Read Online Roadkill TUEBL Edition by Leonard Kirke - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Leonard Kirke
Tags: Drama, Humor, Death, Magic, Mystery, Spirituality, Philosophy, funny, Ghosts, Comedy, dog, life, spirit, Dead, Happiness, bittersweet, Laugh, scary, alive, burger, burgers, chemical, chemicals, fast food, fox, Grim Reaper, hamburger, joy, Kafka, Kierkegaard, living, Lynch, opossum, possum, racoon, sadness, scare, skunk, wonder
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the ghost of the Possum sprang screaming from
the corpse, soaring right at them. The Dog and Skunk, taken totally by
surprise, screamed in terror.
The Possum's scream melted into hysterical laughter as he
stood before them, and he fell to the ground. His voice was labored as he tried
to speak amidst his cackles.
"Sorry...sorry! Sorry guys! I just...I just..." He
laughed so hard he was shaking. The Dog and Skunk stared at him in total
disbelief. "I didn't mean to be such a tool, but I just couldn't...I
couldn't help myself!"
The Dog and the Skunk's bewilderment turned into anger as
they watched him giggle uncontrollably. "I just thought, you know, when am
I ever going to get the chance to scare someone like that again?" With
that, the Possum, who was struggling to regain his composure and stand up
again, collapsed back onto the ground in another fit of laughter.
They were clearly not amused. They scoffed at the Possum and
continued on their way. The Possum, his laughter finally beginning to subside,
struggled to get up and run after them.
"Hey, hey, don't be that way! I was just foolin ' around! Playin ' possum,
you know? It's in my blood!"
The Dog and the Skunk paused, gave the Possum a dirty look,
and continued walking on.
"Oh, okay, I get it." The Possum's tone had
suddenly shifted, now he sounded sarcastic and annoyed. "We're dead, so we
all have to be SOMBER! Oh yeah, I'm waaaaay out of
line, trying to lighten the mood after I just DIED! Fine." Suddenly, a
note of trembling despair could be heard in his voice. "If all I have now
is just some dull, humorless wasteland of a world, then I don't want to live in
it either. Goodbye."
A large semi-truck was barreling down the road at that
moment. The Possum ran right out in front of it. His eyes were shut tight as he
braced for the impact. Taking notice, the Dog and the Skunk were now horrified
and apologetic.
"STOP IT! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" screamed the Dog.
"WE'RE SORRY!" the Skunk yelled. "WE'RE
SORRY! PLEASE JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY! GET OUT OF THE -"
It was too late. The semi-truck was already upon the Possum.
"Oh, no..." whimpered the Skunk. She and the Dog
stared at their feet, overcome with regret.
"I never thought..." the Dog began to say, "I
never thought he would do tha -"
At that moment, the semi-truck's trailer finished passing
them, the Possum leapt from the spot where he'd been standing, screaming as
loud as he could, just like before. Once again, the Dog and the Skunk shrieked
in terror. The Possum began laughing hysterically on the ground.
"I...I can't believe...I got you...I got you
again..."
The Dog was furious now. He had to fight to keep himself
from raising his voice.
"Yeah. Ha ha . Real funny.
Goodnight. Goodbye."
He and the Skunk, indignant once more, resumed their
journey. They left the Possum behind as he rolled around on the ground, still
cackling. Finally, after they put some distance between themselves and the
Possum, he managed to get back up and ran after them.
"Hey, hey! I'm sorry! No more pranks, I promise! It's
just...I've been out here all night trying to find something to do. I got hit
by a car a few hours ago. I've just been wandering around ever since."
"Same here," the Skunk replied dryly, "but in
our case, our manners survived."
"Listen, I'll make it up to you!" the Possum
exclaimed in a repentant tone, "I know a place up ahead where you can eat.
Are you hungry?"
The Dog and the Skunk exchanged suspicious glances.
"Yeah, we're hungry," said the Dog. "We're
fine on our own, though."
"Come on, I can take you right to it!" the Possum
pleaded.
Under her breath, the Skunk spoke to the Dog.
"Actually, I AM kind of starving right now. Let's let
him take us to the food and if he's still acting like a moron, we can ditch
him."
The Dog looked from the Skunk to the Possum and back again.
"Alright. You can take us to the food," the Dog
said, "but no more pranks."
"Awesome! It's this way!"
The Possum scurried on ahead as the
the corpse, soaring right at them. The Dog and Skunk, taken totally by
surprise, screamed in terror.
The Possum's scream melted into hysterical laughter as he
stood before them, and he fell to the ground. His voice was labored as he tried
to speak amidst his cackles.
"Sorry...sorry! Sorry guys! I just...I just..." He
laughed so hard he was shaking. The Dog and Skunk stared at him in total
disbelief. "I didn't mean to be such a tool, but I just couldn't...I
couldn't help myself!"
The Dog and the Skunk's bewilderment turned into anger as
they watched him giggle uncontrollably. "I just thought, you know, when am
I ever going to get the chance to scare someone like that again?" With
that, the Possum, who was struggling to regain his composure and stand up
again, collapsed back onto the ground in another fit of laughter.
They were clearly not amused. They scoffed at the Possum and
continued on their way. The Possum, his laughter finally beginning to subside,
struggled to get up and run after them.
"Hey, hey, don't be that way! I was just foolin ' around! Playin ' possum,
you know? It's in my blood!"
The Dog and the Skunk paused, gave the Possum a dirty look,
and continued walking on.
"Oh, okay, I get it." The Possum's tone had
suddenly shifted, now he sounded sarcastic and annoyed. "We're dead, so we
all have to be SOMBER! Oh yeah, I'm waaaaay out of
line, trying to lighten the mood after I just DIED! Fine." Suddenly, a
note of trembling despair could be heard in his voice. "If all I have now
is just some dull, humorless wasteland of a world, then I don't want to live in
it either. Goodbye."
A large semi-truck was barreling down the road at that
moment. The Possum ran right out in front of it. His eyes were shut tight as he
braced for the impact. Taking notice, the Dog and the Skunk were now horrified
and apologetic.
"STOP IT! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" screamed the Dog.
"WE'RE SORRY!" the Skunk yelled. "WE'RE
SORRY! PLEASE JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY! GET OUT OF THE -"
It was too late. The semi-truck was already upon the Possum.
"Oh, no..." whimpered the Skunk. She and the Dog
stared at their feet, overcome with regret.
"I never thought..." the Dog began to say, "I
never thought he would do tha -"
At that moment, the semi-truck's trailer finished passing
them, the Possum leapt from the spot where he'd been standing, screaming as
loud as he could, just like before. Once again, the Dog and the Skunk shrieked
in terror. The Possum began laughing hysterically on the ground.
"I...I can't believe...I got you...I got you
again..."
The Dog was furious now. He had to fight to keep himself
from raising his voice.
"Yeah. Ha ha . Real funny.
Goodnight. Goodbye."
He and the Skunk, indignant once more, resumed their
journey. They left the Possum behind as he rolled around on the ground, still
cackling. Finally, after they put some distance between themselves and the
Possum, he managed to get back up and ran after them.
"Hey, hey! I'm sorry! No more pranks, I promise! It's
just...I've been out here all night trying to find something to do. I got hit
by a car a few hours ago. I've just been wandering around ever since."
"Same here," the Skunk replied dryly, "but in
our case, our manners survived."
"Listen, I'll make it up to you!" the Possum
exclaimed in a repentant tone, "I know a place up ahead where you can eat.
Are you hungry?"
The Dog and the Skunk exchanged suspicious glances.
"Yeah, we're hungry," said the Dog. "We're
fine on our own, though."
"Come on, I can take you right to it!" the Possum
pleaded.
Under her breath, the Skunk spoke to the Dog.
"Actually, I AM kind of starving right now. Let's let
him take us to the food and if he's still acting like a moron, we can ditch
him."
The Dog looked from the Skunk to the Possum and back again.
"Alright. You can take us to the food," the Dog
said, "but no more pranks."
"Awesome! It's this way!"
The Possum scurried on ahead as the
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