Read Online Screaming Divas by Suzanne Kamata - Free Book Online Page A

voice. “What if I told you that I think you’re really beautiful and I want to kiss you?”
    Esther brought her beer to her lips and drank like a horse in the desert. She set her empty cup on the railing. “Do you think I’m gay?” she whispered.
    â€œThere’s just something about you that I really like.”
    Esther wondered what it would be like to kiss this woman. What would her lipstick taste like? What would it be like to run her fingers over Rebecca’s ribs, her back, her pea-sized nipples? What would it be like to be kissed in return?
    When Rebecca took her hand and pulled her back into the living room, she didn’t resist. She followed her to the tub and got her cup refilled. She drank and drank, and then she didn’t care when Rebecca led her into a dark room and nudged her onto the bed. She closed her eyes and felt Rebecca’s lips brushing hers. A shiver went down her spine. And then the light came on and she looked to see Harumi standing in the doorway.
    Her face was totally expressionless, but Esther knew that wild thoughts roiled underneath. “I’m leaving now,” she said in a frosty voice. “Are you coming or not?”
    Esther nodded. She couldn’t speak. This was the most embarrassing moment of her life. When Harumi left the room, she looked toward the window, seriously considering jumping. Everyone would stare knowingly when she emerged from the room. They probably knew that Rebecca was queer and that the two of them had gone off together. She might as well commit suicide right now.
    â€œSorry about that, luv,” Rebecca said, still lolling on the bed. “I should have put a chair under the doorknob or something.”
    Esther didn’t answer. She heaved herself off the bed and smoothed out her clothes. The room was spinning. Behind her, Rebecca was scrabbling through the drawers of the nightstand. When she turned, Esther could see that she was writing something.
    Rebecca prowled across the room and draped her arm over Esther’s shoulder. “Here’s my phone number, darling,” she whispered, tucking a folded piece of paper in Esther’s shirt pocket. “Call me.”
    Esther felt Rebecca’s lips on her neck before the other woman moved away. She crawled under the covers and closed her eyes. Esther tucked in her shirt, turned off the light, and went to find Harumi.
    All the way home, they sat in total silence. Harumi didn’t even turn the radio on. Maybe she was sick of music for the night. Maybe she was waiting for Esther to explain. But she couldn’t. What had happened had been beyond her control. It was as if Rebecca had hypnotized her. Well, actually she’d been drunk. And it hadn’t been bad. It had been really, really nice. No one had ever told Esther that she was beautiful or desired. And no one had ever kissed her like that. What was so wrong with it? Of course she wouldn’t call Rebecca. No, she’d wad up that little piece of paper and put her out of her mind. Someday it would seem like a dream.
    When the car reached Esther’s house, Harumi parked at the curb. She stared straight ahead and waited.
    â€œThanks,” Esther said. “For the ride, I mean. And for taking me with you.”
    Harumi acted as if she hadn’t heard. She kept her eyes on the windshield until Esther had slammed the door and run across the yard to the front porch of her house. Then she drove home, two blocks away.
    Esther wasn’t sure what would happen next. Part of her was afraid that Harumi and her fellow band members would broadcast her little adventure all over school. She’d be ostracized, maybe tarred and feathered. People would paint rude slogans on her locker. Call her a dyke.
    But it wasn’t like that at all. Everyone treated her the same as before, except for Harumi who acted as if she didn’t exist. If their eyes happened to meet in the hallway, Harumi looked right