been as bad as in the higher elevations. Returning to civilization was always a tricky process for him. He far preferred the quiet of his mountain retreat to the noise and fast pace of the real world.
“What day is it?” Hope asked, running her hand down her braid and staring out the front windshield.
“Wednesday.”
“Wednesday what? I don’t even know the date.”
“December twenty-eighth.”
She shifted and he pulled his gaze from the road long enough to glance at her surprised expression.
“That means I crashed on Christmas day.”
He grunted his response, something he knew she hated, but did anyway. Doing things with the intent to irritate another person wasn’t really like him, but with Hope, he enjoyed it.
“John.”
“What?”
“I crashed at your house on Christmas day.”
“I know that.” He was well aware what day she’d entered his life.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He blew out a breath. Not this again. She seemed to think he was purposely keeping information from her. “I guess I figured you knew that.”
“I couldn’t even remember my name, why would I know it was Christmas?”
He shrugged, still not getting why this was important. She seemed to fixate on the weirdest things.
“No wonder you were mad,” she said after too short a silence.
“I wasn’t mad.”
“Sure you were. You didn’t want me there.”
True enough, but not for the reasons she thought.
“Geez, John. I ruined your Christmas.”
“No, you didn’t.” That he could say with absolute certainty. She’d saved his Christmas. And possibly him.
“No wonder you had no food in your house. You were headed out for the holiday. Were you going to visit your family?”
He gritted his teeth, a headache forming behind his eyes. “No.”
“Friends?”
“No.”
From the corner of his eye, he could see her tilt her head. “Then how were you going to spend the day?”
“Alone.”
“Don’t you have family?”
He sighed. “Hope…”
“Humor me, John. Everything is a blank slate in my mind. I don’t remember Christmases past. All I remember is blood and murder and this sadness that follows me. Tell me about your family. Let me live vicariously through you.”
He understood. He’d been in her position before. She needed to connect to something. And while he didn’t really want to do it, he told her about his family, leaving out that he hadn’t seen them in years. That it had been his decision to sever all contact with them. That there were times he thought of them with deep grief and longing, but didn’t know how to reach out.
“My mom and dad live in a retirement community in Arizona. My sister, her husband and their brood live in Michigan.” Mary had been pregnant the last time he’d seen her. So that meant he had a niece or nephew he’d never seen. He knew his parents and sister were bewildered by his silence and his refusal to speak to them after his release. He couldn’t explain except to say it’d been easier, less painful to pretend he was dead to them than to see their looks of horror when he’d returned, ravaged from his prison stay, the beatings and the illness that had almost taken his life.
His cellphone chirped and he snatched it, happy to end the conversation.
Hope pushed away her rising frustration. Every time she got close to John, something happened to make him pull away. There was so much he kept hidden. Stuff she felt he needed to face. But she sensed the walls around his soul were high and erected years ago. Would she ever be able to breach them? Then she wondered why she wanted to. Dead bodies and missing memories were enough to keep her occupied. She certainly didn’t need Callahan’s problems as well.
So she concentrated on the passing landscape to see if anything rang a bell, prompted a memory or just looked familiar. While she knew they were in Tennessee heading for Maryland, and even knew the name of the highway, she recognized nothing. One good thing
“What day is it?” Hope asked, running her hand down her braid and staring out the front windshield.
“Wednesday.”
“Wednesday what? I don’t even know the date.”
“December twenty-eighth.”
She shifted and he pulled his gaze from the road long enough to glance at her surprised expression.
“That means I crashed on Christmas day.”
He grunted his response, something he knew she hated, but did anyway. Doing things with the intent to irritate another person wasn’t really like him, but with Hope, he enjoyed it.
“John.”
“What?”
“I crashed at your house on Christmas day.”
“I know that.” He was well aware what day she’d entered his life.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He blew out a breath. Not this again. She seemed to think he was purposely keeping information from her. “I guess I figured you knew that.”
“I couldn’t even remember my name, why would I know it was Christmas?”
He shrugged, still not getting why this was important. She seemed to fixate on the weirdest things.
“No wonder you were mad,” she said after too short a silence.
“I wasn’t mad.”
“Sure you were. You didn’t want me there.”
True enough, but not for the reasons she thought.
“Geez, John. I ruined your Christmas.”
“No, you didn’t.” That he could say with absolute certainty. She’d saved his Christmas. And possibly him.
“No wonder you had no food in your house. You were headed out for the holiday. Were you going to visit your family?”
He gritted his teeth, a headache forming behind his eyes. “No.”
“Friends?”
“No.”
From the corner of his eye, he could see her tilt her head. “Then how were you going to spend the day?”
“Alone.”
“Don’t you have family?”
He sighed. “Hope…”
“Humor me, John. Everything is a blank slate in my mind. I don’t remember Christmases past. All I remember is blood and murder and this sadness that follows me. Tell me about your family. Let me live vicariously through you.”
He understood. He’d been in her position before. She needed to connect to something. And while he didn’t really want to do it, he told her about his family, leaving out that he hadn’t seen them in years. That it had been his decision to sever all contact with them. That there were times he thought of them with deep grief and longing, but didn’t know how to reach out.
“My mom and dad live in a retirement community in Arizona. My sister, her husband and their brood live in Michigan.” Mary had been pregnant the last time he’d seen her. So that meant he had a niece or nephew he’d never seen. He knew his parents and sister were bewildered by his silence and his refusal to speak to them after his release. He couldn’t explain except to say it’d been easier, less painful to pretend he was dead to them than to see their looks of horror when he’d returned, ravaged from his prison stay, the beatings and the illness that had almost taken his life.
His cellphone chirped and he snatched it, happy to end the conversation.
Hope pushed away her rising frustration. Every time she got close to John, something happened to make him pull away. There was so much he kept hidden. Stuff she felt he needed to face. But she sensed the walls around his soul were high and erected years ago. Would she ever be able to breach them? Then she wondered why she wanted to. Dead bodies and missing memories were enough to keep her occupied. She certainly didn’t need Callahan’s problems as well.
So she concentrated on the passing landscape to see if anything rang a bell, prompted a memory or just looked familiar. While she knew they were in Tennessee heading for Maryland, and even knew the name of the highway, she recognized nothing. One good thing
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