Read Online Regular Guy by Sarah Weeks - Free Book Online Page B

on his hands to helpbreak the picking cycle, and the bags were supposed to keep it from getting all over everything. He fell asleep on the couch and the bags broke open. I was in the kitchen frosting a cake, and by the time I checked on him he’d somehow managed to get himself covered pretty much head to toe with the stuff. My couch will never be the same.”
    â€œWhat were you doing with that knife, Mom?”
    â€œI was cutting the cake when I heard something outside the window. I thought it might be Sammy and Val’s cat making a mess in the bushes. Apparently it’s tired of your old sandbox and has taken a shine to my lilac bushes, the little poot.”
    â€œWere you going to stab it?”
    â€œOf course not. I forgot I even had the knife in my hand. I just ran outside when I heard the commotion in the bushes.”
    â€œI thought you were going to kill me,” I said, and I was surprised by the flood of emotion I felt as I said it.
    My mother put the book down next to her and put her arms around me.
    â€œApparently a vivid imagination is one of the many genetic traits you failed to notice you had inherited from your parents, you nut,” she said.
    â€œOh, yeah? Name another.”
    â€œEver noticed your father’s earlobes?”
    â€œNo,” I said.
    â€œWell, come take a look. They’re notched, and so are yours.”
    I held the screen door open for my mom, and we went inside to examine those wonderful lobes.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
    T he next morning I woke up feeling lighter than I’d felt in a long time. I knew I was where I belonged. I lay in bed, running my fingers over the notches at the tops of my earlobes and listening to the sounds in my house. I could hear my parents laughing in the kitchen. My mother’s heels clicked across the floor as she went to turn on the radio. She tuned it in to something jazzy, and I knew when I went down there that she and my dad would probably be dancing.
    I got up and opened my top drawer. It was full of brand-new white underwear. Iopened the sock drawer—the pairs were still unmatched, but somehow it didn’t bother me. I pulled on my clothes and went down to the kitchen. Just as I’d predicted, my mom and dad were doing a tango. Mom’s head was thrown back and her eyes were closed. Instead of a red rose between her teeth, she gripped a plastic spatula. Everything was back to normal.
    â€œGood morning!” I called as I grabbed a pancake off the plate, folded it, and shoved it into my mouth.
    My parents stopped dancing and watched as I downed another pancake and then gulped some orange juice.
    â€œYou feeling all right, son?” my father asked.
    â€œYeah, Dad, I feel fine.”
    â€œWe were worried about you yesterday, Guy,” he said.
    â€œI know, I was worried about me too. But I’m fine now. Really.”
    My father reached into his pocket andhanded me a stack of baseball cards.
    â€œI’m still looking for a couple of them.”
    â€œForget about it, Dad. This is fine. Really. Thanks.”
    I slipped the cards into my back pocket and left my parents standing in the kitchen hand in hand as I headed off to the fort to meet Buzz.
    Â 
    â€œSo, what did I look like when I fainted?” Buzz asked.
    â€œLike sleeping beauty, only ugly.” I laughed.
    â€œI’m rubber, you’re glue—” he started, but he stopped mid-sentence when Bob-o stuck his head in the door. Buzz and I looked at each other.
    â€œUh, come on in, Bob-o,” I said.
    Bob-o stepped inside. He looked different. It took me a minute to figure out that he was wearing new pants—long enough to cover his socks. His hair was also slicked back. He still looked weird, but somehow it was a little better.
    â€œWhat’s up, Bob-o?” Buzz asked.
    Bob-o did his shrug thing and stuck his hands in his pockets. Then he looked at me. He said something, but I couldn’t hear