Read Online Pulpy and Midge by Jessica Westhead - Free Book Online Page A

just sit here and pick your handsome husband’s handsome brains.’
    Midge rattled the lid on the pot.
    â€˜Smells good!’ said Dan.
    â€˜It’s only boiling water,’ she said.
    Pulpy put his hands on his knees.
    â€˜Well,’ said Dan, ‘Beatrice’s boiling water never smells that good!’
    Beatrice slapped his arm and smiled at Midge. ‘There’s something different about you, Midge. Did you get your hair cut?’

    â€˜So!’ Pulpy clapped his hands. ‘I put the sign-up sheet for the potluck on the staff bulletin board today, with a pen on a string. Did you see it?’
    â€˜Are we talking shop here?’ said Dan. ‘Because let’s consider the ladies, now.’
    â€˜I can talk shop,’ said Beatrice. ‘I work there too, remember? Starting tomorrow.’
    â€˜Then let’s consider Midge.’ Dan smiled over at her.
    â€˜Don’t worry about me,’ said Midge. ‘I’m just here with my artichokes.’
    â€˜That you are,’ said Dan. ‘They look like nice ones too.’
    Midge dropped them in the pot.
    Dan sat back. ‘How long do those things take, anyway?’
    â€˜About forty-five minutes,’ said Beatrice, ‘or until the bottoms get soft enough to slip a fork in. So now Midge has time to sit with us!’
    â€˜I have to make a salad,’ said Midge.
    â€˜Lettuce!’ said Dan. ‘Don’t get me started on lettuce!’
    â€˜So,’ said Pulpy. ‘What are you two up to this evening?’
    â€˜This is it,’ said Dan. ‘This is our night.’
    Midge set a head of romaine on the cutting board and chopped it in half.
    â€˜Do you need any help?’ said Beatrice. ‘I’m a whiz with croutons.’
    â€˜She is,’ said Dan. ‘What brand do you use again, honey?’
    â€˜I don’t use a
brand.
I make them from scratch.’
    â€˜I’m fine, thanks anyway,’ said Midge.
    â€˜Whoa, watch out, Midge – she’ll dry out all your bread-crumbs with her powers of dehydration!’
    â€˜Why don’t you just talk to Pulpy about something unimportant?’ said Beatrice. ‘Midge and I will get the real work done around here.’ She stood up and stomped over to the kitchen. ‘Give me a tomato to slice, Midge. Throw me something green.’

    Pulpy looked at Midge, but she was bending over to get something from the fridge. Then he saw Dan looking at her too.
    â€˜Don’t pay attention to my wife,’ said his boss. ‘She gets like this.’
    â€˜Like what, Dan? Why don’t you tell them what I’m like?’
    â€˜Maybe I will.’
    â€˜Here, Beatrice.’ Midge thrust a spoon and a white jar at her. ‘You can put some of this mayonnaise in a bowl if you like.’
    â€˜You know what? Never mind,’ said Dan. ‘I was going to say something serious but now is not the time for serious. Now is the time for fun, and I think we all know what kind of fun I’m talking about.’
    Midge and Pulpy looked at each other.
    â€˜Snakes and Ladders!’ said Beatrice, and she pointed her spoonful of mayonnaise at Midge hard enough that a dollop landed on the side of her head.
    Midge reached up, slowly, and gave the creamy glob a tentative prod.
    â€˜Oops,’ said Beatrice, and the spoon clattered into the sink.
    â€˜Are you all right, Midge?’ said Pulpy.
    â€˜No, no, it’s fine. Excuse me for a minute.’ And she rushed down the hall to the bathroom with her hand over her hair.
    â€˜So, like I was saying,’ said Dan, ‘what’s more fun than Snakes and Ladders?’
    â€˜I believe that’s what
I
was saying,’ said Beatrice, returning to the living room.
    â€˜That sounds great,’ said Pulpy, ‘but we don’t have Snakes and Ladders.’
    â€˜Then it’s your lucky day,’ said Dan, ‘because we brought it with