Read Online Private affairs : a novel by Judith Michael - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Judith Michael
Ads: Link
to see if he'd do better than when he was young. Or just to have fun with what he called his small talent."
"But he died before he could try," said Elizabeth.
"Right. He died."
Spencer grimaced at the lanterns hanging above the table. "I hear what you're saying, but it doesn't wash. Nobody knows what's going to happen; nobody has a guarantee of living long enough to do everything. That's no excuse for risking your security, throwing away a thriving business—"
"We've weighed the risks," Matt said flatly. "And you have no right to tell us—"
"Daddy," Elizabeth said softly, "don't you understand? We need this."
"You mean your marriage is in trouble, is that it? And you think buying a newspaper will make it better?"
"We're not talking about our marriage," Matt said.
Elizabeth heard the ominous note in his voice. "Our marriage probably has as many ups and downs as yours," she told her father lightly. "What I meant was, we think we have to do this now. If we don't, we might never do it. We might keep putting it off—"
"We put it off!" Spencer's voice rose. "We put off indulging ourselves; we were responsible adults! Why can't you keep the printing company—a guaranteed income!—and buy into a paper? Be partners with someone! Do a little bit at a time—"
"No." Matt pushed aside his plate and leaned his arms on the table. "We believe in ourselves. We have to try with everything we have, because if we hold back, and then fail, we'll never know if we might have succeeded if only we'd had enough courage."
"I understand that," Lydia said very quietly. Spencer's face darkened. "Now listen—!" he began.
"My dear, it's my turn to talk," Lydia said. "And I want to say that I'm very impressed with Elizabeth and Matt, and I envy them."
"Mother!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Your father was miserable the last five years he was working," Lydia said. "He may sputter at you about waiting, but he knows he was counting the days until he could get out. You're quite right; he was afraid to do it before he had his full pension, and I admit I was worried, too, and didn't encourage him. But I was counting the days, too, until we could leave. Not because I didn't like my job—I loved it—but who could live with an angry, frustrated man?"
"Elizabeth knows something about that," Matt said.
"But what if it doesn't work?" Peter demanded. "I mean, what if you . . . what if. . . ."He stopped. How could he say he was afraid his parents would be failures?
"What if we fail?" Matt asked, for him. 'Then we go job hunting. Are you afraid, Peter?"
"I guess so. Shouldn't I be?"
"Sure. We all should be. We've been comfortable and secure for years; now we're talking about taking some big chances. And we're asking you to take them with us."
"Peter." Elizabeth leaned forward. "We've thought about this a lot; it's something we want and need very much. You and Holly have your lives ahead of you, but when you get older the years slip away so fast ... I wish I could make you understand how it feels to turn around and find it's another spring or summer or Christmas and another year of your life is gone. And you can't get it back; you can't make up for what you haven't done in those twelve months. What we're afraid of is waking up one day and finding out it's too late to do the things we dreamed about and gave up and started thinking about again after Grandpa Zachary died. If we don't try now, when we have our health and enough energy to begin something new, we're afraid we may never try. Then we'd look back someday and know we missed our chance, maybe our only chance. And we don't want to live with that regret."
"I didn't think we had such an awful life," Peter mumbled.
Holly turned on her brother. "Can't you have some imagination? You and I could get jobs, you know! If you don't shape up you'll be a stodgy old man before you're fifteen."
"Somebody has to be careful around here!" Peter shouted, and on the
last word his voice cracked, ending on a high
"But he died before he could try," said Elizabeth.
"Right. He died."
Spencer grimaced at the lanterns hanging above the table. "I hear what you're saying, but it doesn't wash. Nobody knows what's going to happen; nobody has a guarantee of living long enough to do everything. That's no excuse for risking your security, throwing away a thriving business—"
"We've weighed the risks," Matt said flatly. "And you have no right to tell us—"
"Daddy," Elizabeth said softly, "don't you understand? We need this."
"You mean your marriage is in trouble, is that it? And you think buying a newspaper will make it better?"
"We're not talking about our marriage," Matt said.
Elizabeth heard the ominous note in his voice. "Our marriage probably has as many ups and downs as yours," she told her father lightly. "What I meant was, we think we have to do this now. If we don't, we might never do it. We might keep putting it off—"
"We put it off!" Spencer's voice rose. "We put off indulging ourselves; we were responsible adults! Why can't you keep the printing company—a guaranteed income!—and buy into a paper? Be partners with someone! Do a little bit at a time—"
"No." Matt pushed aside his plate and leaned his arms on the table. "We believe in ourselves. We have to try with everything we have, because if we hold back, and then fail, we'll never know if we might have succeeded if only we'd had enough courage."
"I understand that," Lydia said very quietly. Spencer's face darkened. "Now listen—!" he began.
"My dear, it's my turn to talk," Lydia said. "And I want to say that I'm very impressed with Elizabeth and Matt, and I envy them."
"Mother!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Your father was miserable the last five years he was working," Lydia said. "He may sputter at you about waiting, but he knows he was counting the days until he could get out. You're quite right; he was afraid to do it before he had his full pension, and I admit I was worried, too, and didn't encourage him. But I was counting the days, too, until we could leave. Not because I didn't like my job—I loved it—but who could live with an angry, frustrated man?"
"Elizabeth knows something about that," Matt said.
"But what if it doesn't work?" Peter demanded. "I mean, what if you . . . what if. . . ."He stopped. How could he say he was afraid his parents would be failures?
"What if we fail?" Matt asked, for him. 'Then we go job hunting. Are you afraid, Peter?"
"I guess so. Shouldn't I be?"
"Sure. We all should be. We've been comfortable and secure for years; now we're talking about taking some big chances. And we're asking you to take them with us."
"Peter." Elizabeth leaned forward. "We've thought about this a lot; it's something we want and need very much. You and Holly have your lives ahead of you, but when you get older the years slip away so fast ... I wish I could make you understand how it feels to turn around and find it's another spring or summer or Christmas and another year of your life is gone. And you can't get it back; you can't make up for what you haven't done in those twelve months. What we're afraid of is waking up one day and finding out it's too late to do the things we dreamed about and gave up and started thinking about again after Grandpa Zachary died. If we don't try now, when we have our health and enough energy to begin something new, we're afraid we may never try. Then we'd look back someday and know we missed our chance, maybe our only chance. And we don't want to live with that regret."
"I didn't think we had such an awful life," Peter mumbled.
Holly turned on her brother. "Can't you have some imagination? You and I could get jobs, you know! If you don't shape up you'll be a stodgy old man before you're fifteen."
"Somebody has to be careful around here!" Peter shouted, and on the
last word his voice cracked, ending on a high
Similar Books
