back to the mirror of her vanity.
“You made quite the first impression," she said, pulling on an old pair of boots she found in her closet.
“George and Julia are wonderful people. You’re very lucky,” he replied.
Her eyes flitted to the window and she saw that a morning fog had rolled in. The sky was heather gray with rolling clouds and she imagined the smell of rain was hanging in the air. It was the kind of typical October day in Greensburg she’d been missing. The leaves were at their peak and even with the gloomy lack of light, she still cherished the vibrant colors of orange, red and gold hanging in the trees she’d been dreaming about lately. Russell had his eyes fixed outside as well and she saw the wonder on his face as he took it in. A smile overcame her while looking at him. He seemed so naïve and yet somehow wise. The combination was enthralling.
“May I ask you something?” he said in a low, timid voice.
She nodded and dragged a brush through her hair once more, keeping her hands busy. The feeling of his eyes on her was one she was starting to enjoy. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, folding one leg underneath him. He leaned toward her and his eyes became soft.
“You haven‘t been home in a while have you?”
She sighed. It was like he was reading her mind. Like he knew her better than she knew herself. She hadn’t been home in a long time. It seemed like it had been forever now that she was back. And now she couldn’t even pinpoint why she thought leaving would help her deal with the loss of Gabriel. If anything, Somerset made everything worse. Failing at her new life, dropping out of school, taking up with Henry—she’d created a mess. It all felt ridiculous and suddenly she was ashamed.
“It’s been a while. Yeah,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because I’m stupid and pathetic.”
She felt Russell glaring at her. That wasn’t the feeling she liked. She liked the sweet eyes taking her in, not tight, shaming ones. Looking up she saw the disapproval on his face and she felt her walls shoot up.
“It’s true. My life’s a damn Nicholas Sparks novel wrapped in a Taylor Swift song. It’s pathetic,” she said hurriedly, more to herself than to Russell.
"You are anything but pathetic." His voice was low and precise.
Valerie turned away from him and instead looked at herself in the mirror. Searching her own eyes for some reason to believe him, she couldn't help but try to get the last word in.
"How would you know? You don't even know me, Russell."
A minute passed and he didn’t say a word. She felt guilty for snapping. Part of her wanted desperately to believe he did know her, however impossible that seemed.
Finally he spoke. "Did you watch me die?"
A sudden pain rolled through Valerie as the memory flashed behind her eyes. The memory of clinging to Russell's body on the floor of her apartment, her hands covered in his blood. What she wouldn’t give to erase that image from her mind.
"Yes." Her voice was barely a whisper.
He was off the bed and at her side in an instant, kneeling beside her dangerously close.
"And does my heart beat now?" he asked, his eyes tight on her face.
She breathed in his scent, enjoying a slow blink as she did. She wanted to shut her eyes and breathe him in all day long. Slowly, without thinking, she put her hand on his sturdy neck as if he’d commanded it with his thoughts. The warmth of his flesh sent a shock wave through her. Staring at her hand on his skin, she allowed her mind to be honest about how much she’d been wishing to touch him. Before this moment she hadn't been able to admit it to herself. She wanted to let that hand roam. Barely pushing her fingertips up into the place where his throat met his jaw, she felt the rhythmic flow of blood. Pure proof he indeed was alive.
She looked up at his face and noticed his eyes were slammed shut. He looked deep in concentration, pained even, before he shrugged away from her touch.
Slightly
“You made quite the first impression," she said, pulling on an old pair of boots she found in her closet.
“George and Julia are wonderful people. You’re very lucky,” he replied.
Her eyes flitted to the window and she saw that a morning fog had rolled in. The sky was heather gray with rolling clouds and she imagined the smell of rain was hanging in the air. It was the kind of typical October day in Greensburg she’d been missing. The leaves were at their peak and even with the gloomy lack of light, she still cherished the vibrant colors of orange, red and gold hanging in the trees she’d been dreaming about lately. Russell had his eyes fixed outside as well and she saw the wonder on his face as he took it in. A smile overcame her while looking at him. He seemed so naïve and yet somehow wise. The combination was enthralling.
“May I ask you something?” he said in a low, timid voice.
She nodded and dragged a brush through her hair once more, keeping her hands busy. The feeling of his eyes on her was one she was starting to enjoy. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, folding one leg underneath him. He leaned toward her and his eyes became soft.
“You haven‘t been home in a while have you?”
She sighed. It was like he was reading her mind. Like he knew her better than she knew herself. She hadn’t been home in a long time. It seemed like it had been forever now that she was back. And now she couldn’t even pinpoint why she thought leaving would help her deal with the loss of Gabriel. If anything, Somerset made everything worse. Failing at her new life, dropping out of school, taking up with Henry—she’d created a mess. It all felt ridiculous and suddenly she was ashamed.
“It’s been a while. Yeah,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because I’m stupid and pathetic.”
She felt Russell glaring at her. That wasn’t the feeling she liked. She liked the sweet eyes taking her in, not tight, shaming ones. Looking up she saw the disapproval on his face and she felt her walls shoot up.
“It’s true. My life’s a damn Nicholas Sparks novel wrapped in a Taylor Swift song. It’s pathetic,” she said hurriedly, more to herself than to Russell.
"You are anything but pathetic." His voice was low and precise.
Valerie turned away from him and instead looked at herself in the mirror. Searching her own eyes for some reason to believe him, she couldn't help but try to get the last word in.
"How would you know? You don't even know me, Russell."
A minute passed and he didn’t say a word. She felt guilty for snapping. Part of her wanted desperately to believe he did know her, however impossible that seemed.
Finally he spoke. "Did you watch me die?"
A sudden pain rolled through Valerie as the memory flashed behind her eyes. The memory of clinging to Russell's body on the floor of her apartment, her hands covered in his blood. What she wouldn’t give to erase that image from her mind.
"Yes." Her voice was barely a whisper.
He was off the bed and at her side in an instant, kneeling beside her dangerously close.
"And does my heart beat now?" he asked, his eyes tight on her face.
She breathed in his scent, enjoying a slow blink as she did. She wanted to shut her eyes and breathe him in all day long. Slowly, without thinking, she put her hand on his sturdy neck as if he’d commanded it with his thoughts. The warmth of his flesh sent a shock wave through her. Staring at her hand on his skin, she allowed her mind to be honest about how much she’d been wishing to touch him. Before this moment she hadn't been able to admit it to herself. She wanted to let that hand roam. Barely pushing her fingertips up into the place where his throat met his jaw, she felt the rhythmic flow of blood. Pure proof he indeed was alive.
She looked up at his face and noticed his eyes were slammed shut. He looked deep in concentration, pained even, before he shrugged away from her touch.
Slightly
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