in a deep, steadying breath, Charlotte climbed out of the car and headed into Gloria’s. Brandy and Greg had managed to snag a table even though the place was packed. They both gave her hugs when she approached the table.
“Hey, babe,” Brandy greeted her. “How was the first day?”
Charlotte gave her a small smile. “It was good. Brandon seems like a good guy and a good boss.”
Greg studied her for a moment. “That’s a lot of good . Why does it sound like that is a bad thing?”
She shrugged, embarrassed that Greg had seen through her brave face. “It’s just a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
“What is?” Brandy asked.
“Pretending to be normal,” Charlotte replied.
Both her friends sat back in their chairs and she wanted to kick herself. She wanted tonight to be nice for them. It was selfish for her to keep dragging them down into dark thoughts that plagued her.
Greg surprised her. He leaned forward and placed his hand over hers. “You are normal, Char. Your entire life just changed and you’re allowed to experience whatever emotions you have. You don’t have to hide them from us. If you’re angry, then yell. If you’re sad, then cry. If something makes you happy, don’t be afraid to smile. There is no handbook for grief. You have to take things as they come.”
Charlotte stared at Greg, her lips slightly parted. Everything he said made sense and it also helped her let go of her guilt about not holding on to her brave face.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Greg squeezed her hand lightly one more time before releasing it. “Now, tell us about your new job.”
Charlotte told them a little about what she would be doing at the construction firm. She was grateful when Greg started talking about new clients he was dealing with at work. He was careful not to mention Derek, and Charlotte was grateful for that. She didn’t want to know how he was doing.
Brandy seemed a bit withdrawn but eventually joined in, telling funny stories of things that had happened in court and how one of the particularly arrogant partners at her firm had received a set-down by a judge.
They ended up eating dinner together, sharing fajitas family-style. It was the first time in a long while that Charlotte felt even a little like her old self. Eating dinner with her two best friends like they used to do in college before she married Derek made her feel better, for a while at least.
By the end of the evening, Charlotte had to admit that Brandy was right to push her into having a night out. After the stress of the day, sitting at home and thinking about Adam, her new job, her asshole of a husband, and the three thousand other things that wanted to crowd into her brain would have been the worst thing she could have done.
After they finished eating, Greg insisted on paying. Brandy and Charlotte tried to argue, but he merely slid the waiter his card before they could stop him.
“It’s not everyday I get to take two gorgeous women out to dinner,” he teased.
“Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” Brandy asked, winking at Charlotte.
“Of course not,” Greg replied.
Charlotte said her goodbyes after their good-natured tiff and headed home alone. She walked into her dark, empty house and immediately felt any lingering lightness of the evening disappear. Greg and Brandy could distract her from the numbness for a while, but, now that she was alone, it seeped back into her skin, going all the way to her bones.
She wasn’t sure what she wanted more: the numbness or the anger. It wasn’t easy to go through the motions when she honestly wanted to do nothing but sit at Adam’s grave for hours each day. Still, she hated the anger that sometimes swelled within her, reaching up from the abyss of despair to claw at her insides and spew out of her.
With a sigh, Charlotte moved out of her kitchen, through the house, turning on a lamp here and there so it wouldn’t be completely dark. As it was her habit
“Hey, babe,” Brandy greeted her. “How was the first day?”
Charlotte gave her a small smile. “It was good. Brandon seems like a good guy and a good boss.”
Greg studied her for a moment. “That’s a lot of good . Why does it sound like that is a bad thing?”
She shrugged, embarrassed that Greg had seen through her brave face. “It’s just a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
“What is?” Brandy asked.
“Pretending to be normal,” Charlotte replied.
Both her friends sat back in their chairs and she wanted to kick herself. She wanted tonight to be nice for them. It was selfish for her to keep dragging them down into dark thoughts that plagued her.
Greg surprised her. He leaned forward and placed his hand over hers. “You are normal, Char. Your entire life just changed and you’re allowed to experience whatever emotions you have. You don’t have to hide them from us. If you’re angry, then yell. If you’re sad, then cry. If something makes you happy, don’t be afraid to smile. There is no handbook for grief. You have to take things as they come.”
Charlotte stared at Greg, her lips slightly parted. Everything he said made sense and it also helped her let go of her guilt about not holding on to her brave face.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Greg squeezed her hand lightly one more time before releasing it. “Now, tell us about your new job.”
Charlotte told them a little about what she would be doing at the construction firm. She was grateful when Greg started talking about new clients he was dealing with at work. He was careful not to mention Derek, and Charlotte was grateful for that. She didn’t want to know how he was doing.
Brandy seemed a bit withdrawn but eventually joined in, telling funny stories of things that had happened in court and how one of the particularly arrogant partners at her firm had received a set-down by a judge.
They ended up eating dinner together, sharing fajitas family-style. It was the first time in a long while that Charlotte felt even a little like her old self. Eating dinner with her two best friends like they used to do in college before she married Derek made her feel better, for a while at least.
By the end of the evening, Charlotte had to admit that Brandy was right to push her into having a night out. After the stress of the day, sitting at home and thinking about Adam, her new job, her asshole of a husband, and the three thousand other things that wanted to crowd into her brain would have been the worst thing she could have done.
After they finished eating, Greg insisted on paying. Brandy and Charlotte tried to argue, but he merely slid the waiter his card before they could stop him.
“It’s not everyday I get to take two gorgeous women out to dinner,” he teased.
“Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” Brandy asked, winking at Charlotte.
“Of course not,” Greg replied.
Charlotte said her goodbyes after their good-natured tiff and headed home alone. She walked into her dark, empty house and immediately felt any lingering lightness of the evening disappear. Greg and Brandy could distract her from the numbness for a while, but, now that she was alone, it seeped back into her skin, going all the way to her bones.
She wasn’t sure what she wanted more: the numbness or the anger. It wasn’t easy to go through the motions when she honestly wanted to do nothing but sit at Adam’s grave for hours each day. Still, she hated the anger that sometimes swelled within her, reaching up from the abyss of despair to claw at her insides and spew out of her.
With a sigh, Charlotte moved out of her kitchen, through the house, turning on a lamp here and there so it wouldn’t be completely dark. As it was her habit
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