Read Online RIDE (A Stone Kings Motorcycle Club Romance) by Daphne Loveling - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Daphne Loveling
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to move her to a care facility. My older sister, Patricia, lived a little over an hour away with her husband and family. She didn’t want Mom’s house, so when we split up what little was left of the estate, we agreed that I would take it as part of my half.
So far, I hadn’t made any decisions yet about whether to stay here or sell the place and move back to Seattle. As much as I missed life in a bigger city, I liked my job and my colleagues here. And I liked the idea of Zoe growing up in an actual neighborhood, with actual kids in it, instead of having to schedule play dates all the time.
Mrs. Hayes had known my mother, of course, and had seen from a distance her slow decline. When things started to get really rough, she reached out to me and offered to babysit Zoe whenever I needed it. The two of them had really hit it off, and Mrs. Hayes had become the grandmother Zoe would never have in my own mom.
Zoe had had a very active day, and she was babbling excitedly about everything she had done at pre-K as I made us dinner. I opened a bottle of white wine, poured myself a glass and let her talk. After dinner, we played checkers. Mrs. Hayes had taught her a few weeks ago, and it was her new favorite game.
Thankfully, Zoe had had such a busy day that by bedtime, she was exhausted. By the time we finished reading her picture book together, her eyes were drooping, and I turned on the nightlight and crept out of the room, knowing that she’d be conked out within minutes.
Back downstairs in the living room, I sank down on the couch and picked up the glass I had left half-drunk on the coffee table. It was warm by now, and I made a face and set it back down after one sip. I clicked on the TV and flipped through the channels with the sound down, but there wasn’t really anything on that looked interesting. Eventually, I just left it on mute and went to the kitchen to refresh my glass.
I stared at the screen without really seeing it as I mindlessly sipped my now-slightly-less warm wine. Without the whirlwind of activity that was my daughter to distract me, my mind went inevitably back to Trig and the events of earlier that day.
The shock and anger I had felt had dissipated somewhat. In their place came a quiet ache of loneliness that I hadn’t felt in a while.
I had been a single mom for almost three years now — ever since I had finally found the strength to leave Zoe’s dad and file for divorce. My recent disastrous date with Dr. Kevin Larkin notwithstanding, I had more or less reconciled myself to being single for the foreseeable future. I just had never had good luck with men.
And most of the time, the idea of it just being me and Zoe was fine. It was a little tough sometimes, being the only parent. But it was also simpler, in a way. The only thing I had to worry about when I was at home was being a mom. Not a lover, not a wife. Just a mom.
But it also required that I more or less ignored the fact that I was also a woman.
After my date with Kevin, I told myself I was actually relieved to have “proof” that dating just wasn’t worth it. All the fantasies about having someone to share my life with were just that — fantasies. The reality was having to expend tons of energy stroking a man’s ego, in exchange for a fleeting compliment, or an hour of sexual relief now and again. I told myself it wasn’t worth it. After all, that was why vibrators had been invented. Most of the sexual satisfaction, with none of the accompanying baggage.
But of course, there was more to it than that.
What I really wanted was companionship. Intimacy. An actual adult to talk to when I got home from work. Was that so much to ask for?
If the date with Kevin had reminded me how elusive such a simple thing was to find, something about seeing Caleb again today just made it feel even worse. But unlike Kevin, who made me want to proclaim my allegiance to the Perpetually Single Girls’ Club, Caleb ( Trig , I reminded myself sternly) made
So far, I hadn’t made any decisions yet about whether to stay here or sell the place and move back to Seattle. As much as I missed life in a bigger city, I liked my job and my colleagues here. And I liked the idea of Zoe growing up in an actual neighborhood, with actual kids in it, instead of having to schedule play dates all the time.
Mrs. Hayes had known my mother, of course, and had seen from a distance her slow decline. When things started to get really rough, she reached out to me and offered to babysit Zoe whenever I needed it. The two of them had really hit it off, and Mrs. Hayes had become the grandmother Zoe would never have in my own mom.
Zoe had had a very active day, and she was babbling excitedly about everything she had done at pre-K as I made us dinner. I opened a bottle of white wine, poured myself a glass and let her talk. After dinner, we played checkers. Mrs. Hayes had taught her a few weeks ago, and it was her new favorite game.
Thankfully, Zoe had had such a busy day that by bedtime, she was exhausted. By the time we finished reading her picture book together, her eyes were drooping, and I turned on the nightlight and crept out of the room, knowing that she’d be conked out within minutes.
Back downstairs in the living room, I sank down on the couch and picked up the glass I had left half-drunk on the coffee table. It was warm by now, and I made a face and set it back down after one sip. I clicked on the TV and flipped through the channels with the sound down, but there wasn’t really anything on that looked interesting. Eventually, I just left it on mute and went to the kitchen to refresh my glass.
I stared at the screen without really seeing it as I mindlessly sipped my now-slightly-less warm wine. Without the whirlwind of activity that was my daughter to distract me, my mind went inevitably back to Trig and the events of earlier that day.
The shock and anger I had felt had dissipated somewhat. In their place came a quiet ache of loneliness that I hadn’t felt in a while.
I had been a single mom for almost three years now — ever since I had finally found the strength to leave Zoe’s dad and file for divorce. My recent disastrous date with Dr. Kevin Larkin notwithstanding, I had more or less reconciled myself to being single for the foreseeable future. I just had never had good luck with men.
And most of the time, the idea of it just being me and Zoe was fine. It was a little tough sometimes, being the only parent. But it was also simpler, in a way. The only thing I had to worry about when I was at home was being a mom. Not a lover, not a wife. Just a mom.
But it also required that I more or less ignored the fact that I was also a woman.
After my date with Kevin, I told myself I was actually relieved to have “proof” that dating just wasn’t worth it. All the fantasies about having someone to share my life with were just that — fantasies. The reality was having to expend tons of energy stroking a man’s ego, in exchange for a fleeting compliment, or an hour of sexual relief now and again. I told myself it wasn’t worth it. After all, that was why vibrators had been invented. Most of the sexual satisfaction, with none of the accompanying baggage.
But of course, there was more to it than that.
What I really wanted was companionship. Intimacy. An actual adult to talk to when I got home from work. Was that so much to ask for?
If the date with Kevin had reminded me how elusive such a simple thing was to find, something about seeing Caleb again today just made it feel even worse. But unlike Kevin, who made me want to proclaim my allegiance to the Perpetually Single Girls’ Club, Caleb ( Trig , I reminded myself sternly) made
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