eyes were foggy and bloodshot.
Makenna remembered smiling and despite being a little uncomfortable from the delivery, completely flooded with joy. She was only twenty-four when Paige was born. Adam was twenty-six and even though he came from money back in Rhode Island, they were both just getting started in their careers and had very little money of their own. Looking back, they probably had no business having a baby, but if anyone would have told them that at the time, they would have both rolled their eyes and laughed. There was nothing they couldn’t do back then. Adam had held her hand, cut the cord, and cried while he kissed his daughter. The morning after, he was attentive and so gentle. When they left the hospital, it took twenty minutes for him to secure and recheck the elephant-print car seat. Before they pulled out of the hospital, he had looked at her and said, “Feels like we should at least get a manual or something, right?”
Kenna had laughed and touched his hand. “Can we stop for ice cream?”
“Still?”
“Oh, yeah. I think the little peach left me the cravings.”
“She’s totally a peach. Huh, she has a nickname now.”
“Fuzzy.” Makenna had reached behind her to touch the back of the car seat, needing contact with their new little person.
Adam had kissed her hand and later, while they sat in the car eating ice cream, he told her he was the happiest he’d ever been in his life, probably the happiest it was going to get. Told her that if it was all over tomorrow, he would be good, “all set with my girls,” he’d said. Kenna would play that day, his words, over and over again in her heart for years after he was gone. Five short weeks later, she was cremating him and sprinkling him along the Divide Road on Catalina Island, baby Paige strapped to her chest in a big white sun hat. She had cried all the way up and all the way back down.
“Mama, the waffles are in the slots, but I need you to push the buttons because I’m not allowed.”
Makenna shook herself free of the memory, swallowed back the ache, and walked toward the kitchen.
“That’s right, Peach. No toaster buttons without me. Those listening ears do work.”
“Sometimes.” Paige was standing on the step stool, syrup in hand, hovering over the toaster when Kenna came into the kitchen.
“Okay, push them.” Makenna took a Coke out of the refrigerator, kissed her daughter on the top of her head, and not for the first time, was so grateful for the magic Adam had left behind.
Kenna and Paige arrived at Libby’s Little Breakfast Place at 5:45 that same morning. She wasn’t sure how they’d managed to be early for the Rye family meeting, especially since it had taken them a good five minutes to find Fritters, the pig. He’d slipped between the bed and the wall last night. With Paige flat on her belly holding the flashlight, Kenna strained under the bed and reached Fritters with the tips of her fingers and rescued him from the dust bunnies. Kenna would need to move the bed out later and clean. Where the hell did all the dust bunnies come from? She barely gave it a thought because they were going to be late. Paige had chosen her striped tights and pink corduroy dress, and after a few hems and haws, she had let Kenna put her hair in two quick braids. She remembered her lunch box this time, made what Paige was now calling “the boring lunch,” and strapped Paige into her booster seat by 5:30. It was remarkable timing for the morning routine, and as Kenna sipped her Coke on the ride to Libby’s, she thought about him.
Every time she made lunch, she thought about him, which was ridiculous. He’d been making Paige’s lunch for several months before the dream, and when she found out, he seemed embarrassed and dismissed it, but she thanked him and kissed his cheek. Maybe she started seeing him differently then. Maybe she still remembered her lips touching his cheek.
Trixie, she told herself, remember Trixie? Or how about
Makenna remembered smiling and despite being a little uncomfortable from the delivery, completely flooded with joy. She was only twenty-four when Paige was born. Adam was twenty-six and even though he came from money back in Rhode Island, they were both just getting started in their careers and had very little money of their own. Looking back, they probably had no business having a baby, but if anyone would have told them that at the time, they would have both rolled their eyes and laughed. There was nothing they couldn’t do back then. Adam had held her hand, cut the cord, and cried while he kissed his daughter. The morning after, he was attentive and so gentle. When they left the hospital, it took twenty minutes for him to secure and recheck the elephant-print car seat. Before they pulled out of the hospital, he had looked at her and said, “Feels like we should at least get a manual or something, right?”
Kenna had laughed and touched his hand. “Can we stop for ice cream?”
“Still?”
“Oh, yeah. I think the little peach left me the cravings.”
“She’s totally a peach. Huh, she has a nickname now.”
“Fuzzy.” Makenna had reached behind her to touch the back of the car seat, needing contact with their new little person.
Adam had kissed her hand and later, while they sat in the car eating ice cream, he told her he was the happiest he’d ever been in his life, probably the happiest it was going to get. Told her that if it was all over tomorrow, he would be good, “all set with my girls,” he’d said. Kenna would play that day, his words, over and over again in her heart for years after he was gone. Five short weeks later, she was cremating him and sprinkling him along the Divide Road on Catalina Island, baby Paige strapped to her chest in a big white sun hat. She had cried all the way up and all the way back down.
“Mama, the waffles are in the slots, but I need you to push the buttons because I’m not allowed.”
Makenna shook herself free of the memory, swallowed back the ache, and walked toward the kitchen.
“That’s right, Peach. No toaster buttons without me. Those listening ears do work.”
“Sometimes.” Paige was standing on the step stool, syrup in hand, hovering over the toaster when Kenna came into the kitchen.
“Okay, push them.” Makenna took a Coke out of the refrigerator, kissed her daughter on the top of her head, and not for the first time, was so grateful for the magic Adam had left behind.
Kenna and Paige arrived at Libby’s Little Breakfast Place at 5:45 that same morning. She wasn’t sure how they’d managed to be early for the Rye family meeting, especially since it had taken them a good five minutes to find Fritters, the pig. He’d slipped between the bed and the wall last night. With Paige flat on her belly holding the flashlight, Kenna strained under the bed and reached Fritters with the tips of her fingers and rescued him from the dust bunnies. Kenna would need to move the bed out later and clean. Where the hell did all the dust bunnies come from? She barely gave it a thought because they were going to be late. Paige had chosen her striped tights and pink corduroy dress, and after a few hems and haws, she had let Kenna put her hair in two quick braids. She remembered her lunch box this time, made what Paige was now calling “the boring lunch,” and strapped Paige into her booster seat by 5:30. It was remarkable timing for the morning routine, and as Kenna sipped her Coke on the ride to Libby’s, she thought about him.
Every time she made lunch, she thought about him, which was ridiculous. He’d been making Paige’s lunch for several months before the dream, and when she found out, he seemed embarrassed and dismissed it, but she thanked him and kissed his cheek. Maybe she started seeing him differently then. Maybe she still remembered her lips touching his cheek.
Trixie, she told herself, remember Trixie? Or how about
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