inside me was an experience I often enjoyed alone. I would think of Joel then as well. Imagining his hand on my belly, with mine guiding his to the kicks and punches.
Six months into my pregnancy (or so was my best guess), I was really showing. My lower back ached even when I sat down. Caroline remembered her stepsister lying on her side with a pillow between her legs when she was pregnant years before. I gave it a shot, and it did help some in relieving the constant pressure.
“Thanks, Caroline.”
“Anything I can do to help!” Mercifully, Caroline had come around a couple of months ago. We had a real breakthrough session that put a smile back on her face and love back into her heart. Sid was thankful. He had endured a lot those past months and with little to no explanation as to why. He was an excellent boyfriend.
Seth, to his great shame, had slipped on something in the kitchen and bruised his tailbone on the tile. He was mostly couch-ridden, seated on a collection of pillows to keep him from resting directly on his bruise. We watched movie after movie on DVD together, me pregnant and him an invalid. I loved Seth, and he loved spending time with me. I would say that our time together those days meant more to me than he could ever imagine.
Unfortunately, despite the good times spent with Caroline, Sid and Seth, things had remained as tense as ever with Earl. I was wondering how much more of him I could bear, and carefully weighing my options.
He and his group remained in Skylab, caressing their guns and counting their bullets. They’d moved a TV and DVD player up to the addition as well. We’d split the movies, seeing each other only in passing or to swap one film for another.
I knew eventually I’d need to make a move. But for now, I let my body do its work. The life growing inside me was all that mattered. I almost couldn’t believe it was a real human being alive inside me. I longed for an ultrasound, if only to prove to myself that it was really happening, although the occasional kick to my ribs or organs assured me it was. Still, without an image or face, I already felt the inherent need to protect my child, this little person was a part of me. So I waited. And I grew.
*****
I was getting a little stir-crazy at what I’d decided was nearing the seventh month of my pregnancy. My belly seemed to have dropped dramatically in the past week and I’d felt a greater stress on my hips. I was honestly waddling around the house, legs bowing as though to clear a path should the baby decide at any moment to drop out of me.
“We’re heading to the garden, Sara. You good here with Seth?” Sidney and Caroline were dressing for the strangely cool weather in the front hall.
“Actually, mind if I come along?”
“Not at all. Is Seth good here on his own?”
“I can’t see why not.” I stepped into the family room. “Seth, mind if I go to the barn with these two? I need an escape for a couple of hours.”
“You’re going to miss the movie!” he shouted from his plush throne. I smiled at him. “Go on.” He waved me away. “We’ve both seen it like, 10 times in the past year. I’m good.”
“Thanks, Seth. We won’t be long, honest, and then we’ll watch it again, okay?” I laid a hand on his shoulder and he reached up with his, before I followed the other two out of the house. I hopped on the ATV and we pushed out across the field towards the barn.
The bumpy ride over the hardened dirt wasn’t exactly a good idea, but Sid took it slow. The sun would set in a couple of hours so we’d try to get in and out within a reasonable time, so not to have to navigate the dark.
Once inside we pushed on with our chores but all the while I was feeling guilty for having left Seth on his own, in that house, with Earl, Kevin and Fred there to bully him. Suddenly, and for whatever reason that passage from Earl’s notebook popped into my
Six months into my pregnancy (or so was my best guess), I was really showing. My lower back ached even when I sat down. Caroline remembered her stepsister lying on her side with a pillow between her legs when she was pregnant years before. I gave it a shot, and it did help some in relieving the constant pressure.
“Thanks, Caroline.”
“Anything I can do to help!” Mercifully, Caroline had come around a couple of months ago. We had a real breakthrough session that put a smile back on her face and love back into her heart. Sid was thankful. He had endured a lot those past months and with little to no explanation as to why. He was an excellent boyfriend.
Seth, to his great shame, had slipped on something in the kitchen and bruised his tailbone on the tile. He was mostly couch-ridden, seated on a collection of pillows to keep him from resting directly on his bruise. We watched movie after movie on DVD together, me pregnant and him an invalid. I loved Seth, and he loved spending time with me. I would say that our time together those days meant more to me than he could ever imagine.
Unfortunately, despite the good times spent with Caroline, Sid and Seth, things had remained as tense as ever with Earl. I was wondering how much more of him I could bear, and carefully weighing my options.
He and his group remained in Skylab, caressing their guns and counting their bullets. They’d moved a TV and DVD player up to the addition as well. We’d split the movies, seeing each other only in passing or to swap one film for another.
I knew eventually I’d need to make a move. But for now, I let my body do its work. The life growing inside me was all that mattered. I almost couldn’t believe it was a real human being alive inside me. I longed for an ultrasound, if only to prove to myself that it was really happening, although the occasional kick to my ribs or organs assured me it was. Still, without an image or face, I already felt the inherent need to protect my child, this little person was a part of me. So I waited. And I grew.
*****
I was getting a little stir-crazy at what I’d decided was nearing the seventh month of my pregnancy. My belly seemed to have dropped dramatically in the past week and I’d felt a greater stress on my hips. I was honestly waddling around the house, legs bowing as though to clear a path should the baby decide at any moment to drop out of me.
“We’re heading to the garden, Sara. You good here with Seth?” Sidney and Caroline were dressing for the strangely cool weather in the front hall.
“Actually, mind if I come along?”
“Not at all. Is Seth good here on his own?”
“I can’t see why not.” I stepped into the family room. “Seth, mind if I go to the barn with these two? I need an escape for a couple of hours.”
“You’re going to miss the movie!” he shouted from his plush throne. I smiled at him. “Go on.” He waved me away. “We’ve both seen it like, 10 times in the past year. I’m good.”
“Thanks, Seth. We won’t be long, honest, and then we’ll watch it again, okay?” I laid a hand on his shoulder and he reached up with his, before I followed the other two out of the house. I hopped on the ATV and we pushed out across the field towards the barn.
The bumpy ride over the hardened dirt wasn’t exactly a good idea, but Sid took it slow. The sun would set in a couple of hours so we’d try to get in and out within a reasonable time, so not to have to navigate the dark.
Once inside we pushed on with our chores but all the while I was feeling guilty for having left Seth on his own, in that house, with Earl, Kevin and Fred there to bully him. Suddenly, and for whatever reason that passage from Earl’s notebook popped into my
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