alone?” Gabe asked, knocking on Sam’s door.
Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah,” he said as Gabe hesitantly peeked in. “Did you think I’d have someone in here with me?”
“I was hopeful,” Gabe said with a shrug. His stubble was shadowing his square jaw, but his face gleamed. “Still haven’t talked to—”
“ Don’t fucking say her name.”
Gabe nodded and muttered, “Guess that’s a no.”
Sam shot him a look.
Turning toward the door, Gabe stopped. “Oh, I bought some donuts this morning at the grocery store. And I ran into your mom. She wants you to call her—she’s worried.”
Just as he was about to leave, he turned back once more. “Can I ask you a question?”
Sam’s gaze shifted downward with his brow pinched and he lay back on his bed.
“What did she do?”
At the sound of the question, Sam tipped his head back forcefully onto the pillow and rubbed his face again. “What the fuck do you think she did?” His hands flew up. “What would be so severe that I would choose to live with you over being with her?”
“Jesus.” Gabe scratched his jaw in thought. “With who? I mean, how do you know?”
“I just know. She’s probably with him right now too. She keeps sending me cryptic messages; not saying how she wants to get back together, but that she wants to explain.” Sam threw his phone at Gabe. “Take a look, there’s like a half dozen of them in the past few days.”
Gabe scrolled through Sam’s messages. He read the one from earlier that day and then scrolled down until he had seen enough.
I never meant to hurt you. Sent May 4
Please talk to me. Send me a message. Anything. Just a number or a letter so I know you’re getting these. Sent May 4
It’s not what you think. I know that doesn’t explain anything, and it doesn’t excuse what I’ve done. But I need you to know. I need you to understand. Sent May 3
I love you and I’m sorry. Sent May 2
I’m so sorry I bailed. I have a few things I need to take care of and I need time to think. I don’t expect you to forgive me when I can’t begin to forgive myself. I just need some time. Sent May 2
“Oh, man. She’s stalking you!”
Sam rose from the bed and snapped the phone from Gabe. “She is not stalking me.” I guess I won’t tell him how many times she’s tried to actually call.
Gabe threw his hands up, not sure where Sam’s anger was coming from. “Wow. Now you’re defending her. Seems a little fucked up to me, man. Don’t get me wrong, I like Charlie and all, but if she’s fucking around on you…”
“This isn’t like her. That’s why I’m so messed up. Nothing about this makes any sense, including the fact that I’m still hung up on her.” Sam looked down, fiddling with his phone. “I know it’s only been a few weeks, but when Tammy cheated I didn’t really care. I mean, I did, but not like this. With Tammy I was annoyed, angry. With Ch… Well, now I’m just fucking obliterated.”
“I can tell. You can’t even bring yourself to say her name,” Gabe mumbled. “Have you tried talking to her?”
“Hell no. Even thinking about speaking to her takes my adrenaline to scary places. Look, I just need need a few days to figure all of this shit out. My entire future has changed now and I just need to get my mind wrapped around it all.”
Gabe nodded. “Well, if you wanna talk, you know where to find me.” Gabe reached for the knob. “Oh, and if you wanna hang out on Friday, we can grab a few drinks somewhere,” he said, just before shutting the door behind him.
Sam sat back down on the bed, his eyes traveling across the room again, finding a strange comfort in staring at Charlie’s lazy coat slung over the chair. Why, Charlie? Why would you do this to us? And should I forgive you? Did you just get scared of a lifetime of commitment with me? No, no, no. I saw your face when I asked you to marry me; you never looked happier. Maybe that’s the problem. She
Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah,” he said as Gabe hesitantly peeked in. “Did you think I’d have someone in here with me?”
“I was hopeful,” Gabe said with a shrug. His stubble was shadowing his square jaw, but his face gleamed. “Still haven’t talked to—”
“ Don’t fucking say her name.”
Gabe nodded and muttered, “Guess that’s a no.”
Sam shot him a look.
Turning toward the door, Gabe stopped. “Oh, I bought some donuts this morning at the grocery store. And I ran into your mom. She wants you to call her—she’s worried.”
Just as he was about to leave, he turned back once more. “Can I ask you a question?”
Sam’s gaze shifted downward with his brow pinched and he lay back on his bed.
“What did she do?”
At the sound of the question, Sam tipped his head back forcefully onto the pillow and rubbed his face again. “What the fuck do you think she did?” His hands flew up. “What would be so severe that I would choose to live with you over being with her?”
“Jesus.” Gabe scratched his jaw in thought. “With who? I mean, how do you know?”
“I just know. She’s probably with him right now too. She keeps sending me cryptic messages; not saying how she wants to get back together, but that she wants to explain.” Sam threw his phone at Gabe. “Take a look, there’s like a half dozen of them in the past few days.”
Gabe scrolled through Sam’s messages. He read the one from earlier that day and then scrolled down until he had seen enough.
I never meant to hurt you. Sent May 4
Please talk to me. Send me a message. Anything. Just a number or a letter so I know you’re getting these. Sent May 4
It’s not what you think. I know that doesn’t explain anything, and it doesn’t excuse what I’ve done. But I need you to know. I need you to understand. Sent May 3
I love you and I’m sorry. Sent May 2
I’m so sorry I bailed. I have a few things I need to take care of and I need time to think. I don’t expect you to forgive me when I can’t begin to forgive myself. I just need some time. Sent May 2
“Oh, man. She’s stalking you!”
Sam rose from the bed and snapped the phone from Gabe. “She is not stalking me.” I guess I won’t tell him how many times she’s tried to actually call.
Gabe threw his hands up, not sure where Sam’s anger was coming from. “Wow. Now you’re defending her. Seems a little fucked up to me, man. Don’t get me wrong, I like Charlie and all, but if she’s fucking around on you…”
“This isn’t like her. That’s why I’m so messed up. Nothing about this makes any sense, including the fact that I’m still hung up on her.” Sam looked down, fiddling with his phone. “I know it’s only been a few weeks, but when Tammy cheated I didn’t really care. I mean, I did, but not like this. With Tammy I was annoyed, angry. With Ch… Well, now I’m just fucking obliterated.”
“I can tell. You can’t even bring yourself to say her name,” Gabe mumbled. “Have you tried talking to her?”
“Hell no. Even thinking about speaking to her takes my adrenaline to scary places. Look, I just need need a few days to figure all of this shit out. My entire future has changed now and I just need to get my mind wrapped around it all.”
Gabe nodded. “Well, if you wanna talk, you know where to find me.” Gabe reached for the knob. “Oh, and if you wanna hang out on Friday, we can grab a few drinks somewhere,” he said, just before shutting the door behind him.
Sam sat back down on the bed, his eyes traveling across the room again, finding a strange comfort in staring at Charlie’s lazy coat slung over the chair. Why, Charlie? Why would you do this to us? And should I forgive you? Did you just get scared of a lifetime of commitment with me? No, no, no. I saw your face when I asked you to marry me; you never looked happier. Maybe that’s the problem. She
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