glarin’ at me, like he wants me to know it ain’t over.
“Luc, take this dead bitch and get her off the lot. I want her out of sight. I doubt anyone is looking for this piece of trash, but with the amount of shit coming our way you best not fuck this up. Randy, go inside, get a beer, get your shit together, and when your head is fucking clear I want you to go deal with the other bitch at my house.”
I try not to give anything away when I hear him say that. Deal with. Doesn’t take a fuckin’ scientist to know what Butch means. And even if he doesn’t mean that, Randy’s got a hard-on for revenge now, and Butch just gave him a free fuckin’ wild card to do what he wants with Angel. The bitch I came back for. The bitch that nearly broke me out of the game. The bitch that has my head twisted in fuckin’ knots.
Randy smirks at me before turnin’ and leavin’ – he knows he’s got me by the balls.
Chapter Two
Butch watches me like he’s some fuckin’ disapproving father, as I go over to Lilith’s body.
“What? You afraid I’m gonna fuck her?” I say. Butch starts to say somethin’, then changes his mind and walks away. I’m fuckin’ glad he does. I don’t want him to see me. I’m fuckin’ breakin’ up inside, like I’ve been beat to shit. But it ain’t Randy’s punches that are hurtin’ me.
Butch doesn’t know Lilith was responsible for blowing up the van, for the explosion that killed Meat, or for the fire that burned down the clubhouse. If he knew he probably wouldn’t have let me bring her back. Still, if he can’t figure that much out on his own, I ain’t gonna make this shit worse for myself. She’s dead, and it doesn’t matter.
I crouch over her body and look at her. She’s a fuckin’ mess, lyin’ in a pool of blood. I can feel my hands shakin’. I’ve seen plenty of bitches dead. Hell, I’ve even killed a couple. The world is full of them, ain’t nobody gonna miss a couple. But Lilith…
It freaks me out, seein’ her dead. The bitch was always movin’, always fightin. Even in Amber, there was some spark. She’s been the devil on my shoulder since she showed up, saying those words.
I see you. I know you. I am you. Soul of my soul.
Words that seemed to gain more fuckin’ meanin’ every day that we spent together. Words that began to feel like they should be etched into my fuckin’ skin. If Angel was the bitch that nearly pulled me out of all this shit, towards some fuckin’ soft-ass life, then Lilith’s the one who nearly had me going deeper into it. A trainer herself. On the fuckin’ run. A fighter. A girl with too much shit in her past to be afraid of anything.
Shit. I’m losin’ my fuckin’ mind. I’m a fuckin’ trainer, but it seems like lately I’ve been more into the bitch savin’ business. I grab my gun out of her hand and stuff it into my belt, then I put my arms underneath her – gentler and more carefully than I ever put hands on her when she was alive. I carry her a little out of the way, so that she can’t be seen from the street, and lay her down. Then I grab a blanket from one of the bikes and spread it on the ground beside her. Butch is standin’ some way off on the other side of the lot, but he’s too fuckin’ lost in his thoughts to look over.
I pick Lilith up again, and lay her on the cloth. Then I just look at her. I feel my body prickle and heat up in the places she would kiss me, lick me, bite me. I remember her thighs squeezing my waist as she straddled me on my bike. I remember her forceful kisses when she tied me up. I remember puttin’ a gun to her head as she put her lips around my cock. I remember the way she never stopped fightin’ me, even when I had her pressed up against a wall, tied up, takin’ everything I wanted from her sweet ass…
Fuck this soft shit. It’s just another dead bitch. Another skanky street bitch with a few tats and good pussy. Why the fuck am I losin’ my mind over this shit?
I roll her
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