Read Online Sawyer (Torey Hope: The Later Years #2) by A. D. Ellis - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: A. D. Ellis
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haunting memory he would battle for the rest of his life. Even if he was ever able to admit he was attracted to men, the physical and emotional scars his brothers had left on him were the shackles and chains which would forever prevent him from experiencing what his body and heart longed for.
A memory of his beloved mother, his friend, his confidant, his protector floated into his mind like a feather on the wind. It had always been her and him against his father and brothers. His mother, Lilly, had never wavered in her constant support and protection of him. When the cancer devouring her body could no longer be held off, she gathered him in her arms and murmured her love to him. In halting gasps and wheezing whispers, she shared her last moments with him. “Luke, my dear baby boy, you’ve not been shown love from a father, but you were born from the love of both a father and a mother. I’m sorry you will never know the man your father could have been. Please forgive me for allowing you to suffer at their hands. Don’t give in, don’t let them win…” She stopped briefly to take a breath, but she never finished what she was saying.
At age 15 Luke didn’t know what to make of her broken whispers about the love of a father. But, ‘don’t let them win’ were words which would bombard his mind like a spray of bullets each day of his life. He would never let them win. His brothers’ and father’s words would never be true about him. He loved the male form, the hard outlines, the muscles, the hair-roughened skin, but he would never give in to those feelings. Ever. If he allowed himself to find physical pleasure at the hands of another man, his brothers’ and father’s words would be truth. He’d be exactly what they always accused him of being. No . He would cling to his mother’s request. He would never let them win.
That promise had never been difficult to keep. He had the constant memory of their hate-filled words to keep his desires in check. If those memories didn’t dull the longing, he would allow himself to briefly recall the physical and emotional torture his brothers forced upon him from the moment his mother passed on. The recollection of that humiliation and pain was enough to remind him daily why he could never acquiesce to the inclinations of his body and soul.
Until he walked into the gym and saw Sawyer Morgan.
Driving a hand through his messy blonde tresses, Luke contemplated leaving.
But his movement caught Sawyer’s attention. “Who’s there? What are you doing here at this time of night?” Sawyer, in contrast to his naturally calm politeness, barked out at the shadows. What the hell? I just need some alone time and now I’ve got to deal with this?
Sawyer’s breath caught in his chest and his entire body tightened in response when the man exited the shadows. Only a few lights were on in the gym, and this man stood directly underneath one. The light reflected from his blonde hair and gave him an ethereal look. At 6’2” himself, Sawyer didn’t often find men taller, but he judged the athletically lean man standing outside the ring to be about 6’3”. His blue eyes were cautious, apologetic, and interested all at once.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t know anyone else would be here.” Sawyer instantly recognized the new martial arts instructor, Luke Hamilton, and walked the edge of the ring to shake the man’s hand.
When a lightning-hot heat traveled between their joined hands, Sawyer took notice, but he also noticed how quickly Luke’s jaw clenched and his hand pulled away.
“I apologize for being here this late. I didn’t think I’d be interrupting anybody. I can leave…” Sawyer noticed that Luke trailed those last words as if hoping Sawyer would ask him to stay.
“No worries, man, you’re welcome to stay. We can go at it alone or team up and fight out whatever it is we’re both trying to rid from our minds.” Sawyer stepped away from the ropes slightly and swung his
A memory of his beloved mother, his friend, his confidant, his protector floated into his mind like a feather on the wind. It had always been her and him against his father and brothers. His mother, Lilly, had never wavered in her constant support and protection of him. When the cancer devouring her body could no longer be held off, she gathered him in her arms and murmured her love to him. In halting gasps and wheezing whispers, she shared her last moments with him. “Luke, my dear baby boy, you’ve not been shown love from a father, but you were born from the love of both a father and a mother. I’m sorry you will never know the man your father could have been. Please forgive me for allowing you to suffer at their hands. Don’t give in, don’t let them win…” She stopped briefly to take a breath, but she never finished what she was saying.
At age 15 Luke didn’t know what to make of her broken whispers about the love of a father. But, ‘don’t let them win’ were words which would bombard his mind like a spray of bullets each day of his life. He would never let them win. His brothers’ and father’s words would never be true about him. He loved the male form, the hard outlines, the muscles, the hair-roughened skin, but he would never give in to those feelings. Ever. If he allowed himself to find physical pleasure at the hands of another man, his brothers’ and father’s words would be truth. He’d be exactly what they always accused him of being. No . He would cling to his mother’s request. He would never let them win.
That promise had never been difficult to keep. He had the constant memory of their hate-filled words to keep his desires in check. If those memories didn’t dull the longing, he would allow himself to briefly recall the physical and emotional torture his brothers forced upon him from the moment his mother passed on. The recollection of that humiliation and pain was enough to remind him daily why he could never acquiesce to the inclinations of his body and soul.
Until he walked into the gym and saw Sawyer Morgan.
Driving a hand through his messy blonde tresses, Luke contemplated leaving.
But his movement caught Sawyer’s attention. “Who’s there? What are you doing here at this time of night?” Sawyer, in contrast to his naturally calm politeness, barked out at the shadows. What the hell? I just need some alone time and now I’ve got to deal with this?
Sawyer’s breath caught in his chest and his entire body tightened in response when the man exited the shadows. Only a few lights were on in the gym, and this man stood directly underneath one. The light reflected from his blonde hair and gave him an ethereal look. At 6’2” himself, Sawyer didn’t often find men taller, but he judged the athletically lean man standing outside the ring to be about 6’3”. His blue eyes were cautious, apologetic, and interested all at once.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t know anyone else would be here.” Sawyer instantly recognized the new martial arts instructor, Luke Hamilton, and walked the edge of the ring to shake the man’s hand.
When a lightning-hot heat traveled between their joined hands, Sawyer took notice, but he also noticed how quickly Luke’s jaw clenched and his hand pulled away.
“I apologize for being here this late. I didn’t think I’d be interrupting anybody. I can leave…” Sawyer noticed that Luke trailed those last words as if hoping Sawyer would ask him to stay.
“No worries, man, you’re welcome to stay. We can go at it alone or team up and fight out whatever it is we’re both trying to rid from our minds.” Sawyer stepped away from the ropes slightly and swung his
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