lips were swollen from his harsh kisses, her cheeks marked from the stubble on his face.
She looked like a woman who’d been fully possessed.
And he was the man who’d possessed her.
She was his.
Only Madame Rouge would never belong to any man, not for more than a moment, more than a night.
For a moment, he wished Ruby’s face was clean, wished he could see the angelic face he knew hid beneath the paint, wished it were her soft blond locks that spread across the pillow instead of the stiffer hair of the wig.
For a moment, just a moment, he wished it were Emma beneath him, wished Ruby could once again transform into the inner woman she kept so well hidden.
He rolled to the side and stared up at the ceiling. The room had grown darker. One of the candles must have sputtered out. “Why the wig tonight, when you didn’t wear it last time?”
Even with his eyes on the ceiling, he could tell she did not turn to look at him. “I could say it is only practical. I would not want to be seen in the halls without it. Even here, in my house, I do not show my true face. Or perhaps I wanted to see if you would cry
Ruby
instead of
Emma
.”
He focused on the first part of her statement. “You say
could
?”
“If I am honest, it is more than that. I know who I am when I am Madame Rouge. It is easier when all my defenses are in place. Sometimes when I take off the wig, when I try to be Miss Emma Scanton, I am no longer sure who I am.”
Now he did turn to face her. “I am surprised that you share that with me.”
A soft, barely heard chuckle. “I am too. I probably would not if you had not put me into such a state. I find I simply have no cares, no shields. Not that I am sure I ever did with you. I am not sure why I came to you at all that first night. I hadn’t meant to. And I certainly don’t know why I came to you without my paint. It is true I had already undressed for the night, but I can pull on my wig and paint my face in mere minutes. I’ve had plenty of practice over the years. I can be called at any hour if there is trouble somewhere in the house.”
“I would imagine that is true. Perhaps you merely did not wish to get the wig wet. I was in the bath. I cannot imagine that it holds up well when mixed with water.”
Ruby still did not look at him. “I imagine that is true. I would have to admit that I’ve never tried. Most of my encounters have been very well planned.”
Most of her encounters? He was not sure he wished to hear of most of her encounters. “And ours was not?”
Again that chuckle. “How can you even ask? I am not sure that I’ve ever been tumbled against the wall before. You certainly cannot say that I planned that.”
“And last time, that first time?”
“I didn’t know I was going to you until I was halfway down the stairs to the bath. I am not sure that even then I fully understood what I was doing.”
He turned back to the ceiling. “I must admit that I seem to have no control when you are about. I certainly hoped to have you when first we met—my clumsy offer should have made that clear—but I never expected you to actually come to me. And this time—this time I hardly stopped between Manchester and London because I knew I could be with you sooner.”
“And yet you never wrote except for that one slim note.”
“And what would you have had me say? I’ve never been a man of words and whatever this thing between us is, it is not a thing of words.”
She did not answer, but her lids lifted until she stared up at the ceiling beside him.
“I should have written,” he said after a moment. “If only to let you know how long I would be delayed. I meant no disrespect, but my life seemed so far removed from what happens here between us.”
“I know. I understand.” Her voice had grown very quiet. “It’s funny. I’ve long balanced living two lives, Emma’s and Ruby’s, and wished that I did not have to. And now I find myself adding a third, because you are right,
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