him. At the blond hair falling across his face, the muscle clenching in his jaw, the light in his eyes. She was an idiot. She was sure he was being set up and all she wanted to do was touch him, and that made her an idiot.
“Why?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Don’t lie,” he snapped.
Cate licked her lips. “Right. Total honesty. You know, sometimes lies aren’t about…lying. Sometimes they’re about protecting yourself.”
“Not from me.”
That voice .
“Fine,” she snapped back. Why the hell was she talking? Why did she feel compelled to answer? “Because I think I just figured out how you saw through me on Friday. I think you recognized part of yourself. I think that part of you…couldn’t have done whatever it is they’re saying you did. And I think it’s totally fucking crazy that I’m saying any of that.”
Soren exhaled slowly, and the tension seemed to go out of his body. His eyes got lighter somehow, happier. His fingers started to toy with hers.
She could watch him forever. She still hadn’t said anything about the fact that he was touching her.
Soren smiled and said, “Why is it crazy?”
“Because I don’t know you,” Cate said, swallowing. The heat in her core was becoming unbeara1" ming unble. She was afraid to move, and give herself away. “Because we don’t know each other.”
“Can you ever really know anyone?”
She grinned. “That line hasn’t worked on me since freshman year.”
He smiled back, and then his voice dropped. Serious. Soft. “Fair enough. You ever really let anyone know you?”
Cate gasped, unable to hide her reaction. The answer, of course, was a resounding no. As though that would ever be an option, something she could possibly consider, something that would ever feel safe to her.
Which, fine, that was her thing, how she was built, her hang-up. But how did he know ?
“How do you know that?” she said.
Slowly he started to pull her backwards, towards the pool table and the couch against the back wall. She didn’t resist.
“Same way you know I didn’t do anything,” he said.
“So wishful thinking,” she said.
“Sure,” Soren grinned. “Call it whatever you want.”
He still hadn’t let go of her hand. She hadn’t let go of his, either. Something between them seemed to pulse, stronger and stronger, seemed to keep time with her heartbeat, with the growing pressure inside of her. Under the light over the pool table, his blond hair glowed almost white.
“I believe you,” she said. “But trust me, I’m going to verify. I have investigators.”
“Good.”
“Good, then.”
They were past the pool table now, back into darkness, heading toward that couch. What was she doing? This was insane. Why the hell couldn’t she stop walking? Why couldn’t she take her hand away?
“I have one rule, Cate,” Soren said.
“Just one?” she breathed. That was almost disappointing.
She saw those teeth flash again. “One big rule. I make up the others as I go along.”
“What is it?”
“I told you. Total honesty. Nonnegotiable. That’s my hard limit. You know what that is?”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. ‘Hard limit’ was official BDSM speak. They were really talking about this.
“And in return,” Soren said, holding her gaze, “I make sure you can tell me anything and be safe. Deal?”
Cate swallowed. That was…that was asking a lot. Revealing that much of herself—that was not something she’d ever done before. Ever. That was something she wasn’t sure she knew how to do. Something that seemed so easy for other people, so natural, something she envied so much.
And this was her shot.
“Deal,” she said, before she could talk herself out of it. “I think. I haven’t…I don’t know.”
She didn’t know how to finish. Soren just smiled, gently this time.
“You have a history of abuse?” he said. “Someone hurt you?”
Cate felt hot, felt nauseous, felt small and barely able
“Why?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Don’t lie,” he snapped.
Cate licked her lips. “Right. Total honesty. You know, sometimes lies aren’t about…lying. Sometimes they’re about protecting yourself.”
“Not from me.”
That voice .
“Fine,” she snapped back. Why the hell was she talking? Why did she feel compelled to answer? “Because I think I just figured out how you saw through me on Friday. I think you recognized part of yourself. I think that part of you…couldn’t have done whatever it is they’re saying you did. And I think it’s totally fucking crazy that I’m saying any of that.”
Soren exhaled slowly, and the tension seemed to go out of his body. His eyes got lighter somehow, happier. His fingers started to toy with hers.
She could watch him forever. She still hadn’t said anything about the fact that he was touching her.
Soren smiled and said, “Why is it crazy?”
“Because I don’t know you,” Cate said, swallowing. The heat in her core was becoming unbeara1" ming unble. She was afraid to move, and give herself away. “Because we don’t know each other.”
“Can you ever really know anyone?”
She grinned. “That line hasn’t worked on me since freshman year.”
He smiled back, and then his voice dropped. Serious. Soft. “Fair enough. You ever really let anyone know you?”
Cate gasped, unable to hide her reaction. The answer, of course, was a resounding no. As though that would ever be an option, something she could possibly consider, something that would ever feel safe to her.
Which, fine, that was her thing, how she was built, her hang-up. But how did he know ?
“How do you know that?” she said.
Slowly he started to pull her backwards, towards the pool table and the couch against the back wall. She didn’t resist.
“Same way you know I didn’t do anything,” he said.
“So wishful thinking,” she said.
“Sure,” Soren grinned. “Call it whatever you want.”
He still hadn’t let go of her hand. She hadn’t let go of his, either. Something between them seemed to pulse, stronger and stronger, seemed to keep time with her heartbeat, with the growing pressure inside of her. Under the light over the pool table, his blond hair glowed almost white.
“I believe you,” she said. “But trust me, I’m going to verify. I have investigators.”
“Good.”
“Good, then.”
They were past the pool table now, back into darkness, heading toward that couch. What was she doing? This was insane. Why the hell couldn’t she stop walking? Why couldn’t she take her hand away?
“I have one rule, Cate,” Soren said.
“Just one?” she breathed. That was almost disappointing.
She saw those teeth flash again. “One big rule. I make up the others as I go along.”
“What is it?”
“I told you. Total honesty. Nonnegotiable. That’s my hard limit. You know what that is?”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. ‘Hard limit’ was official BDSM speak. They were really talking about this.
“And in return,” Soren said, holding her gaze, “I make sure you can tell me anything and be safe. Deal?”
Cate swallowed. That was…that was asking a lot. Revealing that much of herself—that was not something she’d ever done before. Ever. That was something she wasn’t sure she knew how to do. Something that seemed so easy for other people, so natural, something she envied so much.
And this was her shot.
“Deal,” she said, before she could talk herself out of it. “I think. I haven’t…I don’t know.”
She didn’t know how to finish. Soren just smiled, gently this time.
“You have a history of abuse?” he said. “Someone hurt you?”
Cate felt hot, felt nauseous, felt small and barely able
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