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Authors: Judy Goldschmidt
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note asking me if I had time to come over after school and help him with the speech.
It said:
Â
Dear Raisin,
Can you come over to my house after school today and help me with the speech?
Your friend,
CJ
Â
Iâm glad he isnât wigged out by my running out of the skybox yesterday. But Iâm not sure what this note means. Does he still like me after all? Is he trying to two-time Dylan with me? Maybe heâs like one of those guys in Utah who believes a man should have many wives?
During homeroom I asked Lynn what she thought the note meant, and you know what she said? She said, âI donât know, Raise. I think it means he wants to know if you can go to his house after school and help him.â
What kind of help is that? She must have known very well that I wasnât asking her to tell me what the note means. I was asking her to tell me that the note means that CJ likes me. I donât know whatâs gotten into her lately.
Since Lynn refused to tell me what I wanted to hear, I asked Jeremy, who was standing right next to her.
He said the exact same thing that Lynn did. Only louder. Then he looked at Lynn and giggled. Heâs becoming more of a pig-head by the minute. I really did not see the humor in any of it. And if Jeremy had ever known true love the way I know true love, he might have been a little more sensitive.
I really donât know what to do. Itâd be great if CJ and I worked on the speech and he admitted that it was just an excuse to get to know me better.
But what if I go and all he wants to do is work on the speech? That would be very painful. Especially knowing that he made out with Dylan.
And worse, what if I get to his house and Dylan is there too? Just waiting for us to finish so that they can be alone?
To make out.
Until they rub each otherâs mouths off?
Then of course, I might not like CJ quite as much.
Iâm lying. It doesnât matter to me whether CJ has a mouth or not. My love for him goes beyond appearance.
Not too far beyond, though. If Dylan ever kisses his beautiful eyelashes off, weâre through.
In the meantime, I canât decide. Do I go to CJâs house or not?
Â
3:07 PM, EST
I decided not to go. I didnât want to risk feeling all that pain.
I found CJ at dismissal. He was taking a turquoise Tiffanyâs bag out from his locker. He must keep a stash of backup shopping bags in there in case his violin rips through the one heâs using.
As soon as I said hello to him, his shoulders stiffened. Then he quickly stuffed the Tiffanyâs bag back in the locker, slammed the door, and turned to face me. I wish he werenât so embarrassed of his violin. If only he acted a little more like other people, I might not be so hopelessly in love with him.
âAre you coming to my house?â he asked.
I shook my head.
âOkay, well, do you want to stay here and work in the library?â
It pained me to have to turn him down again.
âHow about the bowling alley? This might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes when I really need to think, I like to go bowling. The chaotic atmosphere helps me focus.â
He was killing me. Bowling alleys are for third-grade birthday parties or middle-aged dads. Not seventh graders who use the words counterintuitive, conducive, and I love you, Raisin. Only someone as unique and creative as CJ would concentrate well in a place as noisy as a bowling alley. Sometimes I wonder if he acts mental on purpose just to drive me wild.
âIâm sorry, CJ. I canât help you today. I have to go get my flu shot,â I lied.
I just couldnât bear the possibility of hanging out with him as friends. I need a little more time to get used to the idea of our non-boyfriend/girlfriend, non-kissing relationship.
I hope I did the right thing. Iâm going to ask Samantha what she thinks.
Â
5:02 PM, EST
You guys, I knocked on Samanthaâs door and she told me to go away.
It said:
Â
Dear Raisin,
Can you come over to my house after school today and help me with the speech?
Your friend,
CJ
Â
Iâm glad he isnât wigged out by my running out of the skybox yesterday. But Iâm not sure what this note means. Does he still like me after all? Is he trying to two-time Dylan with me? Maybe heâs like one of those guys in Utah who believes a man should have many wives?
During homeroom I asked Lynn what she thought the note meant, and you know what she said? She said, âI donât know, Raise. I think it means he wants to know if you can go to his house after school and help him.â
What kind of help is that? She must have known very well that I wasnât asking her to tell me what the note means. I was asking her to tell me that the note means that CJ likes me. I donât know whatâs gotten into her lately.
Since Lynn refused to tell me what I wanted to hear, I asked Jeremy, who was standing right next to her.
He said the exact same thing that Lynn did. Only louder. Then he looked at Lynn and giggled. Heâs becoming more of a pig-head by the minute. I really did not see the humor in any of it. And if Jeremy had ever known true love the way I know true love, he might have been a little more sensitive.
I really donât know what to do. Itâd be great if CJ and I worked on the speech and he admitted that it was just an excuse to get to know me better.
But what if I go and all he wants to do is work on the speech? That would be very painful. Especially knowing that he made out with Dylan.
And worse, what if I get to his house and Dylan is there too? Just waiting for us to finish so that they can be alone?
To make out.
Until they rub each otherâs mouths off?
Then of course, I might not like CJ quite as much.
Iâm lying. It doesnât matter to me whether CJ has a mouth or not. My love for him goes beyond appearance.
Not too far beyond, though. If Dylan ever kisses his beautiful eyelashes off, weâre through.
In the meantime, I canât decide. Do I go to CJâs house or not?
Â
3:07 PM, EST
I decided not to go. I didnât want to risk feeling all that pain.
I found CJ at dismissal. He was taking a turquoise Tiffanyâs bag out from his locker. He must keep a stash of backup shopping bags in there in case his violin rips through the one heâs using.
As soon as I said hello to him, his shoulders stiffened. Then he quickly stuffed the Tiffanyâs bag back in the locker, slammed the door, and turned to face me. I wish he werenât so embarrassed of his violin. If only he acted a little more like other people, I might not be so hopelessly in love with him.
âAre you coming to my house?â he asked.
I shook my head.
âOkay, well, do you want to stay here and work in the library?â
It pained me to have to turn him down again.
âHow about the bowling alley? This might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes when I really need to think, I like to go bowling. The chaotic atmosphere helps me focus.â
He was killing me. Bowling alleys are for third-grade birthday parties or middle-aged dads. Not seventh graders who use the words counterintuitive, conducive, and I love you, Raisin. Only someone as unique and creative as CJ would concentrate well in a place as noisy as a bowling alley. Sometimes I wonder if he acts mental on purpose just to drive me wild.
âIâm sorry, CJ. I canât help you today. I have to go get my flu shot,â I lied.
I just couldnât bear the possibility of hanging out with him as friends. I need a little more time to get used to the idea of our non-boyfriend/girlfriend, non-kissing relationship.
I hope I did the right thing. Iâm going to ask Samantha what she thinks.
Â
5:02 PM, EST
You guys, I knocked on Samanthaâs door and she told me to go away.
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