Read Online Reaching Rose (Hunter Hill University Book 3) by J.P. Grider - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: J.P. Grider
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again. It isn't fair. It isn't fair." I sit back down, because I hurt and I'm exhausted. "It isn't fair," I whisper, punching both my thighs.
"It isn't fair, Rose. Not at all."
"And that's supposed to help me?" God, I'm being so fresh, but what am I supposed to do? This isn't the life I wanted. This isn't me. This isn't me. This isn't me. My tears find their way back, and I just want to go to sleep.
"Rose. You're beat. If you want to stay here and talk things out, then stay. If you want to rest, I'll have one of the nurses bring you back to your room. Besides, you really need to ice your face some more. I think that pack isn't cutting it anymore."
No, it isn't, since it's been lying on the chair next to me, keeping the chair nice and cold.
Nina helps me to my room and takes off my metal paper towel tube. Then I almost vomit when she takes off my protective socks and dressings. Usually Lou or Katrina does it, and I never watch. Gone are the days I can just mind-travel back to sunnier days and ignore the present. So when I see the mutilation that is my left leg, my stomach lurches, and I think I'm going to puke for real.
"I know today was rough," Nina says, looking up at me while she's tending to my missing leg, "but you should have been taught how to do this already, Rose. It was infected for a long time, so your incision is still healing. Don't think it can't get infected again, because it can. And then that will just prolong getting your permanent prosthetic. You need to care for your own stump."
That's when I hurl. All over my lap and Nina. I can't stand that word. Stump . It's an ugly word. It makes me feel ugly.
"Oh my God, Rose. Really?" Nina says, standing up, her arms held out, her face disgusted by the vomit spewed all over her Scooby-Doo scrubs.
Now we both have puke on ourselves, but only Nina can clean herself up. I'm stuck on the bed with no chair, no cane, no nothing to help me get up.
So, like the baby that I'm being, because I don't know how to act grown up with this deformity, I kick the side panel of the bed with my heel, and grunt something incoherent, even to myself.
Nina comes back in my room with Lou, and both of them tend to cleaning the vomit off of me. Afterward, I'm asked whether I want to be put in my chair, but I shake my head and pull the covers over my legs. The only thing I want to do is sleep. Even watching a funny movie with Ben tonight holds no appeal.
12
BEN
Johnny and I were disappointed when Rose didn't show up to watch a movie with us last night. Truth be told, I was the one disappointed. Johnny seemed uninterested in even watching the movie. The poor guy gets tired easily, and last night, he looked beat. His curtain is closed this morning, and it sounds like he's still sleeping, despite it being nearly eleven in the morning.
Saturdays are a little more laid back, and we only have one therapy session, so we're allowed to sleep in if we choose to. I chose not to and had breakfast in the cafeteria with a lot of the center's employees and the patients' visitors. There were some patients eating in the cafe, but I think most of them were outpatients. The inpatients usually eat in the rec center.
But after breakfast, I came back to the room to see if Johnny wanted to hang. Since he's still sleeping, I head down to the rec and promise myself I'll sit and rest my leg when I get there. It's hard to sit still, but Craig insists that I rest it, and because I still have some pain and weakness, I intend on obeying him. I grab a soda out of the fridge, sit on one of the reclining couches and give my mom a call.
"Benito, it's so good to hear your voice," she says upon answering.
"Hey, Ma. Miss you."
"Miss you too, Benny. How's pain?"
"Pain's not too bad. I'm doin' good. They unlocked my brace, so I'm walking around again."
"Oh, so good. When you come home?"
"Not sure. My therapist said another week."
"Good. Good. Papa and I come see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah. That'd
"It isn't fair, Rose. Not at all."
"And that's supposed to help me?" God, I'm being so fresh, but what am I supposed to do? This isn't the life I wanted. This isn't me. This isn't me. This isn't me. My tears find their way back, and I just want to go to sleep.
"Rose. You're beat. If you want to stay here and talk things out, then stay. If you want to rest, I'll have one of the nurses bring you back to your room. Besides, you really need to ice your face some more. I think that pack isn't cutting it anymore."
No, it isn't, since it's been lying on the chair next to me, keeping the chair nice and cold.
Nina helps me to my room and takes off my metal paper towel tube. Then I almost vomit when she takes off my protective socks and dressings. Usually Lou or Katrina does it, and I never watch. Gone are the days I can just mind-travel back to sunnier days and ignore the present. So when I see the mutilation that is my left leg, my stomach lurches, and I think I'm going to puke for real.
"I know today was rough," Nina says, looking up at me while she's tending to my missing leg, "but you should have been taught how to do this already, Rose. It was infected for a long time, so your incision is still healing. Don't think it can't get infected again, because it can. And then that will just prolong getting your permanent prosthetic. You need to care for your own stump."
That's when I hurl. All over my lap and Nina. I can't stand that word. Stump . It's an ugly word. It makes me feel ugly.
"Oh my God, Rose. Really?" Nina says, standing up, her arms held out, her face disgusted by the vomit spewed all over her Scooby-Doo scrubs.
Now we both have puke on ourselves, but only Nina can clean herself up. I'm stuck on the bed with no chair, no cane, no nothing to help me get up.
So, like the baby that I'm being, because I don't know how to act grown up with this deformity, I kick the side panel of the bed with my heel, and grunt something incoherent, even to myself.
Nina comes back in my room with Lou, and both of them tend to cleaning the vomit off of me. Afterward, I'm asked whether I want to be put in my chair, but I shake my head and pull the covers over my legs. The only thing I want to do is sleep. Even watching a funny movie with Ben tonight holds no appeal.
12
BEN
Johnny and I were disappointed when Rose didn't show up to watch a movie with us last night. Truth be told, I was the one disappointed. Johnny seemed uninterested in even watching the movie. The poor guy gets tired easily, and last night, he looked beat. His curtain is closed this morning, and it sounds like he's still sleeping, despite it being nearly eleven in the morning.
Saturdays are a little more laid back, and we only have one therapy session, so we're allowed to sleep in if we choose to. I chose not to and had breakfast in the cafeteria with a lot of the center's employees and the patients' visitors. There were some patients eating in the cafe, but I think most of them were outpatients. The inpatients usually eat in the rec center.
But after breakfast, I came back to the room to see if Johnny wanted to hang. Since he's still sleeping, I head down to the rec and promise myself I'll sit and rest my leg when I get there. It's hard to sit still, but Craig insists that I rest it, and because I still have some pain and weakness, I intend on obeying him. I grab a soda out of the fridge, sit on one of the reclining couches and give my mom a call.
"Benito, it's so good to hear your voice," she says upon answering.
"Hey, Ma. Miss you."
"Miss you too, Benny. How's pain?"
"Pain's not too bad. I'm doin' good. They unlocked my brace, so I'm walking around again."
"Oh, so good. When you come home?"
"Not sure. My therapist said another week."
"Good. Good. Papa and I come see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah. That'd
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