mysterious eyes? He couldnt even begin to understand her. Hed thought that if he could take her, reduce her to the common status of all the women whod lain beneath him during the past two years, then she would lose her mystery and hed no longer feel so obsessed by her, but that hadnt happened. Instead shed revealed a secret that made her even more mysterious, and now shed retreated again into her private self, too distant for him to reach.
It was, abruptly, more than he could stand. He felt suffocated, and he glared at her in anger at the panic that was consuming him. Hell, he uttered in complete disgust. Look, are you all right?
Sarah lifted a slim eyebrow. Im fine. She sounded cool and in perfect control, as usual.
Ive got to get out of here, he muttered. Im sorry; I know Im acting like a bastard, but I cant He stopped, shaking his head in bafflement. Ill call you tomorrow.
He was at the door before Sarah found her voice again. Theres no need. I really am all right.
The look he gave her was almost violent; then he was gone, and a few seconds later she heard the door slam. Immediately she got out of bed and went to lock it, then crawled back into bed, wincing as her body protested the movement.
So, already the fragile companionship that had been growing between them was shattered, by a swift, consuming act of lust. That was all it had been for him, though shed gone into his arms with love. She knew that it was much too soon in their relationship for it to be able to support the stress of lovemak-ing. Hed taken her, and shed seen the anger, the guilt, in his eyes when hed looked at her. Because she was so acutely sensitive to him, shed known that he was thinking about Diane and regretting the wanton moments on the carpet.
Sarah didnt cry; shed hoped, but the dream had been so brief that she hadnt really let herself start believing in it yet. He was gone, but then shed never had him, not in any way that counted. She hadnt had his trust, or his love. His interest in her hadnt made sense anyway.
What now? Could she really go on working for the same company as he did, seeing him every day? Or had she finally reached the stage where she couldnt take any more, when shed have to be cowardly in the interests of her own sanity? After all, shed been brave for more years than she cared to remember, and bravery had gotten her nothing but a constant ache in her heart and an empty apartment. She was thirty-three, after all; she was already past the prime age for marrying and having children, and the love that shed always craved had eluded her. The total summation of her life was that she had a nice apartment, a snazzy car, and had wasted her life by loving her best friends husband. Time, and life, were passing her by, slipping away from her outstretched arms without even pausing to look at her.
Midnight was the time for making plans for the future, when the past had proved barren. She lay there, forcing herself to be logical and deliberate, even when it hurt. In her own best interests, shed have to find another job. Shed never get over Rome if she saw him every day. She would begin looking for a suitable job Monday morning, and she didnt think it would be that difficult; shed made a lot of friends and contacts during her years with Spencer-Nyle, when shed worked so hard to develop a career that shed never really wanted. Diane had been the ambitious one, making stupendous plans that shed chucked the instant after meeting Rome. All Sarah had ever wanted was someone to love, a husband who looked at her with devotion, children to love and raise as best she could, and a home to provide a warm haven from the rest of the world. The man who loved her wouldnt be Rome, she realized anew, and the pain struck her as strong and fresh as it had from the first.
What good would leaving Spencer-Nyle do her if she kept mooning over a man she couldnt have? It was timepast timefor her to forget about Rome and start looking for someone who would love
It was, abruptly, more than he could stand. He felt suffocated, and he glared at her in anger at the panic that was consuming him. Hell, he uttered in complete disgust. Look, are you all right?
Sarah lifted a slim eyebrow. Im fine. She sounded cool and in perfect control, as usual.
Ive got to get out of here, he muttered. Im sorry; I know Im acting like a bastard, but I cant He stopped, shaking his head in bafflement. Ill call you tomorrow.
He was at the door before Sarah found her voice again. Theres no need. I really am all right.
The look he gave her was almost violent; then he was gone, and a few seconds later she heard the door slam. Immediately she got out of bed and went to lock it, then crawled back into bed, wincing as her body protested the movement.
So, already the fragile companionship that had been growing between them was shattered, by a swift, consuming act of lust. That was all it had been for him, though shed gone into his arms with love. She knew that it was much too soon in their relationship for it to be able to support the stress of lovemak-ing. Hed taken her, and shed seen the anger, the guilt, in his eyes when hed looked at her. Because she was so acutely sensitive to him, shed known that he was thinking about Diane and regretting the wanton moments on the carpet.
Sarah didnt cry; shed hoped, but the dream had been so brief that she hadnt really let herself start believing in it yet. He was gone, but then shed never had him, not in any way that counted. She hadnt had his trust, or his love. His interest in her hadnt made sense anyway.
What now? Could she really go on working for the same company as he did, seeing him every day? Or had she finally reached the stage where she couldnt take any more, when shed have to be cowardly in the interests of her own sanity? After all, shed been brave for more years than she cared to remember, and bravery had gotten her nothing but a constant ache in her heart and an empty apartment. She was thirty-three, after all; she was already past the prime age for marrying and having children, and the love that shed always craved had eluded her. The total summation of her life was that she had a nice apartment, a snazzy car, and had wasted her life by loving her best friends husband. Time, and life, were passing her by, slipping away from her outstretched arms without even pausing to look at her.
Midnight was the time for making plans for the future, when the past had proved barren. She lay there, forcing herself to be logical and deliberate, even when it hurt. In her own best interests, shed have to find another job. Shed never get over Rome if she saw him every day. She would begin looking for a suitable job Monday morning, and she didnt think it would be that difficult; shed made a lot of friends and contacts during her years with Spencer-Nyle, when shed worked so hard to develop a career that shed never really wanted. Diane had been the ambitious one, making stupendous plans that shed chucked the instant after meeting Rome. All Sarah had ever wanted was someone to love, a husband who looked at her with devotion, children to love and raise as best she could, and a home to provide a warm haven from the rest of the world. The man who loved her wouldnt be Rome, she realized anew, and the pain struck her as strong and fresh as it had from the first.
What good would leaving Spencer-Nyle do her if she kept mooning over a man she couldnt have? It was timepast timefor her to forget about Rome and start looking for someone who would love
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