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Authors: Danielle Torella
Tags: The Private Series
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rise up with his hands. A loss for words. “I am sorry, but no, I don’t…” He finally gusts out.
“When was it?” James asks eagerly.
She looks at him slowly in fear of seeing judgment in his eyes. She is afraid that his view on her will change, that we won’t love her anymore. “A couple years ago.”
I see slight relief on James’s face, “So it wasn’t when we were together?” She shakes her head no slowly. “So let me get this right … He fucks you and forgot about you? And then my sister?” I start to see his fists clench again.
I step back in front of Ben instinctively.
“I was different back then James. I … I did a lot of things that I wasn’t proud of. Yes, I slept with women, a lot of women and I forgot who they were. I drank a lot and so did they, typically…” He looks to Erin and gives her an apologetic glance. “Look, I am sorry if we hooked up and I didn’t remember.”
Takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “I am sorry, but if I had remembered sleeping with Red, then I would have told you a long time ago. I know my pasts keep coming up and I am gravely sorry about that.”
“Okay,” I turn around and walk to Erin. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I was scared that you wouldn’t want to be my friend, if you found out that I had already had sex with the guy you were into. Not every girl is chicks before dicks, you know?” I can’t help but laugh at her confession.
James throws his arms up in the air, “Am I the only here who sees how fucked up this is?”
“James, it happened years ago.” I try to get him to understand. “Things happen. People happen and so do mistakes. But we grow and learn to overcome it … I have.”
Ben touches his cracked lip and tries, tries for me. “If I would have known how things would be today, with your sister and Red. If I would have known how much shit I would fuck up, I wouldn’t have done any of it. But If I didn’t go through my personal hell … I wouldn’t have found my heaven.” He looks at me across the room. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I don’t remember half the women I have slept with, but I have been over that ever since I met Tess.”
He is spilling it all out, when he doesn’t even have to explain anything to anyone, but he does for me. He will fight to make me happy and not put a strain on mine and James’s relationship. He of all people know how important family is.
“I am just looking out for my sister. That’s all I can do. She is my family, my world.”
“I know that feeling all too well. I have a little sister too and I feel like a failure to her right now. Like it’s partially my fault that she is where she is right now.” It’s nice to see Ben open up about a sensitive subject with James. This is something they can have in common – the love for their sisters.
I can see that James still isn’t settled with the conversation. He is tense and I notice that he isn’t making eye contact with Erin. She must notice too, because she is standing insecurely off to herself with her arms crossed and she is looking down to the floor. I have a feeling that her promiscuity was never a discussed topic.
I shoot James a: what the fuck are you doing? look and I go to stand with her, to hug her. He straightens his shoulders and comes over to us. I threaten him with my eyes to watch what he says.
“So… have you been with a lot of guys? Is this something I need to worry about? Seeing your past … fucks around? Or fearing that you’re going to cheat on me?” His tone is clipped and shaky. I think he’s afraid of the answer that is hanging in the thick air. I nudge her shoulder to show her that I am going to give them some privacy. I walk next to Ben and dart my head to the direction of our room.
Seeing my brother with the same concerns that I have battled with from the start with Ben is eye opening. I see the same fear and emotion on his face that I felt in my heart. But seeing the way it was
“When was it?” James asks eagerly.
She looks at him slowly in fear of seeing judgment in his eyes. She is afraid that his view on her will change, that we won’t love her anymore. “A couple years ago.”
I see slight relief on James’s face, “So it wasn’t when we were together?” She shakes her head no slowly. “So let me get this right … He fucks you and forgot about you? And then my sister?” I start to see his fists clench again.
I step back in front of Ben instinctively.
“I was different back then James. I … I did a lot of things that I wasn’t proud of. Yes, I slept with women, a lot of women and I forgot who they were. I drank a lot and so did they, typically…” He looks to Erin and gives her an apologetic glance. “Look, I am sorry if we hooked up and I didn’t remember.”
Takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “I am sorry, but if I had remembered sleeping with Red, then I would have told you a long time ago. I know my pasts keep coming up and I am gravely sorry about that.”
“Okay,” I turn around and walk to Erin. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I was scared that you wouldn’t want to be my friend, if you found out that I had already had sex with the guy you were into. Not every girl is chicks before dicks, you know?” I can’t help but laugh at her confession.
James throws his arms up in the air, “Am I the only here who sees how fucked up this is?”
“James, it happened years ago.” I try to get him to understand. “Things happen. People happen and so do mistakes. But we grow and learn to overcome it … I have.”
Ben touches his cracked lip and tries, tries for me. “If I would have known how things would be today, with your sister and Red. If I would have known how much shit I would fuck up, I wouldn’t have done any of it. But If I didn’t go through my personal hell … I wouldn’t have found my heaven.” He looks at me across the room. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I don’t remember half the women I have slept with, but I have been over that ever since I met Tess.”
He is spilling it all out, when he doesn’t even have to explain anything to anyone, but he does for me. He will fight to make me happy and not put a strain on mine and James’s relationship. He of all people know how important family is.
“I am just looking out for my sister. That’s all I can do. She is my family, my world.”
“I know that feeling all too well. I have a little sister too and I feel like a failure to her right now. Like it’s partially my fault that she is where she is right now.” It’s nice to see Ben open up about a sensitive subject with James. This is something they can have in common – the love for their sisters.
I can see that James still isn’t settled with the conversation. He is tense and I notice that he isn’t making eye contact with Erin. She must notice too, because she is standing insecurely off to herself with her arms crossed and she is looking down to the floor. I have a feeling that her promiscuity was never a discussed topic.
I shoot James a: what the fuck are you doing? look and I go to stand with her, to hug her. He straightens his shoulders and comes over to us. I threaten him with my eyes to watch what he says.
“So… have you been with a lot of guys? Is this something I need to worry about? Seeing your past … fucks around? Or fearing that you’re going to cheat on me?” His tone is clipped and shaky. I think he’s afraid of the answer that is hanging in the thick air. I nudge her shoulder to show her that I am going to give them some privacy. I walk next to Ben and dart my head to the direction of our room.
Seeing my brother with the same concerns that I have battled with from the start with Ben is eye opening. I see the same fear and emotion on his face that I felt in my heart. But seeing the way it was
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