Read Online Retief at Large by Keith Laumer - Free Book Online Page A

"Well,
not until after lunch, at least. And I hereby authorize you to postpone market
research until further notice; we're facing a possible holocaust in a matter of
hours!"
     
                "What's
it all about?"
     
                Magnan
plucked a sheet of yellow paper from his desk and handed it to Retief.
"This came in over the autotyper forty minutes ago."
     
    -
    UNIDENTIFIED
CONVOY COMPRISING FIFTY UHLAN CLASS VESSELS SIGHTED ON COURSE FOR YALC III ETA
1500 GST 33 OCT GSC. SIGNED POMFROY, ENSIGN PATROL NAVY 786-G.
    -
     
                "Uhlans,"
Retief said. "Those are thousand-man transports. And oh-nine-hundred on
the thirty-third is just about two hours from now."
     
                "This
could be an invasion, Retief! A major breach of the peace! Can you imagine how
it would look in my record if the planet were invaded under my very nose!"
     
                "Tough
on the natives, too," Retief commented. "What action have you taken
so far?"
     
                "Action?
Why, I've canceled this afternoon's social engagements, checked out-going
passenger schedules ... and sharpened a number of pencils."
     
                "Have
you tried contacting this Ensign Pomfroy for a little more detail?"
     
                "There's
no one on duty in the Message Center but a local Code Clerk. He's trying to
raise him now." Magnan depressed a button on his desk. "Oo-Gilitit,
have you met with any success?"
     
                "Pomfroy-Tic
all same have organ cluster up ventral orifice—"
     
                "Gilitit,
I've warned you to watch your language!" Magnan roared, 'it's no habit for
a communications man to get into!" He clicked off. "Confounded
locals! It's hopeless, of course. Our equipment was never designed for pinpointing
moving patrol boats at four A-U's."
     
                "How
do the Yalcan's feel about the situation?" asked Retief, playing with the
goblet still in his hand.
     
                Magnan
blinked. "Why, as to that, I—all—was just going to call Oo-Rilikuk."
Magnan punched keys, tuned in a bland yellow and blue face with eyes like gold
pinheads, and vertically-hinged jaws busy with an oily drumstick.
     
                "Ah,
there, Magnan," a voice like an unoiled wheel said. "Just finished up
my lunch. Roast haunch of giant locust. Delicious." A tongue like a length
of green silken rope flicked a tidbit from a corner of the lipless mouth.
     
                "Oo-Rilikuk,
do you know anything of a large convoy due here today?"
     
                Rilikuk
dabbed at his chin with a gossamer napkin. "I seem to recall issuing a
number of visas to Groaci nationals in recent weeks."
     
                "Groaci?
Fifty shiploads of them?"
     
                "Something
like that," the Yalcan said carelessly. "By the way, if you haven't
already made arrangements, perhaps you'd care to join my Bachelor's Group for
the upcoming festivities—"
     
                "You're
not concerned? Perhaps you're not aware of the insidious reputation the Groaci
enjoy!"
     
                "I
don't mind saying I've exercised a trifle of influence to procure a choice mud
pocket. The rich, oleaginous kind, you know. And there'll be no shortage of
nubile females along—though you're not organized to appreciate the latter, it's
true—"
     
                "May
I ask the state of the planetary defenses, Rilikuk? I'm warning you, Groaci
can't be trusted!"
     
                "Planetary
defenses?" Rilikuk issued a chirrup of amusement. "As confirmed
pacifists, we've never felt the need for such an extravagance. Now, I'll be
leaving the office in a few minutes. Suppose I drop by for you. We'll go on to
my place for dinner, then off to the bog— "
     
                "You're
leaving the Foreign Office at a moment like this?" Magnan yelped.
"They'll