Read Online Sadie's Mountain by Shelby Rebecca - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Shelby Rebecca
Ads: Link
running around the house I bought for us. I want to make love to you every morning and every night on every possible surface of said house. I want to laugh with you, cry with you, hold you in my arms, protect you, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. I want to sit on the porch and play music together so I can hear your soft voice when you sing for the rest of my life.”
I just stand here. Whoa!
“I want to know the feel of your skin reacting under my fingers and to know the scent of your hair under my nose. I want to kiss you every day a hundred million times. I want to fall asleep to the sounds of your breathing. I want to lay my head on your breast every night so I can hear your heartbeat until I grow old with you. I want to watch our grandbabies from the porch when we can no longer get up and chase ‘em around. I want all of that and more. I want the life that was stolen from us. That’s what I WANT, what I’ve wanted ever since we were kids,” he says, his hand reaching out to me as if there’s a barrier he cannot cross. His breath is ragged and he begins to pace back and forth along the trail.
There’s a hole in my chest that I could easily fill with the life he’s just proposed to me. But, I can’t. “I’m just not capable of that kind of life, Dillon,” I say, honestly.
He won’t look at me. He’s still pacing.
“Look. You’ve taken this too far. This was just a crush you had a long time ago with an innocent girl who no longer even exists, Dillon.”
“Doesn’t exist? You’re freakin’ standing right in front of me. Of course you exist.”
“What I’m trying to say is, you have an idea of the person I am. But I’m not her. I’m a totally different person than the girl you knew all those years ago. The girl you loved went into that shed and never came out,” I explain.
“Shed? What shed, Sadie?” There’s a panicked sound in his voice as he looks like he’s remembering something he can’t place.
I let it slip . “What I’m trying to say is I’m not her anymore,” I clarify, and look down.
“No, you’re not. You’re a grown woman now. What, do you think you were prefect back then?” I peek up at him again. “Do you think I’m delusional? I know your faults. I know everything there is to know. All that does is make me love you more.”
“I just think you’re in love with a memory, and you should let go of that so you can have all of that with Miss Robbins,” I say, not knowing what her first name is.
“Look,” he says, eyes piercing into mine so deep it makes that hole in my chest feel rough and new—like ten years ago new. “I am in love with you, Sadie,” he states, his voice as clear as a blue sky. “That will never change, ever. I’m in love with my best friend and there’s nothing that will ever change that. We grew up together. We shared everything. You know me better than anyone ever has or ever will. Miss Robbins, Claire, is a friend I spend time with. She’s not my girlfriend, not really. To be honest, we both just pretend, I mean, how do I say this?” he says, bewildered. “She lost her husband three years ago. You remember Mike Robbins, right?”
“Yeah.”
“He was killed in combat in Iraq four years ago and I take his place a little for her. She takes your place for me. It eases the loneliness, that’s all. It’s entirely different than what I feel for you. It’s not even on the same planet as the feelings I have for you,” he explains.
“But it could be if you’d just let go of this asinine idea that you have of who I am to you. She obviously cares for you or that tattoo wouldn’t matter. You’re not even giving her a chance.”
“I know who you are to me. That will never change,” he says, solid in his conviction.
“Well, I don’t. I can’t,” I try to explain, looking down. Ugg! This hurts. The lump in my throat is back and all I want to do is go back home and take a bath and sleep forever.
He looks exhausted, too.
I just stand here. Whoa!
“I want to know the feel of your skin reacting under my fingers and to know the scent of your hair under my nose. I want to kiss you every day a hundred million times. I want to fall asleep to the sounds of your breathing. I want to lay my head on your breast every night so I can hear your heartbeat until I grow old with you. I want to watch our grandbabies from the porch when we can no longer get up and chase ‘em around. I want all of that and more. I want the life that was stolen from us. That’s what I WANT, what I’ve wanted ever since we were kids,” he says, his hand reaching out to me as if there’s a barrier he cannot cross. His breath is ragged and he begins to pace back and forth along the trail.
There’s a hole in my chest that I could easily fill with the life he’s just proposed to me. But, I can’t. “I’m just not capable of that kind of life, Dillon,” I say, honestly.
He won’t look at me. He’s still pacing.
“Look. You’ve taken this too far. This was just a crush you had a long time ago with an innocent girl who no longer even exists, Dillon.”
“Doesn’t exist? You’re freakin’ standing right in front of me. Of course you exist.”
“What I’m trying to say is, you have an idea of the person I am. But I’m not her. I’m a totally different person than the girl you knew all those years ago. The girl you loved went into that shed and never came out,” I explain.
“Shed? What shed, Sadie?” There’s a panicked sound in his voice as he looks like he’s remembering something he can’t place.
I let it slip . “What I’m trying to say is I’m not her anymore,” I clarify, and look down.
“No, you’re not. You’re a grown woman now. What, do you think you were prefect back then?” I peek up at him again. “Do you think I’m delusional? I know your faults. I know everything there is to know. All that does is make me love you more.”
“I just think you’re in love with a memory, and you should let go of that so you can have all of that with Miss Robbins,” I say, not knowing what her first name is.
“Look,” he says, eyes piercing into mine so deep it makes that hole in my chest feel rough and new—like ten years ago new. “I am in love with you, Sadie,” he states, his voice as clear as a blue sky. “That will never change, ever. I’m in love with my best friend and there’s nothing that will ever change that. We grew up together. We shared everything. You know me better than anyone ever has or ever will. Miss Robbins, Claire, is a friend I spend time with. She’s not my girlfriend, not really. To be honest, we both just pretend, I mean, how do I say this?” he says, bewildered. “She lost her husband three years ago. You remember Mike Robbins, right?”
“Yeah.”
“He was killed in combat in Iraq four years ago and I take his place a little for her. She takes your place for me. It eases the loneliness, that’s all. It’s entirely different than what I feel for you. It’s not even on the same planet as the feelings I have for you,” he explains.
“But it could be if you’d just let go of this asinine idea that you have of who I am to you. She obviously cares for you or that tattoo wouldn’t matter. You’re not even giving her a chance.”
“I know who you are to me. That will never change,” he says, solid in his conviction.
“Well, I don’t. I can’t,” I try to explain, looking down. Ugg! This hurts. The lump in my throat is back and all I want to do is go back home and take a bath and sleep forever.
He looks exhausted, too.
Similar Books
