Read Online Rockstars F#*k Harder by Penny Wylder - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Penny Wylder
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Drew time to work on new material, and I wouldn't really have to see him during that period.
I figured I could take the time to regain the professional distance that had been shoved aside for weeks. Weeks I wouldn’t trade, but still, it couldn’t last. Drew will get bored of me eventually, and good as it was with him, I need to reestablish boundaries if we’re going to be able to work together in the long term.
Then I realized I missed my period.
I'd thought maybe it was a side effect of going on birth control, but no such luck. A long overdue physical later, and my doctor congratulated me on impending motherhood.
“What?” I'd asked, incredulous.
“You're going to be a mother,” Dr. Abler had repeated. “As in you're pregnant.”
Drew Avery’s baby. Because it can only be his.
Apparently, I played the odds and . . . lost. Was this losing? Yes, I told myself firmly. A baby was not in my cards! But—well, here I was. Am. Fuck.
I'm tied to Drew for life now, like it or not. I'm his babymama, as they say. But I'm also his manager, and I'm trying to launch my own firm. This can only ruin my reputation, ruin my prospects of landing other clients, and hell, Drew will probably fire me to get me out of his sight, maybe thinking I was trying to trap him and milk him for all he’s worth. I’m sure he wants a baby about as much as he wants a hole in the head.
I know it’s not fair. I know it takes two to tango but it’s not my fault the damn condom broke. If he lets me go, no one will blame him, and I'll become the greedy, grasping whore who tried to trap beloved rock sensation Drew Avery.
Like I said, I'm completely and utterly fucked.
To myself, I can admit that as much as this frightens me, it thrills me, too. When I really allow myself to think about it, I want this. A baby. A baby with Drew. Yeah, it’s going to be hell on my career, yeah, the timing could be better, but I can’t think of the child I carry with anything but love . Our baby .
As stupid as it is, as worried as I am, I want this, I do. I only wish Drew wanted it, too, but I really can’t see it. Drew is too much of a party boy; he’s not ready to settle down and I have to face the likely possibility that Drew will want nothing to do with either of us.
The worst part is, months in, I still haven’t told him about the baby. Part of me wonders if I should ever tell him at all, but I don’t think this is something I can keep from him in the long term. Drew isn’t stupid. He’s going to be able to figure out, when I end up with a kid, that he’s very likely the father. But even if I could somehow conceal it, it wouldn’t be right. Maybe he won’t want anything to do with the baby, but he deserves the chance to get to know his daughter if he wants it.
It helps that I haven’t seen Drew since we parted, haven’t let him near me.
He’s tried, of course, asking me to come visit. I told him I’m busy, which wasn’t really a lie, and then when he insisted that he needed me in an official capacity two weeks ago, I had to get creative.
I’d claimed a family emergency would keep me in Ohio indefinitely, probably until the tour resumes next month. Strictly speaking, that also isn’t a lie. I do have a family emergency of sorts, and I am in Ohio with my parents, but the whole truth is I couldn’t see him, that I’m not ready to see him. I need time to think.
Weeks later, I’m still thinking.
Drew had been so sweet, too, telling me that he could cut his sabbatical short and come to me if I needed him. God had it been hard to tell him no. I miss the closeness, hell, I even miss his scent. And a huge part of me wanted to say yes. I want to see him, to be with him again, but I’m afraid, so damn afraid, that the moment he realizes the truth it’ll all be over.
As long as he doesn’t know, there’s at least this sliver of hope that he’ll want both me and our baby. Stupid, stupid daydream, but I’ve been terrified of crushing
I figured I could take the time to regain the professional distance that had been shoved aside for weeks. Weeks I wouldn’t trade, but still, it couldn’t last. Drew will get bored of me eventually, and good as it was with him, I need to reestablish boundaries if we’re going to be able to work together in the long term.
Then I realized I missed my period.
I'd thought maybe it was a side effect of going on birth control, but no such luck. A long overdue physical later, and my doctor congratulated me on impending motherhood.
“What?” I'd asked, incredulous.
“You're going to be a mother,” Dr. Abler had repeated. “As in you're pregnant.”
Drew Avery’s baby. Because it can only be his.
Apparently, I played the odds and . . . lost. Was this losing? Yes, I told myself firmly. A baby was not in my cards! But—well, here I was. Am. Fuck.
I'm tied to Drew for life now, like it or not. I'm his babymama, as they say. But I'm also his manager, and I'm trying to launch my own firm. This can only ruin my reputation, ruin my prospects of landing other clients, and hell, Drew will probably fire me to get me out of his sight, maybe thinking I was trying to trap him and milk him for all he’s worth. I’m sure he wants a baby about as much as he wants a hole in the head.
I know it’s not fair. I know it takes two to tango but it’s not my fault the damn condom broke. If he lets me go, no one will blame him, and I'll become the greedy, grasping whore who tried to trap beloved rock sensation Drew Avery.
Like I said, I'm completely and utterly fucked.
To myself, I can admit that as much as this frightens me, it thrills me, too. When I really allow myself to think about it, I want this. A baby. A baby with Drew. Yeah, it’s going to be hell on my career, yeah, the timing could be better, but I can’t think of the child I carry with anything but love . Our baby .
As stupid as it is, as worried as I am, I want this, I do. I only wish Drew wanted it, too, but I really can’t see it. Drew is too much of a party boy; he’s not ready to settle down and I have to face the likely possibility that Drew will want nothing to do with either of us.
The worst part is, months in, I still haven’t told him about the baby. Part of me wonders if I should ever tell him at all, but I don’t think this is something I can keep from him in the long term. Drew isn’t stupid. He’s going to be able to figure out, when I end up with a kid, that he’s very likely the father. But even if I could somehow conceal it, it wouldn’t be right. Maybe he won’t want anything to do with the baby, but he deserves the chance to get to know his daughter if he wants it.
It helps that I haven’t seen Drew since we parted, haven’t let him near me.
He’s tried, of course, asking me to come visit. I told him I’m busy, which wasn’t really a lie, and then when he insisted that he needed me in an official capacity two weeks ago, I had to get creative.
I’d claimed a family emergency would keep me in Ohio indefinitely, probably until the tour resumes next month. Strictly speaking, that also isn’t a lie. I do have a family emergency of sorts, and I am in Ohio with my parents, but the whole truth is I couldn’t see him, that I’m not ready to see him. I need time to think.
Weeks later, I’m still thinking.
Drew had been so sweet, too, telling me that he could cut his sabbatical short and come to me if I needed him. God had it been hard to tell him no. I miss the closeness, hell, I even miss his scent. And a huge part of me wanted to say yes. I want to see him, to be with him again, but I’m afraid, so damn afraid, that the moment he realizes the truth it’ll all be over.
As long as he doesn’t know, there’s at least this sliver of hope that he’ll want both me and our baby. Stupid, stupid daydream, but I’ve been terrified of crushing
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