened.
“So I kept fighting until I could get to where Keating was, I told him I needed him to go back with me to help Todd. His arm was already ripped to shreds and he couldn’t even defend himself. So I tied off his bleed. Since my leg wasn’t hurting anymore I thought things couldn’t be that bad, so I rushed through the exposed avenue to get some more guys. I was finally able to get to the post and mobilize a team to get Todd and Keating. I didn’t care what was going on with my leg. I still had a good hand to shoot with, so I was getting out there with my sniper rifle. I did whatever I had to do, including exposing myself to heavy enemy fire, as he moved back to first Keating and then toward Todd taking out the enemy targets, including three Taliban fighters who had breached the combat outpost perimeter. The Taliban had reinforcements that were closer by then we thought...” Jamie paused as if he’d mentally went back and was stuck there.
Mercer remained silent as he clenched his hands together and waited for more.
“…Then they unleashed a barrage of rocket-propelled grenades and recoilless rifle rounds. I communicated with air support to destroy over 30 enemy fighters. We provided cover fire, so they could get to Todd, Marks, Arturo, and Blanks. But it was too late Todd had bled to death out there, alone in the dirt and sand. Everyone else was no worse for the wear but Todd—Todd died. He left the majority of his blood volume out there. Because I didn’t tie off the damn bleed, because the guy had HIV. He was always there Pop! Whatever we needed, he was there for us. When I ran into the fire, so did he. He trusted me with his life. He didn’t have to tell me he had HIV, he could have waited, but even then in that moment, he was looking out for me. I killed him Pop, I killed him!”
Taking a deep breath Mercer thought long and hard about what to say next. After several minutes of listening to Jamie’s quiet sobs, he finally cleared his throat to speak, “War is the worst kind of hell a man can experience. You go in one man and come out another. No solider ever wants to admit they are afraid to lose their life on the battlefield. Now I’m not gonna pull any punches with you son, I never have. While what you did was not the best you could have done for your fellow Marine, it is human. Todd wanted you safe he didn’t want you to risk your life, for his. You do him a disservice by trying to take the brunt of the
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