designer handbag and flounced, clipboard in hand, over to the couch where Grace cowered, wishing that whatever was going to happen next would hurry up and happen. A doctor’s visit couldn’t be worse than the waiting, imagining her legs splayed open, some stranger touching her, looking inside her. While she knew that she deserved whatever humiliation she was about to suffer, and she had better get used to it, as there were likely plenty of doctors’ visits in her future — hopefully not all three hours away from home — she had hoped that her mother would begin to relax, but Betsy remained as cold and hard as a block of ice. As terrible as this ordeal was, it was so much worse because Grace had no shoulder to lean on. Jennifer was doing her best, but she was a kid herself, and no matter how gently she patted Grace’s back, or murmured comforting words in her ear, or tried to make Grace laugh, it just wasn’t enough.
A woman dressed in pale pink scrubs and holding a pink file folder opened the door to the rest of the office. “Grace?”
Betsy and Grace stood simultaneously. “Just Grace, please.” The nurse smiled warmly and held the door open for Grace, while Betsy returned to the sofa, teeth clenched, shoulders up by her ears.
“Okay, Grace, take everything off and put this on, open to the front.” She handed Grace a pink paper robe and left her alone in the examining room. Arctic air blew out of the ceiling vents, and Grace huddled on the paper-covered table, arms crossed, trying to keep her teeth from chattering in the chill room. The fact that everything in the office was pink did nothing to take the edge off her nerves.
The door opened again. “Hi, Grace, I’m Dr. Ryder, and I’ll be taking care of you today.” Thankfully, Dr. Ryder was a woman. If a man had walked in and asked her to spread her legs, she probably would have passed out.
“So, you think you’re about eight weeks or so?” Dr. Ryder asked, scanning the piece of paper in the folder.
“I think so. I only did it once, on July second.” This was beyond embarrassing, and Grace was grateful that the nurse hadn’t allowed her mother to accompany her beyond the waiting room.
“Were you using birth control?” As sophisticated as young people were today, the myth persisted that you couldn’t get pregnant the first time.
“Yes, he wore a condom, but I guess it leaked.”
“And you took a pregnancy test?”
“Seven.” After all that had happened, Grace couldn’t believe she’d been stupid enough to believe that if she peed on enough sticks, she would eventually get the result she wanted.
“You took seven?” The doctor tried to suppress a smile. “Sometimes it’s hard to accept, isn’t it?” She patted Grace’s knee. “Well let’s take a look. Have you ever had a gynecological exam before?”
“No, ma’am.”
“It’s not as horrible as you think it’s going to be. Just lie back on the table and scoot your bum down to the edge. That’s a good girl. Now put your feet in here.” She guided Grace’s feet into the stirrups. “Just relax your legs and let your knees come apart. I’m just going to look inside. Close your eyes, take a deep breath,
and relax.”
Grace felt the doctor’s latex-covered fingers, and although she tried to do as the doctor said, every muscle in her body contracted.
“I know this is scary, but you need to unclench.” The doctor held up a piece of metal that looked like a cross between a duck’s bill and a medieval torture device. “This is called a speculum, and I’m going to slip this part inside of you so I can see your cervix. I promise it won’t hurt, as long as your muscles are relaxed.”
“Okay,” Grace whispered, as tears dribbled silently over her cheeks and into her ears.
“You poor thing. Don’t worry. The worst part is almost over, and then we’ll talk about what comes next,” the doctor said softly.
Grace nodded as the cold metal slid inside her, and she could
A woman dressed in pale pink scrubs and holding a pink file folder opened the door to the rest of the office. “Grace?”
Betsy and Grace stood simultaneously. “Just Grace, please.” The nurse smiled warmly and held the door open for Grace, while Betsy returned to the sofa, teeth clenched, shoulders up by her ears.
“Okay, Grace, take everything off and put this on, open to the front.” She handed Grace a pink paper robe and left her alone in the examining room. Arctic air blew out of the ceiling vents, and Grace huddled on the paper-covered table, arms crossed, trying to keep her teeth from chattering in the chill room. The fact that everything in the office was pink did nothing to take the edge off her nerves.
The door opened again. “Hi, Grace, I’m Dr. Ryder, and I’ll be taking care of you today.” Thankfully, Dr. Ryder was a woman. If a man had walked in and asked her to spread her legs, she probably would have passed out.
“So, you think you’re about eight weeks or so?” Dr. Ryder asked, scanning the piece of paper in the folder.
“I think so. I only did it once, on July second.” This was beyond embarrassing, and Grace was grateful that the nurse hadn’t allowed her mother to accompany her beyond the waiting room.
“Were you using birth control?” As sophisticated as young people were today, the myth persisted that you couldn’t get pregnant the first time.
“Yes, he wore a condom, but I guess it leaked.”
“And you took a pregnancy test?”
“Seven.” After all that had happened, Grace couldn’t believe she’d been stupid enough to believe that if she peed on enough sticks, she would eventually get the result she wanted.
“You took seven?” The doctor tried to suppress a smile. “Sometimes it’s hard to accept, isn’t it?” She patted Grace’s knee. “Well let’s take a look. Have you ever had a gynecological exam before?”
“No, ma’am.”
“It’s not as horrible as you think it’s going to be. Just lie back on the table and scoot your bum down to the edge. That’s a good girl. Now put your feet in here.” She guided Grace’s feet into the stirrups. “Just relax your legs and let your knees come apart. I’m just going to look inside. Close your eyes, take a deep breath,
and relax.”
Grace felt the doctor’s latex-covered fingers, and although she tried to do as the doctor said, every muscle in her body contracted.
“I know this is scary, but you need to unclench.” The doctor held up a piece of metal that looked like a cross between a duck’s bill and a medieval torture device. “This is called a speculum, and I’m going to slip this part inside of you so I can see your cervix. I promise it won’t hurt, as long as your muscles are relaxed.”
“Okay,” Grace whispered, as tears dribbled silently over her cheeks and into her ears.
“You poor thing. Don’t worry. The worst part is almost over, and then we’ll talk about what comes next,” the doctor said softly.
Grace nodded as the cold metal slid inside her, and she could
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