hour at Thirsty's. Are you finally ready to join us?"
"I can't. I'm going to an author night at Hawthorne's. A local author is doing a reading from her new book. I'm dying to read it, and I can't wait to hear her speak about it."
"You really need to get a life, Allie. You are 23 years old, not 50! You are a single woman in your prime. Come have some drinks and let loose for once. Your book can wait."
"Thanks for the invite, but I’ve been looking forward to this reading for a few weeks. Maybe next time." I said goodbye and headed for my cubicle, knowing full well that I would say no every time she asked. There was no way I would go drinking with a bunch of people I barely knew and make a fool of myself. I could never let my guard down, not even for a second.
When I reached my desk, my phone was already ringing. It was Joe's assistant, Janet, asking me to get started on all of the tasks in that she outlined in the email that was also awaiting me. Apparently, Joe would be too busy in planning meetings all day preparing for the visit from the big boss. According to her, everyone was afraid of the changes that were coming.
I got right to work, going above and beyond in every task they asked me to do. I was going to impress the people here if it broke me. I needed my own success and my own life so I never had to go back to living in someone else's shadow. The one thing my past taught me was how to please people. I never complained at the station and always delivered projects early. I tried not to get in on the gossip and only joined in enough to seem friendly. I didn't want anyone thinking I was unapproachable and not fit to climb the company ladder.
At 5:05, I finished up the last of Janet's requests for Joe and logged out of my computer. I felt a sense of relief come over me as I stood up from my chair in my cubicle and stretched. The constant computer work made my back tense, and my feet hurt from running errands throughout the building. I headed toward the exit and stopped only briefly when I heard Brielle's voice call to me.
"Hey Allie, you sure you don't want to join us? You look like you need a night out."
"I'm sure. I am really looking forward to this reading. Have fun and be careful!" I headed for the door before she tried to convince me again that it was in my best interest to go to a club. I tied my raincoat around my waist and headed for the bus stop. I watched the people rushing to get home around me and just took it all in. I loved that I could blend in here and no one would care what I was doing. There were no spies waiting to run back and tell him where I was, what I was wearing, and who I was talking to.
Still, every once in a while, the hair on the back of my neck would stand up, and I could swear someone was watching me. As soon as I felt it, I would duck into a random place as soon as I could. Once I stepped into a Laundromat and hid in a corner for an hour before I felt safe. Another time, it was a Chinese restaurant where I ate beef and broccoli until my heart rate returned to normal and I felt steady on my feet again. I had to get used to the fact that I would have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. I just had to stay one step ahead of the fear.
When the bus came, I sat next to an elderly woman who told me I looked like her best friend from her childhood. I had a feeling she was a bit senile because she kept calling me Lillian and asking me if I wanted to go watch the boys play ball down the street. I just smiled and nodded, giving her hand a squeeze before I got off the bus at my stop.
Heading up the stairs to my third-floor, one-bedroom apartment, I got my big ring of keys out to prepare to open the door. I had four locks on my door, and that still didn't seem like enough. I unlocked each one quickly, but carefully, and went inside fast so I could lock all four of them immediately. I only felt safe once I was on the other side of that locked door.
I hung my raincoat in
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