Read Online Sebastian - Dark Bonds by Janey Rosen - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Janey Rosen
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standing behind me now, his hands resting on my hips.
“But when will I wear this? It’s so … so over the top.”
“You’ll wear if for your fortieth birthday party next month.” He kisses my bare shoulder sending shivers through my body.
“Sebastian, I don’t want to celebrate my birthday,” I protest. “Not without … without my Joe here. It feels wrong.” The pain of grief, occasionally giving me periods of reprieve, returns as a hard fist to my stomach.
“I know, darling,” he sooths, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and kissing my neck. “It will be good for you, to have the party to plan will take your mind off your terrible loss. Trust me.” His muscular arms encircle me comfortingly and I lean back against him, savouring the support both physically and emotionally.
“You’re right, I need to carry on. Sometimes, though, it’s just too hard. It seems pointless without him. So empty.”
“We have Bella to consider. She needs us to be strong, Elizabeth. Even when you feel like giving up, you must remain focused on her. In time, the pain will ease. Then, one day you realize that you don’t feel guilty for living. You just enjoy your memories which you keep forever.” I turn and hug him tightly.
“Thank you, darling. You make me feel so protected. You make sense of all the madness. You turn the dark to light.” His fingers tilt my head so that his mouth finds mine and our kiss is fervent, needy.
He breaks away, his breathing quickened. “I don’t,” he breathes, “I turn the light to dark.” He has such a lost, desperate forlornness about him at this moment it takes my breath away.
“That’s not true,” I whisper. “You’re a good man.” His eyes search mine as though desperately seeking the truth in my words.
“God. How little you know me.”
A knock at the bedroom door is followed by Bella’s entrance before we can call to enter.
“Hey guys,” she breezes in. “Eww. Gross. Put him down Mum!” I scowl icily at my daughter’s intrusion.
“Was there something you needed?” Pulling away from Sebastian’s embrace, I’m aware that Bella is staring, open mouthed, at my dress - at me.
“Oh. My. God. Look at you.” Unsure if this comment is appreciation or disgust, I fold my arms defensively.
“Doesn’t your Mother look divine?” Sebastian purrs.
“She looks like a … a whore.” My heart sinks and my confidence plummets. Bella has her hand over her mouth in mock horror.
“Bella!” Snaps Sebastian angrily. “Apologise at once.”
“It’s just so not you, Mum,” Bella is shaking her head to enforce her harsh judgment.
“Bella. This is a present from Sebastian. It’s he you should apologize to.” Fury and hurt build in equal measure and I reach behind me, to find the ends of the cord so that I can remove the gown.
“I’m sorry. It’s just … I’ve never seen you look like this Mum. When would you wear it?” She’s staring at me, wide eyed.
“Your Mother is going to wear this gown on her fortieth birthday. If you go to the wardrobe in your bedroom, Bella, you’ll find that you too have a new gown. Albeit yours isn’t quite as slutty as you seem to think your Mother’s is.” Sebastian’s tone is reproachful and Bella lowers her eyes away from his frosty glare, remorsefully.
“I’m sorry Mum. I guess you look kind of cool. I really have a new dress?” She perks up, meeting his eyes once more. “Can I go and see it now?”
“Go.” Sebastian waves her away and she runs excitedly to her room.
“You handle her well,” I praise, admiring his firm manner with my wayward teenager.
“She’s nearly a woman. She needs to learn discipline,” he replies sternly. “I’m going to see that she has some boundaries.” He notices my concerned expression and quickly adds, “it’s for her own good. Trust me.”
“I do trust
“But when will I wear this? It’s so … so over the top.”
“You’ll wear if for your fortieth birthday party next month.” He kisses my bare shoulder sending shivers through my body.
“Sebastian, I don’t want to celebrate my birthday,” I protest. “Not without … without my Joe here. It feels wrong.” The pain of grief, occasionally giving me periods of reprieve, returns as a hard fist to my stomach.
“I know, darling,” he sooths, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and kissing my neck. “It will be good for you, to have the party to plan will take your mind off your terrible loss. Trust me.” His muscular arms encircle me comfortingly and I lean back against him, savouring the support both physically and emotionally.
“You’re right, I need to carry on. Sometimes, though, it’s just too hard. It seems pointless without him. So empty.”
“We have Bella to consider. She needs us to be strong, Elizabeth. Even when you feel like giving up, you must remain focused on her. In time, the pain will ease. Then, one day you realize that you don’t feel guilty for living. You just enjoy your memories which you keep forever.” I turn and hug him tightly.
“Thank you, darling. You make me feel so protected. You make sense of all the madness. You turn the dark to light.” His fingers tilt my head so that his mouth finds mine and our kiss is fervent, needy.
He breaks away, his breathing quickened. “I don’t,” he breathes, “I turn the light to dark.” He has such a lost, desperate forlornness about him at this moment it takes my breath away.
“That’s not true,” I whisper. “You’re a good man.” His eyes search mine as though desperately seeking the truth in my words.
“God. How little you know me.”
A knock at the bedroom door is followed by Bella’s entrance before we can call to enter.
“Hey guys,” she breezes in. “Eww. Gross. Put him down Mum!” I scowl icily at my daughter’s intrusion.
“Was there something you needed?” Pulling away from Sebastian’s embrace, I’m aware that Bella is staring, open mouthed, at my dress - at me.
“Oh. My. God. Look at you.” Unsure if this comment is appreciation or disgust, I fold my arms defensively.
“Doesn’t your Mother look divine?” Sebastian purrs.
“She looks like a … a whore.” My heart sinks and my confidence plummets. Bella has her hand over her mouth in mock horror.
“Bella!” Snaps Sebastian angrily. “Apologise at once.”
“It’s just so not you, Mum,” Bella is shaking her head to enforce her harsh judgment.
“Bella. This is a present from Sebastian. It’s he you should apologize to.” Fury and hurt build in equal measure and I reach behind me, to find the ends of the cord so that I can remove the gown.
“I’m sorry. It’s just … I’ve never seen you look like this Mum. When would you wear it?” She’s staring at me, wide eyed.
“Your Mother is going to wear this gown on her fortieth birthday. If you go to the wardrobe in your bedroom, Bella, you’ll find that you too have a new gown. Albeit yours isn’t quite as slutty as you seem to think your Mother’s is.” Sebastian’s tone is reproachful and Bella lowers her eyes away from his frosty glare, remorsefully.
“I’m sorry Mum. I guess you look kind of cool. I really have a new dress?” She perks up, meeting his eyes once more. “Can I go and see it now?”
“Go.” Sebastian waves her away and she runs excitedly to her room.
“You handle her well,” I praise, admiring his firm manner with my wayward teenager.
“She’s nearly a woman. She needs to learn discipline,” he replies sternly. “I’m going to see that she has some boundaries.” He notices my concerned expression and quickly adds, “it’s for her own good. Trust me.”
“I do trust
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