let go of the man responsible for me being alive. If he hadn’t come along I probably would’ve tried something far more successful. I had hit my bottom and saw no way out. Jax had helped me find a way out of my rock bottom.
He took off his coat and followed me into the living room. He tossed it on the armchair then pointed at me. “You’ve been crying.”
“Well…you know.”
“I can figure it out. Six-two, bit of a shit head, always has a camera in his hands? Did you tell him?”
“No.” I sat on the couch and Jax sat in the chair, looking at me with a serious expression on his face. One that said he didn’t want any of my excuses or bullshit. “No, I didn’t. He’s not going to care, Jax.”
“Wow. You really don’t think highly of my brother.” Jax flicked a piece of lint off his slacks. “Good enough to fuck but not good enough to give your secrets to?”
“Hill doesn’t want my secrets.” He doesn’t even want me.
Steel grey eyes pinned me to the couch. “Do not underestimate Hill, Sarah.”
“He won’t care. He doesn’t. I’m the Pierce Point fuck. A girl in every port, right?” I fiddled with the hem of my jeans and wished there was something to drink.
Damn it.
“Perhaps at one point. I don’t think there’s been much porting going on with him. You need to tell him, Sarah. This is a small fucking town that thrives on gossip. Someone is going to tell him and it should come from you.”
I shrugged. Hill was gone. What did it matter? “Are you threatening to tell him? You promised not to.” Shit. What would I do if Jax picked Hill over me? I didn’t have a lot of people on Team Sarah. Someone needed to be on my team or else I was going to smash apart. Pieces, pieces everywhere.
“And wasn’t that a bad decision on my part? No, I won’t tell him. You tell him. This is serious stuff, Sarah. He deserves to know.”
Yeah, I thought as I looked away. No one on Team Sarah. “Right,” I said softly. “So I can tell him I sobered up because I overdosed, and then what? What will he do, Jax? Stay? Suddenly, miraculously–” I swallowed my words.
“Love you?”
Wow, he didn’t need to say it like it was impossible and improbable. I already knew that. Having Hill’s oldest brother rub the fact that Hill would never love me in my face was not what I needed hours after waking up to find him gone. Yeah, I knew exactly where I belonged in Hill Deveraux’s life. And that was in bed, flat on my back. “Can you go? I’m tired.”
Jax swore as I stood. “Damn it. Sarah–”
“I know where I fit in his life, Jax. I’ve known since I was fifteen years old and he treated me like a doormat to wipe his shitty boots on. I’ve known since I was seventeen and we had sex. Drunk or sober, I know exactly what I am to him, because he’s not here, is he? Telling him what happened isn’t going to change a thing. Do you know why?” I met his gaze, hating the tears that slipped free. “Because he still left. I know you came here for him and not me so go get him. He needs someone right now and he doesn’t want it to be me.”
Pressing my hand against my stomach, I walked into my studio and locked the door. I slid down the door, folded my arms over my head and did what I had vowed never to do again. I cried over Hill Deveraux.
Again.
Hill
What the hell was I doing? Dragging my hand down my face, I pressed the doorbell. I shouldn’t be here. I should be trying to get as far away from Pierce Point as humanly possible. Jax wasn’t the only means out. I found a ride at eighteen; I could find one at twenty-six.
Instead, I was standing on a familiar porch, ringing a doorbell. I had never, in all the years I had known Sarah, rung her doorbell. And didn’t that just up my asshole quotient for the day.
The door opened and I stared in confusion. Why was Jax in Sarah’s house?
“She’s crying. Fix it.”
I grabbed the front of my brother’s shirt and shoved him hard against the
He took off his coat and followed me into the living room. He tossed it on the armchair then pointed at me. “You’ve been crying.”
“Well…you know.”
“I can figure it out. Six-two, bit of a shit head, always has a camera in his hands? Did you tell him?”
“No.” I sat on the couch and Jax sat in the chair, looking at me with a serious expression on his face. One that said he didn’t want any of my excuses or bullshit. “No, I didn’t. He’s not going to care, Jax.”
“Wow. You really don’t think highly of my brother.” Jax flicked a piece of lint off his slacks. “Good enough to fuck but not good enough to give your secrets to?”
“Hill doesn’t want my secrets.” He doesn’t even want me.
Steel grey eyes pinned me to the couch. “Do not underestimate Hill, Sarah.”
“He won’t care. He doesn’t. I’m the Pierce Point fuck. A girl in every port, right?” I fiddled with the hem of my jeans and wished there was something to drink.
Damn it.
“Perhaps at one point. I don’t think there’s been much porting going on with him. You need to tell him, Sarah. This is a small fucking town that thrives on gossip. Someone is going to tell him and it should come from you.”
I shrugged. Hill was gone. What did it matter? “Are you threatening to tell him? You promised not to.” Shit. What would I do if Jax picked Hill over me? I didn’t have a lot of people on Team Sarah. Someone needed to be on my team or else I was going to smash apart. Pieces, pieces everywhere.
“And wasn’t that a bad decision on my part? No, I won’t tell him. You tell him. This is serious stuff, Sarah. He deserves to know.”
Yeah, I thought as I looked away. No one on Team Sarah. “Right,” I said softly. “So I can tell him I sobered up because I overdosed, and then what? What will he do, Jax? Stay? Suddenly, miraculously–” I swallowed my words.
“Love you?”
Wow, he didn’t need to say it like it was impossible and improbable. I already knew that. Having Hill’s oldest brother rub the fact that Hill would never love me in my face was not what I needed hours after waking up to find him gone. Yeah, I knew exactly where I belonged in Hill Deveraux’s life. And that was in bed, flat on my back. “Can you go? I’m tired.”
Jax swore as I stood. “Damn it. Sarah–”
“I know where I fit in his life, Jax. I’ve known since I was fifteen years old and he treated me like a doormat to wipe his shitty boots on. I’ve known since I was seventeen and we had sex. Drunk or sober, I know exactly what I am to him, because he’s not here, is he? Telling him what happened isn’t going to change a thing. Do you know why?” I met his gaze, hating the tears that slipped free. “Because he still left. I know you came here for him and not me so go get him. He needs someone right now and he doesn’t want it to be me.”
Pressing my hand against my stomach, I walked into my studio and locked the door. I slid down the door, folded my arms over my head and did what I had vowed never to do again. I cried over Hill Deveraux.
Again.
Hill
What the hell was I doing? Dragging my hand down my face, I pressed the doorbell. I shouldn’t be here. I should be trying to get as far away from Pierce Point as humanly possible. Jax wasn’t the only means out. I found a ride at eighteen; I could find one at twenty-six.
Instead, I was standing on a familiar porch, ringing a doorbell. I had never, in all the years I had known Sarah, rung her doorbell. And didn’t that just up my asshole quotient for the day.
The door opened and I stared in confusion. Why was Jax in Sarah’s house?
“She’s crying. Fix it.”
I grabbed the front of my brother’s shirt and shoved him hard against the
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