Read Online Push Me (To The Edge series, #1) by Jill Macintosh - Free Book Online Page B

though. What stunned me was the reason he had them locked away. They were heavily bookmarked with Post-it notes, all of them containing keywords. Ian had indexed the novels.
    What the fuck?
    I opened the first book to one of the marked pages and found that he had highlighted a passage where the alpha male character was talking to the female protagonist during foreplay. I recognized the dialogue. Ian had spoken almost those exact words to me one night just a couple of weeks ago. I had read the book, but hadn’t made the connection when Ian mimicked the dialogue, but now it all came together.
    My heart beat faster.
    I picked up another novel, flipped to one of the marked pages, and saw another highlighted passage. This one detailed how the female character was put in restraints, something Ian had done many times, and now I knew where he had studied the procedure.
    I must have sat there for thirty minutes, going through all the books, randomly selecting the flagged sections and inevitably matching them up to some part of our relationship.
    Ian was a charade all along. Even the few private details I thought I knew about him weren’t authentic. Who was this guy?
    I felt sorry for him. Aside from the intensely secretive aspects of his personality that bothered me to no end, there was this additional secret—he was imitating the men in those books because he had no true sense of self.
    The more I sat there, the more my feelings changed from sympathy for Ian to anger and disgust.
     
    .  .  .  .  .
     
    I was packing in the bedroom when I heard the front door open. I stepped out into the den. Ian walked toward me wordlessly and didn’t stop until he was standing maybe a foot away, looking down at me as I peered up at him.
    I stood there frozen, not scared and not feeling like I needed to get away from him, just totally perplexed. Who was I really looking at? Who was this man I’d been living with for months?
    He looked toward the office. The door was always closed, but I’d left it open.
    We stood there for what seemed like many long minutes, but was probably only thirty seconds. It was strange. I could feel my body slightly trembling out of anger, and I knew he could see it, but Ian didn’t bother to ask me what was wrong.
    He just said, “You know you aren’t supposed to be in there.”
    I was about to tell him it was too late, but he spoke before I could open my mouth.
    “ Dawn,” he said, and then paused for a few seconds. “You need to leave. It’s for your own good.”
    I let out a disgusted, sarcastic cough of a laugh. “For my own good? Since when does that matter to you?”
    “I’ m trying to protect you—”
    My full-throated laugh interrupted him. “Please stop with that bullshit. And, by the way, you don’t have to tell me to leave. I’ve already packed some bags.”
    He didn’t look surprised. “Benson will take you wherever you want to go.”
    I wondered if there had been others. The way Ian was doing this so calmly, so businesslike, I couldn’t escape the thought that he’d done this before. Maybe with just one other woman. Maybe with many. Who really knew?
    He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. “Here’s ten-thousand—”
    I cut him off. “I don’t want your money. I don’t need your money, Ian. If it’s even yours.”
    He sighed and looked down. It was the first time I had seen him display even the most remote sense of shame.
    “You don’t have anything to say for yourself?” I pressed.
    He didn’t say anything. He look ed me dead in the eyes with a blank, emotionless gaze. For the first time, I was creeped out by him. I needed to get out of there, but I couldn’t resist pushing him to say something. “You don’t know what to do next?”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “Maybe you need to go consult one of your books to tell you how to be an alpha male?”
    His jaw clenched. I’d seen that happen before, but never in anger. It was always in the throes